I’m a British female going abroad with fiance and will marry him Islamically- anything I need to consider?

[Greyrabbit24]

My fiance and I are in our 20s. We are planning a visit abroad to his home country, which is Arab. We’ll be spending a day in his family’s home before travelling around the country on our own.

My fiance is not religious but his family is. We will be having a nikah, the Islamic wedding, it will be a small family thing where the imam comes to the home to give a short ceremony.

My fiance is not religious at all and this is more of a thing done to please his family.

We will be arriving late at their home so they’ve said it’s ok if we sleep together for this night as it’s one night before the nikah. I’m also aware that I’ll have to be very covered and my fiance suggested I cover my hair during the ceremony.

Just wondered if anyone had any experience with this? I’m expecting it to be a small easy thing- is there anything else worth considering? I want to be respectful to them but at the same time I don’t want to lose myself trying to please them. Thanks all!

Ah yes when you can’t win an argument or a debate with logic, facts and a sound understanding of the religion and culture you’re degrading, resort to insults. You must be really smart

Hmmm this is all a bit strange. When did Iran come into a of this , and why does Iran somehow represent all muslim countries/muslims.

Seems a little too much.

I don't agree that the lady who made this post should have a nikkah or even consider marrying her fiance. This is for the reasons i have mentioned.

It would have been better had she considered marrying a religious/practising muslim man who stayed true to himself and was not concerned about his family or others opinion.

I am or I am being realistic.

Like I said from lived experience, being engaged to a man who wasn’t a practising Muslim until I met his parents..

I would never advocate for a women in their early twenties to go off and do a potentially legally binding ceremony in another country where she doesn’t know her rights, and will quite probably have less rights than she is used to.

What if it’s a country where you need written permission to leave from your husband (and in extension the husbands family) and they call the airport and say no.

The OP is taking an enormous risk doing this, it’s nearly only Muslim countries that enforce these kinds of rules, if she was having a Catholic ceremony, that means nothing to her, in Europe, it’s different because she still has her rights.

It’s not racist, just realistic to point out how fucking risky this is. There is precedent for it and I still stand by the fact - I am not doing anything to appease anyone, so even the Catholic ceremony in Europe - I would say NO

But it is racist to say because you were engaged to Muslim man who might not have been very nice (sorry don’t know if that’s what you’re implying) that the same will happen to the OP because he’s Muslim.

plus from her OP she will be there just for the wedding and then she’ll be coming back to the Uk. So the laws that iran, qatar, or Tunisia have very limited impact

Yeah Im sorry but you are completely wrong and is clearly an islamaphobe. So as a muslim women i wouldn't feel safe in a muslim country. Hmmm i have never heard that from any of my muslim female friends or relatives. You clearly have watched a few documentries on Iran and feel like you somehow know all about muslim women and their rights/safety etc.

Please stop, you have no idea and have probably never even met a single muslim woman in your entire life but feel you can somehow speak for us!!!!

^this

Yes i agree with this poster. It would have been better if he was a practising muslim that way you would know where he stands with most things. It would most likely not care to please his family and lie to them as this is also against the religion

Erm Iran is well documented to have one of the lowest women’s rights in the world.
Amd yes I have watched a few documentaries and met many Muslim women.

I grew up near Bradford, and almost married a Muslim man, he had 5 sisters and a mother… 🙄

He was a lovely man, as was his family. But as an atheist, our lives where completely incompatible, especially with pressure from his family, who wanted me to just do things to save face, for the family name. Including pretending to be a Muslim to some family members etc.

I said NO. I won’t live a lie. So we separated.

Cool story but you still don’t speak for Muslim women because you’ve known 6 🙄

Omg this is crazy. How has MN not taken down your post.

Why on earth would she need a written permission to leave the country. You really have watched a few too many documentries on Iran and have somehow confused Iran for the numerous muslims countries in this world.

This post is ridiculous and at this rate you are making things up, its not coming across great. If there are a few extreme and radical laws in Poland would you discourage anyone coming to the UK to marry someone????

I guess probably not. Stop painting all muslim countries under the same brush and stop being soo ignorant!!!

I don’t no, you are correct. I think you also don’t speak for all Muslim women either.

its actually really ignorant to suggest I haven’t met a Muslim woman, or lived in neighbourhoods where Muslims where the majority not the minority.

I have a very good understanding of Islam, I have been brought up surrounded by practising Muslims, living in the areas of the north I have.

it’s not the religion, it’s the cultural differences that this young woman might have a rude awakening to. That may see her with lower rights, than what she is used to. Unfortunately those cultural differences are influenced by an interpretation of Islam. Any moderate Muslim I know could understand this.

But please, keep calling me a racist and Islamophobe. And ignore some of the awful woman’s rights that are compromised due to cultural interpretations of Islam, see Iran 🙄🙄🙄

With respect though, you grew up in Bradford and the majority Muslim community there is Pakistani or south Asian in general. So not arab and the culture is incredibly different, literally chalk and cheese.

again iran and the women of iran… NOT ARAB

but as a Muslim women, I think I’ve got a heck of a lot more authority to speak in the issues in my community than you do.

i never suggested you know no Muslims, you stated you know 6, your ex’s sisters and his mum.

Thanks for the reply. Your natural assumption that Christian marriages are superior to all others tells me all I need to know really.

Well I think we agree then.

I would really like to know if the Ops does actually know if her partner is Arab, v south Asian, as clearly within your post you have said they are different.

I have visited many Muslim countries, Turkey, Tunisia, Egypt, Pakistan, and states like Dubai, Abu Dhabi to name a few. Other than Dubai I would not like to be a woman alone there after dark.

Although I had an interesting experience in Dubai at the markets, when a massive gust of wind blew my massive sun hat off, and my shawl and cardigan off my shoulders. I was immediately circled by men grabbing at me, and my partner had to fight a crowd to get me onto a boat (where the lovely boat driver fished my hat and shawl out of the water.) I was wearing a full length white and pink sundress, but it had some cleavage I was covering up with said shawl and 3/4s of my arm was on show, hence the cardigan. If the Op thinks she could experience anything less then I feel sorry for her.

sorry but that story is utter bollocks.

in no way did men in the uae circle you and start grabbing you because your shawl fell off so much so your partner had to fight them off. There are tourists everywhere many scantily clad.

and re walking around after dark alone, but I don’t feel comfortable in cardiff doing that or Manchester or actually f’ing anywhere.

Honestly it’s getting a bit embarrassing how you are trying to justify your disdain for Muslims

It was almost ten years ago if that helps? And yes it did happen. I am not that creative to make this shit up!

if I remember correctly the guy on the boat called over seeing us both distressed!

When I got back to the apartment I was staying in and told my family (who live out there) what happened they said it was very common.

They did say however, it was the poorer, mainly construction workers, who hung around the markets from none Arab countries who were the culprits. If that helps.

This. Always keep financial and practical routes open so you can get out if you need to. Don’t lose touch with your family and friends. Think. Hard. Any doubts, listen to them.

So not indicative of arab culture!!!!!

I would think very carefully about this ceremony and its important not to underestimate possible future implications, especially if you have children. As far as I am aware ,if you decide to live in an Islamic country you will have no rights over decisions involving your children and possibly a lot less freedom than you do at the minute. I'm not saying you shouldn't marry him, just educate yourself about everything involved first

I have to say your ignorance of shariah law is unfortunately matched by 99% of the population
enjoy your islamophobic beliefs... or you could actually learn something about other cultures before spouting nonsense on public forums

"My fiance is not religious at all and this is more of a thing done to please his family."

Sigh. This has so many red flags.

I believe all religion to be a farce, but as long as you don't try to impose your beliefs on me, I don't care. They are imposing their religion on you. However you want to phrase that is on you. You better believe that your fiance is religious. You just don't know it yet, and he is correctly assuming that you won't see it nor call him out.(another red flag.) You are going to take part in a religious transaction to please the religious nonsense of his family.

You also said you are lying to your family. You know already know why even if you won't admit it to yourself. Your family will protect you if you tell them. At least one member of your family already suspects your fiance's motive, which is why you won't tell them.

Anyone with any sense would run a mile from this situation. If you are in any way fearful(there are many forms of intimidation), there are people you can talk to. Your instincts are already telling you this. Do not ignore your gut. Once religion, any religion, is involved reason goes out the window.

Hi all thanks for the replies. My fiance explained that to be married in his country, you must have a religious and legal part. This is just the religious part, and again it is solely for his family’s blessing

Would you like to buy a bridge. One previous owner. A leprechaun who used it once a week to go to church.