Anybody else desperately trying not to contact a guy?

[FuckSakeGetAGrip]

I am, and it's honest to god wrecking me.

Please tell me someone else is struggling too.

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine...

I’ve been struggling with this alone feeling like an awful person as I actually hate the idea of affairs and lies but struggled to reconcile that with well we haven’t seen each other in nearly five years, nothing physical happened and he feels like one of my best friends so I’m pleased I found all of you as I do need to let go and this is helping

Just read a quote that said 'if they leave you hungry, you leave them starving'.

This!! This is what I will think every day I don't contact him. Life is calmer without all the bullshit.

Love that.

Joining the club. Came onto Mumsnet searching for others in a similar boat as I'm going out my mind. It's been one month and I'd love to say it gets easier, but it's harder than ever. I'm doing everything I can to find distractions, things that would usually bring me joy, have a busy social life and so on, but the emptiness is a default I can't shake. Does it get easier? When does this pass?

In my case it was a long-term friendship that became incredibly intense and in another world would have blossomed into something beautiful. I've stopped it as I'm married (he isn't) with kids and don't want to ruin their lives.

The pain feels like justified punishment, but it's bloody hard! Happy to support anyone going through the same.

I'll join. Trying to end a situation that has gone on way longer than it should. It's addictive, it's wrong, it needs to stop. It's such a help to know there are others in similar situations. We can do this - leave them starving!

It's addictive, it's wrong and it needs to stop! Yes, yes and yes!!
Honestly everyone, for those of you who have stopped whatever is going on (or he has) and you are trying to stop contact I have found this a really helpful thing to do - I write out what I want to text him in my notes app, and just keep it as a note - sometimes I even reply to myself underneath in the way that I think he would reply, then carry on a whole conversation!! I know I sound unhinged but it's better than breaking the no-contact rule!
Oh and definitely don't drink because if you're like me then you will think it's definitely a good idea to send just that one message 😆

That’s a good idea. Make sure no one can find it though.

That's what the journal iPhone app is for...locked by Face ID.

I woke up this morning and it was ages before I thought about him. Wondering if he’s ok though. Came here for solidarity

Needed this thread. For the last 4 months I've fancied a work colleague. He works in my team but we don't work on projects together. Lots of WFH so on average I see him every 3 weeks if he is in the office. He does brighten my day when I see him. Everytime I see him I feel I go bright red. I'm early 40s and he is same age. We are both in relationships.

We will have a chat with each other if we see each other in passing at work just about how our jobs are. Last Friday I arrived in the works car park and he arrived slightly before me and was walking ahead of me. I could have called him and we could have walked together but I didn't. I waited in my car and then walked a different way. I felt I protected myself in a way that day and I need to get over this crush. I've written down all the bad things about him. I love my job and I will stay until I retire and I don't want this to ruin my job. There are problems at home and I feel this crush is telling me to deal with home life.

I feel for everyone who are in deeper than me. I do understand that no contact helps. Loads of support here...

I think I'm done with him. He did a selfish immature thing (nothing massive) and it made me see him in a different light. If nothing else, he's not the good friend I thought he was.

So...that's that.

I’ve been done with mine a million times. He’s made me cry countless times yet I fall for the charm again and again. The last time he made a comment which was arsey so not contacted him since

Do not find yourself in a social situation with him and don’t swap numbers with him

@StarBug81 if this thread tells you anything, it's stop before feelings get entrenched. Not kidding when I say my mental health has been absolutely fucked by it. For nothing.

Can I join please?

I need to stop answering his calls, we agreed no contact, I stick to my end of the deal, he doesn't, but I answer every single call and text 😳

Completely agree. I was so naive when this started and every time I’ve challenged his behaviour it’s my fault. He never apologises unless it’s clear it’s him. He’s nice sometimes. It just confuses me all the time. I don’t know how I’ve managed to keep it to myself all this time. He’s gone quiet now anyway

Ok. I'll start again tomorrow.

So annoyed at myself.

☹️

Visit the “living with limerence “ website for support

@Hugosmaid what’s a peddle stool?

A pedestal I think 😁

What happened?

Meh, I messaged him just a daft thing we would have shared before, and he didn't reply. It's nothing. It's fine. It just shows me it's time to move on.

More reasons to move on that reasons not to. Just sometimes texting him is a reflex: we went from easily texting 50 times a day to...crickets pretty quickly.

I'll learn better after today.

Next time you want to text him feel free to PM me instead. I’m starting to wonder if my TO is wondering if I’m ok

Oh and don’t be annoyed at yourself. I’ve done it many times

Thanks. There's a lot of memories coming up on my phone this week, and it just hurts me that they don't matter to him. They were really pivotal and important times in my life, and he was there for them, and it doesn't matter to him now.

God. I need to get the fuck over it.