Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

@LouisianaForever thank you! We were watching a soppy movie about babies which made me wonder what if....what if we had got together and done all that...which is ridiculous as I love my husband and children and wouldn't give them up for anything. So why do I even think things like that?! It's stupid and I hate it.
How are you doing?

@Boredbutcantstopscrolling i get that, the random thoughts like what if I’d made different choices. It just happens to me too then I’m like wtf am I thinking?!!
Doing ok but it’s been less than a week for me 🤦🏻‍♀️ Lots of things to tempt me today & haven’t messaged so feel good about that. Remember, you’ve got this 💪🏼

Saw mine at work unexpectedly this morning because he'd picked up an extra shift. He approached me, so I was just extra professional and polite, but cool. That's how our interactions have to be now, no warmth or friendliness to avoid any confusion, at least until it's clear we've both moved on. I feel really good about it. I didn’t reply to his message last week and he didn’t send a follow up.

Well done @LizaMinnellisFurCoat. That’s amazing

Love this. Stay strong 💪🏼

It didn’t take that much to be fair. The attraction’s definitely gone, for me at least. When I saw him I had a "what were you thinking?" moment. It's like I've had beer goggles on for years! The hard part was keeping absolutely neutral, because I’m naturally warm and friendly to everyone. I just know I have to be like that, because we're probably never going to talk about it, so I need to show him it's done through actions.

It's an amazing feeling when the rose glasses drop off, feels like you are finally not under the spells control.

That's brilliant @LizaMinnellisFurCoat

Well done @LizaMinnellisFurCoat !!

Well done everyone who is doing great, meanwhile I’m an idiot & have messaged twice this week….only to be left on unread. Really don’t know what’s wrong with me, I do actually have a lovely husband & life.
its not even a bloody crush….
Oh well never mind, it actually doesn’t even bother me, was just checking in as you would with friend, silly silly man!! He is divorced, has no friends , permanently skint . I used to say I’m not one of your app women just your mate 🤣

@liveinthesticks I’m not doing great either. Not messaged him but cannot stop thinking about him, what he might be doing, why he never initiates contact….argh. My relationship is shit & partner is not attentive plus just a grumpy git 😂
I need to stop thinking about my crush but I can’t 😭

@liveinthesticks don’t worry but would you like to share anything to help? I’ve had fleeting moments but nothing else.

Argh! I messaged him 😖I am so weak. And cant even blame alcohol as was sober at the time! Something we always laughed about happened so I messaged him to tell him, then instantly regretted it after I pressed 'send' 😫

@SionnNess are you OP again with name change? You know what it was a blip. It’s fine. Did he reply?

Would you not consider deleting the phone number of the person you’re trying not to contact? Back up WhatsApp and delete any archived contact lists etc

No I'm not the OP. Yes, he did reply. Give him his due, he always replies, but the fact that I ALWAYS instigate the messages means he's not into me, I know. But then when I do message, he gets all flirty again. 😫And you know what, it gives me a confidence boost for a bit. I really should delete his number, I know....

@namechangeforthis5 I'm the OP.

Why are some days so hard.

Right ok. Sorry for getting confused. I think loads of us are going through such similar situations. So this was me for about two years. First year he kept chasing me then we fell out and he blocked me for months. Then a lot of me starting and his getting flirty like your situation. All it does is keep resurrecting the cycle and makes it worse. Honestly

Sorry like I say a lot of our situations are similar. What’s going on today? I’m ok but did wonder about him this morning. Two weeks today.

Nothing is going on. Just some days I wake up and it's all over me. I guess I really was genuinely in love with him and it's taking a long long long time for those feelings to fade away.

Some days are better than others; I've no idea why today sucks but it does. I have a really long commute and the days that start with a 2 hour train journey really leave me too much thinking time.

I won't do anything about it. Thank god for being able to say it here.

Sorry @IDontFeelItAnymore. It sounds really tough. Feel free to message me if you like or write it here. Anything that helps.

Thanks @namechangeforthis5

Trust me I know it's really hard but it's just continuing the cycle and it's you who gets hurt.. I've been there but I stopped and it was extremely hard to do. I still think of him but I know he's bad for me. Is the confidence boost really worth it? I also enjoyed the boost I'd get but soon realised it wasn't real and I deserved better.

I'm tempted to unblock as he's trying to get my attention. It's been 2 weeks. I always calm down after 2 weeks. And it will feel good for a night or few of chatting.
But I know the cycle will start again and something will upset me and I'll shoot venom at him and I don't like being like that. I need to remember it goes like this every time. Because he is who he is.
So I will keep the block on. Longest we haven't chatted is 6 weeks, I want to beat that and then carry on.

Thanks @Kat888 I know, you are right. He's just a distraction from all the other shit going on in my life. That's why I keep clinging on to it. But on the plus side, I dont think about him as much as I used to, I am not constantly checking my phone, and I dont check to see if he is online anymore. Slowly but surely, I am getting there. One day, in the near future, I may not think about him at all...