Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

Stay strong, end this cycle. Block him.

Im guessing he’ll want to see you when you get back to ‘return your belongings’ and he’ll cry and wail and be pathetic in his apologies.

Dont give him that opportunity. You need to take control and cut him out completely. This can be the last time he ever hurts you.

Just re-read your posts OP, and realised I had misread them. I thought he was saying he would drop the items off at your house before you came back from your holiday.

Please don't go back to him and block him so he can't contact you. Google why narcissists always try and spoil special occasions, it will really resonate. Don't spend your life with someone who hates you and wants bad things for you. Enjoy your holiday.

What are you doing> you don’t even live with this bloke, and he’s completely deranged and abusive. Bin him off. Block. Enjoy your holiday.

and when back examine why you stayed with someone like this and took it.

We're all here holding your hand! Best £90 you will ever spend, like others I ended up doing 20 years. I had physical abuse as well,total coercive control, although I didn't know what that was. (Got pregnant at 18 in the 60s,you got married!) Enjoy that holiday,it's the perfect re-set button!

Congratulations op, 🥂 your new life starts here.

Have an amazing holiday, block his number so that he doesn’t try to ruin it with horrible manipulative messages.
He is a shit for putting extra expense on you and trying to sabotage your holiday.
You are well rid of him.

See that £90 you spent as an investment in your life. Best money ever spent!

And I echo calls to block him.

What a tiresome selfish arsehole.
Enjoy your trip. Don't engage with his nonsense anymore.
Get your stuff back and tell him you're done. Life is too short for this bollocks..

I had one of those: birthdays, Christmases (once kicked off when I was serving Christmas dinner for twelve because I asked -nicely - for him to help plate up the vegetables), holidays, nights out, you name it, he ruined it. They don't change, they really don't.

It's a fascinating study if it wasn't your life: they are so identical, it's almost like they've read the same abusers' manual. The messaging to say they didn't mean it, the unsubtle attempt to suggest you're over-reacting (I don't know why you went to the airport in an Uber, I was going to take you), there'll also be the gaslighting further down the line (I was angry because of... some invented issue about you, and nothing related to the actual situation), the declarations of love. But those declarations of love mean nothing. People show you who they are by their actions. Talk is cheap. And he's showing you that he's a self-absorbed, selfish, uncaring arsehole. Don't even bother to work out why he's like that: that's his problem to resolve, not yours.

This is your sliding doors moment. If you stay in this relationship, he'll continue to be this way, except eventually he'll be ruining your children's special events too. Seriously you deserve better. He has a whole banner of red flags.

Have a wonderful holiday. And spend as little time as possible thinking about him.

Have a fabulous holiday, take this as day one of your fantastic fuckwit-free life!

Well said. I'm so sorry @Nannyfannybanny, but using your terrible experience to help others is Mumsnet at it's finest 💐

I feel your pain what an absolute loony I mean that. These sort of people are absolutely hideous and it’s the push pull. He’s shown you what he is over and over so you are believing words over actions.

This is financial emotional mental physical etc cut all contact and block forget the clothing just forget it

Enjoy your holiday and use it as a celebration of being free at last.

He sounds insecure, jealous and utterly self absorbed.

I wouldn’t maintain contact about your things, they can be replaced and any contact you keep will give him an opening.

I know it probably hurts to end it but that will pass and you’ll be better off in the long run. Bin him off!

OP, that man is an abusive idiot. Go on your holiday, enjoy it, and when you get back don’t ever see that idiot again.

I grew up in this environment. DM kept going back even when it got to ridiculous levels like this. Always a drama, always saying she’d leave him and always going back. For the sake of yourself and your kids please let this be the final straw and LTB.

Enjoy your holiday op.
i wouldn’t even bother about the bag of stuff at his. Write it off and have a clean break or he’ll use it as an excuse to reel you back in.

So don't be. Your choice.

Ignore him and block him! Never see him again. He is a selfish, manipulative narcissist.

Op

you would be incredibly foolish to return to this pathetic mam child who is clearly jealous, insecure and trying to control you.

whilst he is in a sorry state do text him and say if he was that sorry he can begin by reimbursing you your Uber fee.

Then block, forget your clothes!

I had one of these pricks.

Every time I went away to visit family or just out for an evening with friends he would start up and he'd make my time away so stressful I'd rush back.

One time when I was away for 6 nights he told me he hadn't fed the dog all week and the dog would be dead by the time I got back. I was absolutely distraught.

OP please use this opportunity to ditch this horrible man. He will only get worse and worse to the point your life becomes so small you never do anything fun or interesting for fear of him ruining it.

Have a wonderful holiday. You're free!

I like @isthismylifenow suggestion here as an good alternative to donate the rest of your belongings to a charity shop too..

I hope you're now on the plane with your friend and having a rest. Enjoy your holiday and block and ignore this abuser.

Enjoy your holidays. Don't go back with him.