Ex getting married, our baby is 7 months

[Bunny44]

Help! I feel so sad. I just found out my ex is getting married next week and I feel really down about it.

For context Jan last year he was talking about us getting married and having a family together. In fact I was already pregnant but didn't know but I thought everything was falling into place. We'd both always wanted children.

Turned out he was still in contact with an ex and he broke up with me a few months later to get back to her. They got matching tattoos and got engaged immediately. He moved to another country with her and he's never met his son, who is 7 months, although we're in contact and he claims he loves him.

I guess I just feel like I've been stitched up. He sold me this dream and I really wanted and had waited to have a family unit with the right person.

I love my son so much but my ex has left me in a situation where I couldn't date or meet anyone else (well initially anyway) while he swans off and does it all with someone else. I know he's a d* but I can't help feel sad and upset at what was supposed to be and isn't.

What can you do now other than trying to make sure any other kids you have, have a decent father.

It's worth trying hard to address all the issues you mentioned in your approach to previous relationships.

Just thought I'd give an update here in case anyone remembers or still cares! This guy has absolutely shown his colours and confirmed I dodged a bullet.

The high level summary is that I took my son to meet his dad recently and when I did, although the trip went well overall and my son and his dad seemed to really bond which was great, the guy kept looking at me (lingeringly) even though his wife was there. Since we got back it gradually ramped up to him secretly sending me explicit messages about how much he wanted to kiss me and much more when I visited and wants me to come back.

I am under no illusion now that none of us are or were special to this guy. He is married to her because she's essentially a domestic servant to him, but I know I'm not the only girl he'll be sending these sorts of messages to.

I felt sorry for his wife because she was obviously very insecure and jealous when I met her, and it must be exhausting to live your life like that (always worrying how to stop your partner from inevitably cheating).

Personally since I last wrote I feel much happier and confident in myself and have a new job which I love. My son is a very happy lovely boy. I've realised that getting married and being a 'family unit' isn't the be all and end all and there's always so much behind closed doors.

I do refer back to this thread sometimes and have found it helpful to re-read when I felt unhappy again about it all. I'm particularly grateful to @Xenoi24 for all the thoughtful and helpful input.

I'm glad you are getting on with life and enjoying it.