Deleted wassap

[Sleepless865]

Help needed. I'm sure my DH is up to something and I need proof.
I can see he's on wassap constantly when I'm at the office, like every 10 minutes.
Every he comes back I can see him in the car on his phone before he comes in so he's probably deleted messages because when I check his phone there's nothing from those times, if they are deleted then there's no getting then back right?

[ScottishShortie]

If he’s showing online constantly but there’s literally no messages then he’s either staring at a blank Wattsapp all day or he’s deleting messages. Is there literally no messages?

[ScottishShortie]

Ps if you’re really suspicious and he’s not that tech savvy you can hook his wattsap up to a pc eg your laptop then you can see the messages. Someone I know did this and caught their OH out but if he checked ‘connected devices’ at any point he’d see you’d done this so it’s a risk

[Sleepless865]

There are some but none for the times I noted he was online, if I mention it he may remove the 'last seen ' time.
For example I messaged him two hours ago and he's been online but not replying to me.
The was a message this morning at 7ish and I was tempted to look who it was from but then the red notification would disappear.
He was online at 645 this morning too...

[Sleepless865]

@ScottishShortie

Ps if you’re really suspicious and he’s not that tech savvy you can hook his wattsap up to a pc eg your laptop then you can see the messages. Someone I know did this and caught their OH out but if he checked ‘connected devices’ at any point he’d see you’d done this so it’s a risk

How do you do this? Surely he'd get a new device notification?

[Sleepless865]

Like he's been online about 25 times in the last 4 hours.

[Sleepless865]

I checked who he's most contacted a while ago but it won't pick up deleted messages

[theemmadilemma]

It's completely unreliable:

Last seen and online tells you if a contact is online and the last time they used WhatsApp. If a contact is online, they have WhatsApp open on their device and are connected to the Internet. However, this doesn’t mean the contact has read your message.

Same for FB Messenger. I know that for sure since my best friend messaged me worried I was online at 3am. I wasn't. I'd been asleep since 10.30 that night with my phone next to the bed.

[FrameMyDoorKnocker]

I have whatsapp open on a computer because it is easier to type with a keyboard. You will need his phone to do it though as you scan a QR code open on the website to link the phone. There are videos on how to do it, I don't have an iphone so can't talk you through it, just google but do it in incognito mode so you can't see the search.

The laptop/computer will show on his whatsapp under linked devices but it depends if he ever goes into that and if he doesn't use the web version then he won't open it (found under 3 dots at top in whatsapp messages) so won't be seen unless he is in that part.

This means that whatsapp is open on both his phone and whatever computer you are on so you can see what he is doing on whatsapp. I am sorry that it has come to this for you.

[bethatgirl]

This is exactly how I caught my ex husband out. Constantly on WhatsApp. Exactly the same thing, OP :(

[Franticbutterfly]

My DH was constantly on Telegram. Turns out he was constantly texting a woman. Go with your gut. I didn't. Wish I had.

[Sleepless865]

@bethatgirl

This is exactly how I caught my ex husband out. Constantly on WhatsApp. Exactly the same thing, OP :(

😭😭😭 how you get to see his messages?

[ScottishShortie]

So he doesn’t allow the message notifications to pop on his home screen either? That’s a little bit suspicious too. But could also be he finds them annoying. Just check later. If the 7am message is gone he’s deleting them

[Menopants]

If the back up is turned on you can retrieve messages I think

[ScottishShortie]

@Sleepless865

I checked who he's most contacted a while ago but it won't pick up deleted messages

Yes that’s correct. Can you go
through contacts see if there’s any you don’t recognise?

[ScottishShortie]

Also sorry it’s come to this - I had this a while back, husband deleting texts from a female colleague. All ‘innocent’ but the fact he kept deleting them spun me right out.

[Sleepless865]

Exactly why delete if innocent?
Is there a way I can keep as new so the red button stays on the desktop?

[Sleepless865]

@ScottishShortie

Yes that’s correct. Can you go
through contacts see if there’s any you don’t recognise?

No I once did this an accidentally called one!

[WhamBamThankU]

Sorry to say my ex did this too. Constantly online on WhatsApp but empty message threads when you clicked on them, and he certainly wasn't talking to me.

[Sleepless865]

@WhamBamThankU

Sorry to say my ex did this too. Constantly online on WhatsApp but empty message threads when you clicked on them, and he certainly wasn't talking to me.

This is what I'm finding so how in earth do I get to the bottom of it, I can only hope he'll slip up at some point.

[BodyKeepingScore]

Is there anything other than the fact that he's showing online on WhatsApp that's arousing your suspicions?

[Sleepless865]

What's pissing me off is he's online reading my messages but can't be bothered to reply to me. Yes he's talking to someone else.

[Sleepless865]

@BodyKeepingScore

Is there anything other than the fact that he's showing online on WhatsApp that's arousing your suspicions?

Yes, I found history he's looked at flats to rent ....I asked and he gave me an answer that didn't make sense.

[MMmomDD]

WhA often shows you ‘online’ when you are using anything on your phone - while WhA is open in the background.

I don’t know if you are prone to suspicions or how your marriage is otherwise.
If the marriage is generally happy - it may be that you need to speak to him.
If things are not well and this is a potential last straw - then you can get into his WhA and check his activity in real time.
He won’t get notified, he can only see it if he went into settings and checked.
But by then you’ll have your answer anyway.

It is, of course - a nuclear version as it’s hard to come back from that if you find nothing.
So - don't go there unless you are 99% sure its over.
Sometimes our suspicions really play tricks with our minds….

Before you do that - you could keep observing his behaviour. Check his locations. Check his photos - and especially Deleted folder.
And maybe - do talk to him????

But if you still want to check WhA - here is
how:
1 Get his phone and open WhA
2 type - Whatsup web logon in your browser search. It’ll direct you to the right link.
3 Go to Settings in WhA
4 Click ‘Link Device’
5 Scan the QR code

[ScottishShortie]

@Sleepless865

Yes, I found history he's looked at flats to rent ....I asked and he gave me an answer that didn't make sense.

Wtf? What did he say?

[BodyKeepingScore]

@Sleepless865 I wouldn't look too much into the looking at flats. I look at property in my area all the time and have no intention of moving or leaving my partner. I think your bigger issue here is that you simply don't trust him, for reasons known only to yourself. I regularly read messages and don't reply right away, especially if it not urgent. Messaging app "online status" is notoriously unreliable too and I've had my partner showing as being online at 11pm at night when he's lying fast asleep in bed beside my and I'm browsing Mumsnet, the only thing you can do is have an open and honest conversation without being accusatory. If you still don't believe his answer then the reality is you're in a relationship with a man you don't trust and who you think is lying to you and you'd be best off out of it.