Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

Adrenaline crash will be contributing to your mood, OP. I think what you need tonight is a distraction. Tub of ice cream, some lighthearted telly and trying not to think about it at all. You aren't going to answer the question of why you've ended up with two abusers in a row tonight, and don't let it overshadow the fact that you got out.

Stay strong op. You can do this.

It will get better I promise. Spend some time being single, concentrating on working on your self and healing, fill your life with connections with friends and family and experiences, and you can break the cycle now and have a great future.

Keep going OP you are doing great, you are brave and strong to get away.

I hope you feel a bit brighter soon, OP. Keep vigilant, this is probably not the end.

Thank you, I will create a new thread once it approaches that limit

Thank you, I’ve had a massive pizza and glass of wine. It was very much needed.

I think the reality of the situation has hit me.

Please please don’t go back to this abusive man. You are stronger than this, you deserve better.

Totally understandable to feel low. At one point I expect you were imagining your future life together, and now you're having to accept that he is not the person he pretended to be, and in fact represents a possible threat to your safety. That's a huge change to take on board. You are allowed to grieve for what you thought you had. Give yourself some time to process everything. You will find a way forward. It sounds like you've got a good friend at least.

We will keep supporting you. You can see there lots of ladies here who’ve been through shitty abusive relationships. Me included!

So plenty of us who will continue to help you through this, if you want that support 💐💐

You’ve done so well and come so far. It’s going to make you feel low right now. You’ve been mega stressed and operating on adrenaline and your fight or flight response. So now you’re back from holiday, there’s the low of being back and that reality of what you’ve been dealing with. You’re emotionally exhausted.

Try and get plenty of sleep and eat well, so that you’re giving your body the energy it needs, so you don’t let the stress of it all make you ill xx

(I believe it’s 1000 posts when the thread stops)

Sorry if it's already been covered but how long have you been with him?

She mentioned previously - eight months. Strange question?

Apologies @Random100 if this has already been suggested, but you could look to get a non-molestation order out against him.

I just wanted to say you are really brave and please please don't ever go back to him. I used to live next door to a man exactly like this (to the extent I even wondered if it was him) and I had to have counselling for PTSD so I can only imagine how it is affecting you. You sound lovely and this isn't your fault. Nor is it your fault that you have been in horrible relationships before. Please get all the help out there. You deserve to be free of all this vileness.

Glad you enjoyed your pizza, and sorry its hit you, the reality of it all.

It's been horrid for you, but just think, if he hadn't showed his true colours and your relationship went on, you would have been tied to him, perhaps with a flat or even a baby down the line, and it would have been so much harder to split then.

So the time to chill, and say thank fuck I saw what he was like.

Well done on getting this far xx

Yep, my first thought too

There can be an uncomfortable feeling of loss and grief which seems weird when you are fully aware you've escaped the clutches of a total abusive arsehole...

But its the loss of what you hoped for, what you thought you might have had, you're grieving that idea he painted of who he was, of what a relationship with him MIGHT have been like, and as much as your brain knows that wasn't real and never would have been... emotionally you still have to get through that.

Follow up that pizza with a gallon or three of icecream. This is just for now, not forever.

Well done, you’ve been really brave x

Yes me too, my 30th was ruined by my ex. All he was focusing on was having sex later.

He's trying to grind you down bit by bit until he has isolated you from all friends and family and he'll keep you as an obedient prisoner, too scared to go out in case he kicks off.

Have a great holiday, forget the clothes and trainers etc, block his number and never look back.

This is typical narcissist behaviour, so glad you've recognised that leaving him is necessary. He's now trying to hoover you back up again. Is it your house too? If so, don't leave the house but get a non molestation order to get him out legally and safely. If it's not also your house, just get away from him asap but safely, don't intend to worry you but narcissists/abusers become more dangerous when you're just about to get away, so make sure people are looking out for you and check your phone for location tracking, etc.

Sending you lots of hugs and love x

This is how they work. Make you feel worthless and so low when you're without them. So you don't realise you're worth so much more.

Fucksake, will people at least read the OP's posts before coming here and saying stuff that is now totally irrelevant. It's just filled the thread up!

OP has been and returned from holiday. She is staying with a friend. She has reported to police. He has returned her stuff via a mutual friend. OP is currently struggling with the situation.

OP, I hope you're ok and the police are doing their job!