Agree if possible doing in person is great, I did it in person and the peer support is so important, did it more than once, in fact, just kept along going . All ages of women, many ethnic groups, many backgrounds, some were professional well off women, and from jobs where you'd not imagine they would be vulnerable, eg the police, it's not you, it's them. @Random100 do consider doing it.
Learned so much from it. How you get sucked in, because if they started off horrible you'd not be taken in, how often they start off love bombing, getting you hooked, getting you to feel sorry for them, how they cut you off from friends and family, the effects on any children, and how actually pregnancy and childbirth are often times when it starts even if things had seemed ok before, how important safety is when planning to leave as again abuse ramps up at those times. Some of the stories some of the women told will stay with me, they were that bad, but also women recognised that bad as physical abuse was, often the non physical stuff was as bad if not worse, which many do not understand ' 'but he never hit you' sort of stuff. You can show a bruise or a broken bone to the police or a doctor but not a broken spirit
with OP spoiling special events, stopping you from going to see friends, family, to events are part of abuse, or if he has to go along too, he will spoil it for you, and take it out on you that he has to go, they spoil holidays, it#'s a way to control you, they hate the spotlight being on someone else They know you want to go and being an arse about you going is a way of abusing and controlling
If you could sit in on a course I'm sure you'd find it really helpful. What I found really helpful going along more than once was to be able to see deeper into gradations of abuse. Someone once asked me did he stop me wearing certain clothing he didn't like, [ think she had been on a course to identify abusive behaviour] and I said no, but when I came to think about it, he may not have said you're not wearing that, but he would make fun of some of my clothing choices, for example, being told others will think I'm dressing wrongly, and to avoid being made to feel bad about what I'm wearing then for sure that did stop me wearing things. The disapproved of clothing was never anything extreme, no one else would have noticed anything untoward about it. Maybe an extra thing to ask would be something along the lines of did he ever comment unfavourably about your clothes, so you changed how you dressed
The threatening to do themselves in is also a way of controlling you, it gets them attention, if they go out and say I'm going to do x,y,z they are making sure you are thinking about them all the time, can't relax, can't go out, if you did that you'd be so uncaring. Looking back I should have asked for police help, he's gone out and is threatening to jump in front of a train. So many of the freedom women had experienced the abusers threatening to kill themselves.
I'm not in that long term relationship any more. If I ever experience anything like that again from anyone I know much better. Even if the threat is genuine, seeking help on their behalf could get the person the help they need, because people do actually go ahead with it.