Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

It's just grief isn't it. It's a mental and physical weight constantly pulling me down.

I'm a teacher so this is very much not possible but...I just need ten minutes to rest my head on my desk and fucking wallow, then I can try to get on with my life, my day.

@YouAreAllMySymmetry yes it’s taken two weeks of no contact to reliase it’s been like you say for months. It’s banal chit chat then nothing else then I ended up feeling worse than if we hadn’t spoken then I would worry id put him off then message again to reassure myself. I mean wtf? He’s not even my partner! I wouldn’t even do that in a relationship!

Yeah I mean, it just absolutely doesn't matter does it. WTF why am I so stupid 😆

Been lurking and reading for afew day and am so glad this isn't just me! I thought I was broken.

Most here seem to be married? Have any of you been discovered messaging your secret person?

No but I don't think my husband doesn't have his own thoughts about the friendship'.

Sort of but he was aware I knew him.

Almost 6 weeks since I last sent him a text. This week he's been subtly trying to get my attention in the most boring and pathetic ways. I'm only taking a tiny piece of sadistic pleasure in letting him feel confused and denying him the ego boost he's after. It's for his own good. He needs cold turkey as much as I do.

What’s he doing @LizaMinnellisFurCoat ?

Just stupid things like repeatedly walking by my desk and having non work related conversations with anyone who happens to be in my office. He doesn’t work in my department or even on my floor, so there’s no need for him to be there at all. Fortunately, each time he's done this I've been busy explaining tasks to someone else, so I've not had to engage with him at all. And he sent a reply to a business question, which I asked on Teams, to my personal email account.
I plan to ignore it all. He'll probably give up soon. If he ever wants a conversation about everything that's happened then I'd be prepared to have that with him, but it’s definitely done. This sort of ridiculous behaviour is making him less attractive by the day.

Day 2 for me.

I realise this is the easiest it will be as (presumably) he's still staying with friends.

I won't go to the joint hobby we go to at the weekend.

Just drove through his town on the way to do something really fun with new people. And now he's all over me again. Wonder if there will ever be a day when he's not. I don't think so at this point.

New here, first thread I ever felt I HAD to be part of. I'm not not trying to contact him. Desperately riding the waves of intensity with someone I just shouldn't know. Incredible highs, the lows are just unbearable. Last week we were closer than ever, this week it's polite somewhat detached texts. How did I ever get here, why don't I want to leave ?

Welcome @Chunkytown . I know how you feel, the highs are just amazing, and the lows just totally suck. I am doing really well this week, he has barely crossed my mind at all. Work really busy just now, and focusing on doing more stuff with my kids. Not gonna lie, he is there at the back of my mind through it all, but not as much as before. When I first started reading here, and people said time was a great healer, I didn't believe them. But I actually think I am making progress! Another weekend is rolling round, but I am DEFINITELY NOT going to message him this time!! 😀

I don't know everyones story, but chap I'm trying to not text is a decent bloke and made me feel amazing
We had something really good, but it's just not possible at the moment. I'm mid 50s , meeting men who are ready and not still emotionally coming to terms with a separation or divorce or not returning to behaviour in their 20s - just seems impossible.

Well I gave in after 2 weeks because he kept changing his whatsapp pics to famous people who've killed themselves, or his knives. And changed his bio to some sad lyrics. No caller ID called my phone numerous times
Unblocked him and he called me a stalker! He knows that upsets me. So he's desperately tried to get my attention and then shits on it. Narc!

Anyway it's reset my determination to keep block on and solidified why.

I've been here from the beginning with name changes, don't post much but it's helped me immensely this thread. Still can't get them out of my head or stop checking they are online.
I even ignored a message last week but they were relentless and messaged again the next day which I replied to. It was an 'innocent' one though were the one the night before was not.
I'm staying strong with my never message first rule but it's so so hard.
Reading this thread daily helps though, I've no idea how to make another and link but we are running out.......

I'm the OP so I totally get where you're coming from.

I've had a great day out with new friends. But I'm on the train crying all the way home. Why? Who knows.

And yes! You're right, we need another thread! I'll start one.

Link a new thread, just listening to music & did my evening check of this . Got a song for us - well it just bloody jumped out at me xxx

Here’s the song, not all of it but some of the in your head bit , ha but maybe just me once….used to relate but think I’m getting over it
https://open.spotify.com/track/2vcv0Aagjdd3mxkYDSqWXq?si=1_yyMLhaQN2B0M3coG3klw

🤣🤣🤣🤣 my play list from a few a months ago when in the full on messages state, fucking hideous embarrassing.
Yep it’s sunk in

Well if you’re the thread 💫 🌟 🌟 starter go for it - fab supporting thread - who knew there were so many of us…… all slightly different stories, but somewhere we all seem to resonate with

Started a new one but not sure I can link to it on the app. Will tag you.

Anyone else trying not not to contact a guy part 2?? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/5101559-anyone-else-trying-not-not-to-contact-a-guy-part-2

New thread if it works!