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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

i think im pregnant and its not dp's baby :(

166 replies

imintrouble · 31/03/2008 17:05

yep i know im a terrible person but without sounding like im making excuses i was very drunk and he gave me cocaine (never took the stuff before in my life and never will again) and cannibis. it happened 3 times in one night he didnt use anything and didnt pull out. i love my dp and this would break us as well as break his heart. feel free to shout at me i deserve it. but ive had a lot of discharge, tender breasts and headaches. same as my other 3 pregnancys.

OP posts:

KiloFoxtrotCharlie · 31/03/2008 17:13

Are you going to discuss your options with a real person?

mosschops30 · 31/03/2008 17:14

IIT sorry for the situation youre in. I cant imagine how difficult it is. Try not to beat yourself up, we all make mistakes and everyone is human.
Was it a one-off? Do you love your dp and want to stay with him? Do you want this baby?

So many questions for you to answer and I'm sure someone with more experience will be along to give you some better advice

poshwellies · 31/03/2008 17:17

Firstly do a test before jumping to any conclusions

mummybrains · 31/03/2008 17:18

Not going to shout at you at all - been there myself - get to your GP and talk it through now. xx

Original poster

imintrouble · 31/03/2008 17:18

im not sure who to talk to. it was the first and last time ive ever cheated on him i do love him and i dont want the baby.

OP posts:

lemonstartree · 31/03/2008 17:20

go to your GP, you need to discuss your options. Does you dp know that there is any possibility of this ?

Original poster

imintrouble · 31/03/2008 17:21

i know i shouldnt jump to conclusions. i just cant help worrying. im ashamed to tell my doctor.

OP posts:

mummybrains · 31/03/2008 17:22

Just go to your GP - if you don't want to risk doing a test at home. Presumably it would have been enough time for the test to work?

meemar · 31/03/2008 17:23

you don't have to go to your own gp. Is there a family planning clinic you can go to?

lemonstartree · 31/03/2008 17:23

your doctor will, I promise you, have heard this and a hundred much worse things before. S/he will not judge you and will respect your confidentiality. you need to discuss the options with someone impartial, you alos need to consider whether you need checking out for STD etc.
are you SURE this cannot be you r dps child?

mummybrains · 31/03/2008 17:23

They have heard it all - and will not judge you.

newmummy27 · 31/03/2008 17:28

when did you have sex with this man? just wondering if it is too early to get a pregnancy test? you could always go to a public loo to do it if you dont want to say anything at the moment

KiloFoxtrotCharlie · 31/03/2008 17:31

The most disingenuous thing to do is ignore the potential pregnancy because of your fear or shame. The situation itself will leave you with fewer options and as time goes by procedures become more traumatic for your and the feotus.

Simply Google your local family planning clinic, ring them and go A.S.A.P

Mumcentreplus · 31/03/2008 17:33

if you are worried you can go to your local health clinic...they will have a sexual health advisor/Family planning just call to book an appointment or check when they will be attending I think they do drop-ins too after a certain time

Alexa808 · 31/03/2008 17:33

IIT, sorry to hear about your predicament. I agree, see a GP, not necessarily your own, but any clinic or GP.

Go through all possible outcomes and reactions. How is your relation with your dp? Could you tell him?

How is the contact with the other person? IMO I wouldn't speak to the other guy ever again. If you want to keep your relationship with dp, then you need to stop all contact with that other man.

Are you absolutely sure it's not your dp's baby? 14-16 days after the first day of your period would be conception date.

Alexa808 · 31/03/2008 17:35

I agree with KFC, book yourself into a clinic ASAP. Don't waste any time. This needs immediate seeing to. Your options for abortions if you chose to go that way are far greater and healthier now than if you continue to wait.

Be strong!!

Original poster

imintrouble · 31/03/2008 19:40

thanks for all your advice. im sure i already know i am as ive been pregnant 3 times in the last 4 years will get a test on friday as thats the soonist ill have privacy then go from there ill let you know the outcome thanks for not judging me im really not like that ive no contact with the other man and it did happen around day 14 or 15 and dp always pulls out. wouldnt be able to talk to dp about it as it would be the end of us and i really dont want that.

OP posts:

Irisheyes78 · 31/03/2008 20:39

Well if it was around ovulation and your dp pulls out it has to be other fellas if you are preggers.

You need to decide what to do next and to get yourself checked out before you have sex with your dp for std's.

My God woman I will say this. 3 times in one night! You didn't feel two guilty eh!

Good luck.

fingerwoman · 31/03/2008 20:46

erm, just because your dp always pulls out doesn't mean you can't get pregnant.
small amounts of sperm can be released before ejaculation, so it isn't beyond the realms of possibility.

personally though I'd be more worried about the fact that you've got 3 children under 4 and you were out with another bloke taking cocaine and cannabis.

fingerwoman · 31/03/2008 20:46

sorry if that sounds harsh- but it isn't something many people would do- are there other issues?

3NAB · 31/03/2008 20:48

You might be expecting your DP's baby.

That is all I will say.

dizzydixies · 31/03/2008 20:50

agree with advice but also worried if you've had unprotected sex with someone 3 times you need to get yourself tested for STIs too

Original poster

imintrouble · 31/03/2008 22:40

i wasnt out with him i was out with my cousin and we went back to her house and he was there. i have never done anything like that and dont even go out very often as i am completely devoted to my family. i was very drunk when i took it and cant even remember very much. i think i was actually asleep for most of it so wasnt out having the time of my life with another man so the fact that it happened 3 times was nothing to do with not feeling guilty. the reason i even know about it is because he told my cousin the next day who he is very good friends with

OP posts:

Beetroot · 31/03/2008 22:42

could you terminate and keep this too yourslef if you were pregnant?

dizzydixies · 31/03/2008 22:44

she sounds like a right catch
am sorry you've found yourself in such a horrible situation but please for the sake of your health and that of your dp go and get checked out

hopefully you're wrong about being pg and nothing else will have come of it and you'll be able to draw a line under it

next time be careful who you're out with

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