Can someone give a handhold? Partner tried to ruin my trip

[Random100]

Partner has a habit of ruining things. Any special occasion he kicks off to try and spoil it. He’s very childish in nature, tantrums a lot etc etc. I know I need to leave him.

I have been staying at his for a few days so has a few belongings at his. I’m off on holiday this morning with a friend and he’s been kicking off in the lead up to it. He has said multiple times he would take me to the airport, I paid for a tank full of fuel this evening as it’s double the distance that my house is from the airport.

He’s been making snide comments that I must hate him this evening. I went to bed early to try and get some sleep and he joined me not long after. All of a sudden he launched out of bed, screamed at me that I was making him physically uncomfortable in bed and stormed off, shouting his head off. I was in tears at this point.

He has just declared I must go to the airport by myself now and that he’s not taking me. He wants my belongings out the house too.

Sat in tears looking at an Uber costing me 90 quid.

He's not your partner anyway, he's just your boyfriend. You don't live together, haven't got any parts of your life combined. You know, in partnership. So as he's just a boyfriend, dump like you would any other.

Perfect opportunity to escape him. See this as a blessing and he started the ride. Block him. Say good bye to the few things you left and don’t see this nut job ever again.

Guessing this suicide attempt involved a reallllllllllly long-acting poison, then, seeing as he still seems to be with us.

If he wasn't so dangerous, it would almost be funny the way he's so utterly deluded and full of sh1t.

Your priority is keeping yourself safe. You have zero responsibility for him - he chooses to do all these things.

And don't ever be hard on yourself for not seeing it/acting sooner. How can a normal person be expected to know that someone they meet is actually a monster?

I was in a relationship like this for years. So many occasions ruined, so many times spent feeling upset and stressed.
Id never do it again. Save yourself the bother.

Run. I would do a claire’s law on him… he sounds insane.

So glad to hear you are well shot of him, OP. Good result getting your stuff back via your friend. I would double check there's no airtags or anything hidden in the items, so he can track you. Sounds paranoid, but he might just be the type...
Take care

That was my first thought 😂

Google Narcissistic Personality Disorder… they love to spoil anything planned!! And maybe get someone to collect your belongings before u come back!

do not go back.

someone once told me something like this:
’ with men like this , they apologise when they get so far and make promises that things will be better. In fact, your forgiveness and going back isn’t seen as that, it is seen as you giving him permission to continue with his awful behaviour’.

i don’t know both sides of the story, but that fact that he ruins days out (I’m guessing when other people are involved and around) says to me that perhaps he is trying to isolate you .

Exactly, and you CAN see the OP posts by filtering! <harrumph>

don’t even get me started on those who quote the OP’s first/opening post…

Just want to say, you’re doing really well @Random100!

Stay strong and stand your ground!

As PP’s have said he may try to get around you still, but you can truly see him for what he really is now. So stick to your guns! 💐

Feeling so so low tonight about it all

That's understandable now you've returned from the high of a holiday away from the dickhead. Are you with your friend? Can you have a nice glass of something, watch a film, chat, anything calming really to distract.

I’m a good person and I always seem to end up with complete idiots who use and abuse me. I’m struggling with it all.

Yes I’m still at friends

It's probably emotional burnout. You have carried so much stress in the relationship with this guy and now that's over you deflate a bit. It's like your body doesn't have to be in self protection mode anymore so your defence mechanism comes down. Try to get some rest and take care of yourself, you have done so well to keep yourself safe.

Oh lovely. You will feel a bit meh. It's rubbish. It's the whole adrenaline wearing off, the sadness that it wasn't what you expected, that you've picked a wrong un (when actually he played nice to begin with). It's fine to have a good old cry about it all and think how shit it is.

That's perfectly understandable @Random100 you have invested a lot of time in him and it is bound to hurt that you have now recognised you have been abused. It will be raw for a while. Please, as someone who has survived an abusive relationship, understand you can be strong and will get over it. xxxx

OP you are not to blame for any of this - please always remember that. You have got out of this situation. Now is your chance to focus on YOU: what you want, what you need, what you truly deserve and don’t settle for anything less than that.

OP it's not your fault. sadly a lot of people like this out there. take some time for yourself and do things you love. you've been through a lot xxx

I know so many women who picked wrong uns. It’s always the nicest ones too and these types are top class liars and don’t show their true colours initially. Don’t feel down, you are beautiful!

OP, sorry to hear you're feeling down. You're doing brilliantly though. Do not let the bastard grind you down. Rooting for you and just to say you have a bright and happy future ahead now that this arsehole is out of your life xx

Not sure if he’s trying to play the nice guy act to reel me back in! I have a feeling he knows the threats aren’t working so is now trying to play nice.

This is exactly what he’s doing, please don’t fall for it.

He will also try other tactics too so it’s best to not have any contact at all, as it’s too easy to fall back into that trap.

You are amazing OP and although what you’re going through is hard, it is nothing compared to staying with an abusive twat like him.

You will have inspired other women reading this that they too can leave an abusive relationship.

This will be an emotional roller coaster of a time. You might experience some post trauma reactions. It would be completely understandable. Look after your body as well as you can do your heart and mind can heal. Eat regularly. Keep hydrated. Talk when you need to. Cry when you need to. Watch crap TV when you need a distraction. Be kind to yourself.

Just so you know OP, I believe when a thread gets to 40 pages it won’t let anyone else comment anymore.

So if it gets close to that and you still want to update the thread, then it might be an idea to start a 2nd thread ❤️

Of course you're sad @Random100 , you've been manipulated to put him first and now you can see he's not the man you thought he was, all that time and caring for nothing. It's not wasted though, if you keep the signs in mind you won't fall for another man like him. Let yourself be sad for a while, but now you've seen the light there will be better times for you