Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

yes! Well done.. no more thinking of other..move forward!!

Me -two weeks and I have not contacted him. Am bloody proud of me 😀

Nooo don’t. You’re right and you’ll just feel even more rubbish.

Yeah I'm 100% not going to. Not tempted even. Can't get on the merry go round again.

I'll never regret silence and all that.

Awesome 🤩

First post, can I join?
Trying super hard to stop messaging a guy from long ago. Recently reconnected online when my family was away. Can’t stop thinking about him even though he’s clearly not into it (despite being very happy to get hot & heavy with me on his terms 🙄).
This thread has been so helpful to me realising what was going on but I feel like I still need the hit as feeling really neglected by my partner 😢
Not really sure why I’m posting. Urgh.

Welcome to the lair of the lost @LouisianaForever ❤️

Being on this threads really really helps. Anything you want to say to him you can say here instead. It helps so much to cheer each other on and know we're all struggling in it together.

Wow. Thank you so much, this means a lot 🥰
I have one friend who knows about it but feel like I’m being burdensome as she’s the only one that knows. Reading all the chat here has helped me so much more than I thought it would already 🩷

Yeah I had one friend who I burdened with it so much that she's pretty much not my friend any more. People don't want to hear it.

I’m sorry to hear that 😔
My friend is super supportive but I’m conscious I don’t want to cause a rift so it helps to have an outlet like this.

Yeah mine was supportive for the first...year? After that i guess it just became a drag.

It hasn’t been that long for me (yet 😆). He’s gone quiet - tbf it’s usually me initiating the chat. I feel a bit sad & used, even though I knew what I was doing and also shouldn’t have been doing it. Then I feel guilty for being upset. It’s when I’m on my own that the urge to message him is strongest 😖

@LouisianaForever same. I am always the one initiating the chat with my guy. When I do, he always come back super enthusiastic. Then nothing for a while, then again its me who starts up the next chat. Not heard from him in a while now and determined not to message first. Its been 1 week since I have been tempted to message, and 2 days since I last checked to see if he is online. Haha - proud of myself! But I know deep down, he's just not into me. But he was a lovely distraction from a hopeless marriage, and I do miss him...

Oh my good- it’s been nearly two weeks but it feels like ages. I don’t care if he never messages again. It’s like it happened to a different person. The only thing is and please don’t judge. My sex life got better from talking to him because of the way he would speak to me it made me feel more sexy. But sometimes it made me feel like a slut so it’s a trade off I’m cool with. Maybe I need to read some erotic fiction 🤣. Seriously though I’m done. If he messages again I really don’t care.

Haha @namechangeforthis5 there is definitely something in that. I was essentially semi turned on the entire like 18 months or whatever 🤣

Search for smut on Insta 😉

I shall have to reset my no contact back to zero...but that's ok. I'm fine with occasional chatting; that's what friends, normal friends, should do.

Well done for making it to a week! Only 3 days for me, after I suggested we maybe try to meet up in person & got a pretty cold response. I know why, it’s no doubt scary as I’m the one in the relationship, but it still feels like a rejection. I need to get over myself 🤦🏻‍♀️
It’s a distraction for me too, from a relationship where I don’t get any attention or affection.

@LouisianaForever the rejection is the worst part. To go from an amazing high to a crushing low. Trying to find other ways to distract myself from thinking about him. Focusing on my work and kids. My marriage has been over for a while, we both know that. But just to get that glimmer of attention for a while was absolutely amazing. I miss it. Not the guy so much, I know he was all wrong for me, but omg, he was hot. 😆 I felt alive for a while, and I miss and crave that feeling

@SionnNess 100% this. I keep having to come back here just to stop myself from messaging him. I work from home and so I’m on my own a lot of the time and it’s a massive distraction at the moment 😣
I just want that hit of feeling attractive and desirable, that I haven’t had for so long.
My guy is a crush from a loooong time ago. I knew he liked me & we never did anything about it back then. Wouldn’t have got back in touch if not for social media. Just so many conflicting feelings. Good to have a place here I can write it all down even though it makes me feel sad 💔

@SionnNess me too, this post has been a life line. I work from home too, and it has been hectic this week, which is good, keeps my mind off things. But now its the weekend, too much time on my hands and too much wine probably will make me maudlin. Trying to fill my weekend with as many activities as I can!

@SionnNess definitely helps to keep busy. Good luck for the weekend. You’ve got this 💛

Ha ha. I will!

I think it's hard because I don't wanna unblock him but I don't wanna talk to anyone new either, I can't be bothered. But I miss the notifications..
It doesn't help that he keeps trying to get back in

They will always try and worm their way back in if we let them. Truth is they are weak men that look for strong, loyal women to feed off. The dip in and out when it suits them, looking for an ego boost and know we are soft and will give in. It's up to you as a person whether you are prepared to accept this or not. A decent, loving and caring man would never put you in a situation that caused discomfort or distress...ever!

This is so true. And I'm tired of being someone around for him to feel good from every now and then. the negatives I feel far outweigh the positives for me these days so as tempting as it sometimes is, this block is solid

Hey ladies. How are you all? I know I dip in and out on here but am trying really hard not to text mine atm so thought I'd write on here instead!
So it's been....(And I am trying to work this out, I'm not keeping count!) ...5 weeks since I last text him and he didn't reply, 8 weeks since we stopped it all.
But last week he sent me a blank email, then another almost blank email just saying 'ok'. I ignored it, as hard as it was! I
Just wanted to ask wtf was the point in sending that. Secretly glad he's obviously still thinking about me.
Want to message him right now. Pretend I just found his blank emails in my junk box and ask what it was all about. Or something.
STOP ME!!!

@Boredbutcantstopscrolling don't do it. Find something to keep you occupied! You don’t need to.
I know the urge is real, I’m in the same boat (not email but IG messaging). You’ve done so well to get this far!!! You can be strong and do it. I’m a complete stranger & I believe in you. Write as much here as you want to, read a book, watch a film, do the ironing…..washing up….anything! Stay strong 🩷