i think im pregnant and its not dp's baby :(

[imintrouble]

yep i know im a terrible person but without sounding like im making excuses i was very drunk and he gave me cocaine (never took the stuff before in my life and never will again) and cannibis. it happened 3 times in one night he didnt use anything and didnt pull out. i love my dp and this would break us as well as break his heart. feel free to shout at me i deserve it. but ive had a lot of discharge, tender breasts and headaches. same as my other 3 pregnancys.

So sorry for you, but I have to say I am with beety too, get a termination and don't tell your DP and get some councilling to help you get over this.

Hmmmm lets keep a really huge secret from our partner. Brilliant.

notabanana - the problem with telling her dp is that she then hurts him and make it his problem. She has to take this and deal with it imo. Bloody hard and something I cannot imagine doing, but I think all this 'I have to tell you, It is only right you know is bollox - - 'here is my guilt and by telling you I can relieve my pain and guilt' is the outcome

What beetroot said.

I agree that telling just to assuage your own guilt is a bad thing.

But they are in a serious partnership with responsibility for 3 children. If the DP ever found out from someone else, it would ruin their relationship. He would never be able to trust her again.

She has damaged the relationship already. Her guilt will mean she is never the same with him. It must be for him to decide if he wants to make a go of it or end it, but he can only do this in knowledge of the facts.

I never said she should tell to ease the guilty feeling. She supposedly loves this man yet had sex with another and now intends to keep that from him and the fact that she is pregnant. It makes the relationship a lie and the fact that people have already been gossiping makes me feel like it won't be long before he finds out anyway.

Oh I agreee - nothing is nice about this situation.

If the shag is going to come out then I suggest she tells her partner about that soon.

It is only the pregnancy (only!!) I am suggesting she keep quiet about

I havent read all the way through, but where is the consent for what occurred????

You took drugs - oh I hate these as they contribute to so many things that should never occur But this does not mean you said yes to sex with this absolute creep!!!

Oh sweety, where was your cousin through this?

I do hope you're ok

Agree with Beetroot. But gravity is right. Where was the consent.

IM, if it cannot be kept totally quiet then she can admit to sexual assault under influence but definitely don't breathe a word about the pregnancy. It's nobody's business but hers.

Wishing you strength.

hi, ive already told dp about the pregnancy because im not sure i can go through with an abortion. it was my mistake and i should deal with the consequences. i cant tell dp about what i done because it would break his heart. so im a bit confused about what to do.

iit, it's a really difficult situation and while it's easy to offer "the right thing to do" advice, it's not so easy when you're in the real situation with real life unpredictable people so I don't blame you for telling your dp, it's a huge burden for one person to carry.

How is your dp towards you since you told him?

I really think you should try to get out and go for std testing if you can. If you do have anything it will affect your partner, yourself and your baby if you choose to keep it.

im going to get an appointment tomorrow and talk to my doctor.

Good on you. Sorry I don't mean to be preachy, I have no idea what I'd do, in your shoes! How are you feeling?

Yeah I am with you Jamesandthegiantbanana - I hav eno idea how I would handle the same situation if I was in your shoes imintrouble.

I am not going to be the person who tries to offer you advice as I don't know what I'd do.

I hope your ok mate

no i know i need to go to docs. im ok.