Page 4 | Deleted wassap

Sleepless865 · 2024-04-17T10:40:07+00:00

Help needed. I'm sure my DH is up to something and I need proof. I can see he's on wassap constantly when I'm at the office, like every 10 minutes. Every he comes back I can see him in the car on his phone before he comes in so he's probably deleted messages because when I check his phone there's nothing from those times, if they are deleted then there's no getting then back right?

Original poster

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 15:08

So if I get a chance later I'll look at archived I'm not expecting anything because I know he deletes though.

OP posts:

Original poster

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 15:11

It's completely doing my head in.
He's online every 10 minutes or so, why else would be no online so much?
When we first got together he was like this with me too.

OP posts:

Princesspollyyy · 17/04/2024 15:13

I'd get a cheap burner phone and payg SIM. Send a text to this woman saying

Hi, this is (husbands first name), message me on this number from now on xx

Then see what she replies. You will know if something is going on by how she replies. If nothing is going on with her, it could just be put down to a wrong number and nothing to do with your husband (providing he doesn't have an unusual first name) x

bethatgirl · 17/04/2024 15:15

I never did get to see the messages. If it's an iPhone, go into settings then screen time. It'll show you exactly how much time he's spent on each app. Unless he's disabled it.

Original poster

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 15:16

bethatgirl · 17/04/2024 15:15

I never did get to see the messages. If it's an iPhone, go into settings then screen time. It'll show you exactly how much time he's spent on each app. Unless he's disabled it.

I can see he's on there lots, I just need to know with who and why!!

OP posts:

EcoChica1980 · 17/04/2024 15:22

I think you should ask him straight if there is anything going on, and what the reason for his heavy phone use is. I think it's pretty disrespectful to snoop on his phone. The casualness with which some on MN treat this invasion of privacy stinks, IMHO.

Lots of people are addicted to their social media and the amount they look at their phone can seem highly unusual to other people - but it's just their habit. From what you've written there doesn't actually seem to be any other evidence he's up to anything. You may well be right, of course, but there a healthier ways to go about finding out.

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 15:27

EcoChica1980 · 17/04/2024 15:22

I think you should ask him straight if there is anything going on, and what the reason for his heavy phone use is. I think it's pretty disrespectful to snoop on his phone. The casualness with which some on MN treat this invasion of privacy stinks, IMHO.

Lots of people are addicted to their social media and the amount they look at their phone can seem highly unusual to other people - but it's just their habit. From what you've written there doesn't actually seem to be any other evidence he's up to anything. You may well be right, of course, but there a healthier ways to go about finding out.

This!

BodyKeepingScore · 17/04/2024 15:29

EcoChica1980 · 17/04/2024 15:22

I think you should ask him straight if there is anything going on, and what the reason for his heavy phone use is. I think it's pretty disrespectful to snoop on his phone. The casualness with which some on MN treat this invasion of privacy stinks, IMHO.

Lots of people are addicted to their social media and the amount they look at their phone can seem highly unusual to other people - but it's just their habit. From what you've written there doesn't actually seem to be any other evidence he's up to anything. You may well be right, of course, but there a healthier ways to go about finding out.

I echo this. If you have to resort to snooping through someone's messages your relationship is dead in the water anyway.

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 15:34

What right do you have to go through someone’s phone? Just because he’s your husband? Unless you’re paying the bill? You don’t own this man. He’s not your child either. The marriage means nothing , he’s just a man who’s clearly not interested anymore for one reason or another. Men only cheat / go off if they think the grass is greener. Screw him and focus on yourself. The marriage sounds doomed either way, you find the evidence and confront him, he will hide it better next time. You find out he’s not cheating but he’s still not replying to you. Either way the relationship needs fixing before you go snooping

ScottishShortie · 17/04/2024 15:51

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 15:04

I know what he has her saved as, just initials...

Show quote history

Oh I’m so sorry my heart went in my mouth at this. They must have a textbook that tells them to do this….

Princesspollyyy · 17/04/2024 16:10

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 15:34

What right do you have to go through someone’s phone? Just because he’s your husband? Unless you’re paying the bill? You don’t own this man. He’s not your child either. The marriage means nothing , he’s just a man who’s clearly not interested anymore for one reason or another. Men only cheat / go off if they think the grass is greener. Screw him and focus on yourself. The marriage sounds doomed either way, you find the evidence and confront him, he will hide it better next time. You find out he’s not cheating but he’s still not replying to you. Either way the relationship needs fixing before you go snooping

Oh dear, not you again....

Turfwars · 17/04/2024 16:18

Have you put the phone number into the search function in instagram or facebook? Sometimes people are stupid enough to have their phone linked to their social media accounts. And get a friend to search for her, as you may be pre-emtively blocked by her.

Meatballsandpasta · 17/04/2024 16:30

ScottishShortie · 17/04/2024 11:48

Ps if you’re really suspicious and he’s not that tech savvy you can hook his wattsap up to a pc eg your laptop then you can see the messages. Someone I know did this and caught their OH out but if he checked ‘connected devices’ at any point he’d see you’d done this so it’s a risk

Don't do this. On my phone as soon as I connect it to a computer I have a steady notification stating it's connected to a second device, and the only way to get rid of the notification is to disconnect it. Different phones will show this differently but it's not worth it.

Delphiniumandlupins · 17/04/2024 16:40

Does he have many contacts saved under their initials, or just the person you are suspicious of? I'm sorry you're going through this but this amount of snooping is not healthy.

beenwhereyouare · 17/04/2024 17:04

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 13:35

It’s a huge invasion of privacy hacking the WhatsApp?
Stop messaging him completely, he clearly doesn’t want to WhatsApp you.
Withdraw and emotionally detach from this man
Who cares who he’s messaging? What are other aspects of your relationship like?

Who CARES? His wife does.

Are you seriously saying it wouldn't concern you in the least who your partner chatted with for hours, every day?

neverendingcold · 17/04/2024 17:06

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 11:52

Like he's been online about 25 times in the last 4 hours.

Maybe he's watching you?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 17/04/2024 17:17

@Sleepless865 would it be easier for you to take a day off work and follow him from his work or watch who he exits with? it might be someone from work or he might meet them after for a quick drink. have you checked all bank statements to see if there are any untoward expenses??

Redruby2020 · 17/04/2024 17:24

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 15:34

What right do you have to go through someone’s phone? Just because he’s your husband? Unless you’re paying the bill? You don’t own this man. He’s not your child either. The marriage means nothing , he’s just a man who’s clearly not interested anymore for one reason or another. Men only cheat / go off if they think the grass is greener. Screw him and focus on yourself. The marriage sounds doomed either way, you find the evidence and confront him, he will hide it better next time. You find out he’s not cheating but he’s still not replying to you. Either way the relationship needs fixing before you go snooping

You'd be surprised at how many do this. It becomes like an illness.
I never did this but was constantly in anxious mode. It becomes an obsession and makes you sick.

I know one lady whom I think would be naturally like this anyway.
But due to very obvious but just couldn't prove it exactly or the partner didn't own up, earlier on in the beginning possibly later on.
He's abused her throughout the relationship.
They have eachothers passcodes/logins etc. But i don't see why it is seen as acceptable or solves anything if you are constantly checking what is going on, general movements.
Conversations between him and family, what he is sending home to them, as they are abroad. Money sent/spending. Looking at his bank account, it's exhausting just when I hear about it.

Rania78 · 17/04/2024 17:40

Princesspollyyy · 17/04/2024 15:13

I'd get a cheap burner phone and payg SIM. Send a text to this woman saying

Hi, this is (husbands first name), message me on this number from now on xx

Then see what she replies. You will know if something is going on by how she replies. If nothing is going on with her, it could just be put down to a wrong number and nothing to do with your husband (providing he doesn't have an unusual first name) x

Genius!

DixonD · 17/04/2024 17:40

You can mark chats as “unread” but no number will show in the little blue circle 🔵.

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 17:44

beenwhereyouare · 17/04/2024 17:04

Who CARES? His wife does.

Are you seriously saying it wouldn't concern you in the least who your partner chatted with for hours, every day?

Show quote history

What I’m saying is she shouldn’t care how long he’s on whatapp for. He clearly knows she can see his ‘online’ status and doesn’t give a monkeys about her seeing it, so why should she waste any of her energy getting into a faff over this idiot

Cerealkiller4U · 17/04/2024 17:54

Takethat4 · 17/04/2024 13:35

It’s a huge invasion of privacy hacking the WhatsApp?
Stop messaging him completely, he clearly doesn’t want to WhatsApp you.
Withdraw and emotionally detach from this man
Who cares who he’s messaging? What are other aspects of your relationship like?

What a god damn awful enail

of course it’s important she finds out he’s cheating. Why on earth would you say tk her and so what I’d he’s cheering. Will you change anything?!?

I mean come
on!!!!!

Beekeepingmum · 17/04/2024 17:55

Sleepless865 · 17/04/2024 12:22

Yes, I found history he's looked at flats to rent ....I asked and he gave me an answer that didn't make sense.

Show quote history

I hope my husband never finds my rightmove history if looking at flats is an indicator of cheating. He's going to think I'm cheating all over the country 😀

TheIceQween · 17/04/2024 18:03

So I have my last seen hidden. I can see when people are online and they can see when I’m online but I can’t see their last seen either because I’ve hidden mine. If you see that he’s online, check her not long after and you’ll be able to see if she’s online

effoffwind · 17/04/2024 18:26

Is there any possibility he's opening WhatsApp to see if YOU online , or when last online ? Constantly as he sees you online .. watching him , maybe you watching each other ?
Unlikely but just a thought