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All the single men either or constantly travelling or love hiking...I like going to b&m

190 replies

wiseoldsnail · 14/05/2024 13:09

Dating apps are full of men who just want to travel or spend all their free time half way up a mountain.

Please tell me I'm not the only one that sees this?

I'd just like someone to go to ikea with on a Sunday....maybe a carvery as an extra treat. Not sweating my arse off pretending im enjoying 23 mile uphill walk

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 14/05/2024 15:38

We're hikers. Not so much now, OH has dodgy knees. But in younger times we went lots of walks. OH also likes NT places and ancient monuments, I can do without the monuments, one mound of earth is much like any other. However OH is fascinated by ancient British history and like lots of people who have a passion can make that sound interesting. That makes these trips more enjoyable.
I did lots of proper walks (foothills of the Himalayas, Andes etc). OH stayed home and let me go alone.
On the other hand we both love our allotment and tinkering with cars. We also shop together and he has preferences of where we go for lunch or a tea and cake.

I'd take what people write on their profile with a pinch of salt. If he likes walking suggest a trip to the zoo or a NT property where you can have a nice walk and a cream tea after.

K8ate · 14/05/2024 15:42

Sounds perfect to me 😀

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 14/05/2024 15:43

Do you really want your bloke hanging around while you go for a mooch round the shops? Personally I prefer them to go and park the car ( for ages) or stay at home and do something useful, like attempting to construct a ‘self assembly 😂🤣 chest of drawers’ .

But dating profiles are mainly fantasy anyway, I believe - maybe arrange the first date in the IKEA cafe and see where it goes from there.

Whizzgosh · 14/05/2024 15:57

You’re not wrong! When I met my dp we had a conversation about how I had avoided profiles with men in Lycra or holding a fish, he had avoided women with filters and bunny ears. I think people make a profile of who they wish they were not who they actually are. (He enjoys a carvery, IKEA not so much!)

HolidayAtNight · 14/05/2024 15:58

Yeah, too much focus on activities and holidays can definitely be off-putting. It makes me suspect that they are using DOING interesting things as a substitute for BEING interesting.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 14/05/2024 16:02

My first date with my current chap was in a very nice cafe, where you can get a big pot of tea and they do lovely cakes ... we both like that sort of place 😂 He does have some active hobbies, nothing as tame as a hike. And I like Pilates, art and singing. Somehow it's worked for over 5 years ...

... we met on a 'casual' dating site, when we were both looking for nothing more than a FWB. They are out there, OP.

Crikeyalmighty · 14/05/2024 16:10

@SamW98 I like your style - if I was ever single and on line dating (mind you at 62 I think I would rather cut my arm off without anaesthetic ). Here's what I would post- weed out this timewasters

Are you into cycling multiple times a week, mountain climbing, hiking for hours, snowboarding, rock climbing, canooing, caveing, golf- fantastic- get in with it- but I won't be joining you - you will find me pottering round the shops, having a glass of wine, going for coffee, cooking, reading ( everything from novels to biographies to magazines) and arguing with random
people on Twitter about politics

Also if you aren't interested in current affairs , think Reform talk sense and want to live on a diet of sausage chips and beans 7 days a week or watch wall to wall sport 7 days a week- then it's really not going to work

That should see off a few!!

Bobbotgegrinch · 14/05/2024 16:15

You're missing the boredom factor.

My mate got divorced about 5 years ago, got massively into rock climbing shortly afterwards. Would go on weekends away, every evening.

When he met his current partner he dropped it like a stone.

Men often end up with a lot of free time after a divorce. They still generally see the kids less, and often don't end up in a shitty little flat so that the kids don't have to move out of the family home.

Who wants to go to a carvery by themselves, or Ikea? And sitting in front of the TV every night alone with a chinese in your crappy flat is a surefire route to depression.

So some men throw themselves into work. Some find themselves a bunch of single buddies in the pub every night, and some find a solitary hobby, like rock climbing, or running, or hiking, or cycling, or surfing.

The ones who do the latter are likely to be the most well adjusted ones, so don't write them off too soon. Go on a few dates, if you find you're struggling to schedule them in around his hobby, then thats a sign he ain't giving it up any time soon. On the other hand, if he's happy to ignore the call of the wild in order to spend time with you, he's likely to seriously reduce the time he spends doing it going forwards.

Nogooddeed7 · 14/05/2024 16:16

Give me bondage over hiking any day!

I’m convinced men don’t actually read your bio on dating sites. They swipe yes to as many women as possible because then the law of average is that some will actually accept them.

PumpkinsAndCoconuts · 14/05/2024 16:17

Ikea is good on weekdays or early morning. otherwise... well, anyhow.

The vast majority of them won´t be on a hike every weekend. They´re just choosing photos and activities that make them appear active, athletic, with a fulfilled life etc.

heartbroken40 · 14/05/2024 16:48

@wiseoldsnail I am a woman and I'm very active. A profile that says "I like going to Ikea and Toby Carvery" would make me run.

Sorry but idleness is very unattractive at any age. We all work hard in our day job and yes of course we have times of rest. But surely life is to be lived - whether it's cycling, travelling, going to the opera or hiking beautiful mountains.

It's also true that you attract people with similar interests so you might find the man who sits on the sofa and goes to B&Q In his spare time

ClipClopperDontStopper · 14/05/2024 16:55

PanicAttax · 14/05/2024 15:35

Wow, not been on a dating site in years but when I was it was all fat bald guys holding fish in football shirts.

I honestly don't think I've met many men who like travelling, but I wish I had!

I'm picturing a carp in an Aston Villa shirt.

Puppuccino · 14/05/2024 16:56

heartbroken40 · 14/05/2024 16:48

@wiseoldsnail I am a woman and I'm very active. A profile that says "I like going to Ikea and Toby Carvery" would make me run.

Sorry but idleness is very unattractive at any age. We all work hard in our day job and yes of course we have times of rest. But surely life is to be lived - whether it's cycling, travelling, going to the opera or hiking beautiful mountains.

It's also true that you attract people with similar interests so you might find the man who sits on the sofa and goes to B&Q In his spare time

This is exactly why I swipe left. Everyone enjoys those things, but they're not regular hobbies for all of us, and we don't want to be thought of as idle for being normal...

wiseoldsnail · 14/05/2024 16:58

heartbroken40 · 14/05/2024 16:48

@wiseoldsnail I am a woman and I'm very active. A profile that says "I like going to Ikea and Toby Carvery" would make me run.

Sorry but idleness is very unattractive at any age. We all work hard in our day job and yes of course we have times of rest. But surely life is to be lived - whether it's cycling, travelling, going to the opera or hiking beautiful mountains.

It's also true that you attract people with similar interests so you might find the man who sits on the sofa and goes to B&Q In his spare time

I'm not exactly going to put ikea and a carvery on my profile 😂😂😂

Ive not said I want a man that sits on the sofa. I've just said I don't find the constant need for adventure attractive. I actually like a man that's into sports and I like sports myself.

It's a light hearted thread. Sense of humour is a must if anything....

OP posts:
heartbroken40 · 14/05/2024 17:00

@Puppuccino but I really enjoy it! Say cycling London to Paris or sailing. These are my things, they make me feel happy and alive. I don't care if everyone does it I do it too (and I'm late 40s)

If I started dating someone whose hobby is "sitting on the sofa" we would kill each other very quickly

blackice · 14/05/2024 17:03

TreesWelliesKnees · 14/05/2024 13:28

Hmm. I don't mind IKEA or a pub lunch. I like mooching about shops, a bit of diy etc. But I wouldn't put it on my dating profile because it's just everyday living. It's not a hobby or an interest as such. I think a dating profile needs to say something about your aspirations, or something a bit unique about you or what matters to you. Maybe those blokes who put photos of them standing on a hill on their profile are just letting you know that they don't plan to plonk their arse on the sofa for the next forty years. That's to be welcomed, I think.

Agree with this

heartbroken40 · 14/05/2024 17:04

@wiseoldsnail I do crave adventure instead so for me that's what floats my boat. I met several men like me while OLD. I narrowed it down to 2 (sounds cold but in reality they are both amazing men) and my current partner of 2.5 years is super super adventurous and we spend our weekends doing cycling 30 miles, or hiking indeed (I have an app with the best hikes) or swimming in the sea even in winter etc

Each to their own indeed

SamW98 · 14/05/2024 17:06

Nogooddeed7 · 14/05/2024 16:16

Give me bondage over hiking any day!

I’m convinced men don’t actually read your bio on dating sites. They swipe yes to as many women as possible because then the law of average is that some will actually accept them.

They don’t read profiles just look at the pictures.

I’ve got on mine ‘please message something better than hi or 👋 - both are an instant unmatch’

75% of the first messages I get are one of those - and most of the rest are ‘hey babe’ ‘hi gorgeous’ or something cheesy or sleazy.

DazedNotConfused1 · 14/05/2024 17:42

Op maybe try dating another woman 😂 or attend a book club or church group or something to find a more laid back, down to earth guy!

DazedNotConfused1 · 14/05/2024 17:44

And for me it was men who travelled loads on dating apps which was a complete turn off!! Self indulgent narcissists

Thursdaygirl · 14/05/2024 17:53

Bobbotgegrinch · 14/05/2024 16:15

You're missing the boredom factor.

My mate got divorced about 5 years ago, got massively into rock climbing shortly afterwards. Would go on weekends away, every evening.

When he met his current partner he dropped it like a stone.

Men often end up with a lot of free time after a divorce. They still generally see the kids less, and often don't end up in a shitty little flat so that the kids don't have to move out of the family home.

Who wants to go to a carvery by themselves, or Ikea? And sitting in front of the TV every night alone with a chinese in your crappy flat is a surefire route to depression.

So some men throw themselves into work. Some find themselves a bunch of single buddies in the pub every night, and some find a solitary hobby, like rock climbing, or running, or hiking, or cycling, or surfing.

The ones who do the latter are likely to be the most well adjusted ones, so don't write them off too soon. Go on a few dates, if you find you're struggling to schedule them in around his hobby, then thats a sign he ain't giving it up any time soon. On the other hand, if he's happy to ignore the call of the wild in order to spend time with you, he's likely to seriously reduce the time he spends doing it going forwards.

This is very good advice

SparrowFeet · 14/05/2024 17:56

Anybody who says they like going on hikes instead of 'walking' is someone that I know would annoy me.
Same with 'travelling' instead of 'going on holiday'

wiseoldsnail · 14/05/2024 17:56

DazedNotConfused1 · 14/05/2024 17:42

Op maybe try dating another woman 😂 or attend a book club or church group or something to find a more laid back, down to earth guy!

Honestly I've thought about dating a woman! I can definitely appreciate an attractive woman but it's just not there....don't think I'd ever get butterflies for another woman.

OP posts:
Thursdaygirl · 14/05/2024 18:01

SparrowFeet · 14/05/2024 17:56

Anybody who says they like going on hikes instead of 'walking' is someone that I know would annoy me.
Same with 'travelling' instead of 'going on holiday'

Absolutely - I agree hiking and travelling roughly translates as walking and holidays

SamW98 · 14/05/2024 18:03

SparrowFeet · 14/05/2024 17:56

Anybody who says they like going on hikes instead of 'walking' is someone that I know would annoy me.
Same with 'travelling' instead of 'going on holiday'

Yep. And any man with a photo on a paddle board is someone I know I’m not going to be spending any time with