A thread for fwb survivors (perhaps a little tongue in cheek)

[FWBSurvivor]

This is a thread for people who've had fwb where it hasn't ended in an ideal way? Which is kinda where I am at the moment.

Usually fwb suits me fine and when things come to a natural end I walk away it takes a little time to mend a bruised ego of course if they've been the one to end it. This situation is a little different.

Maybe I let it go on too long (nearly a year, I usually limit to around 6 months) and I did really like him. There were/are good reasons why it could never have become a serious/permanent relationship and I knew that from the start as did he and it didn't seem as if it would be a problem.

But then time goes on and I did come to like him quite a lot. He's chosen to end things as there are things he wants from a relationship which I simply cannot provide unfortunately. Nobody's fault just... life.

But I am feeling a little bruised as a result of things ending and not sure how long this will last or the best way to move forward.

So I thought a thread to chat with others who've been in a similar boat may help. You never know.

Yeh I have a child with mine n he literally lives over the street his a waste of space sleeps around the other day he turned up and just I gave in but now it's summer I've spent the last 10 years in n out with him and I just don't want to do it anymore the breath is rancid I've only just noticed he likes anyone's social medias adds woman in their inbox which I've had a few on the school run mention I'm like I'm done sex is good but it's just sex it can be built elsewhere with someone else who wants a little bit more than sex I love my independence but I'd love to just have that extra person to just to have breakfast with or even a walk for an hour this is just puss vibes and as good as it is it's not healthy

Hi @instantick it sounds like a really frustrating situation. Hope you're okay

Ooh it is its just having that strength to break away and I can block him but then I'm like unblocking just to check if his messaged I just need to be a bit stronger and eff it all off. It's just how dating seems to be these days tiring lol

How’s everyone doing?

Hey @mummypigoink
how are you? Enjoying the sunshine? Are you looking after yourself? How is your dating life?
I’m okay. Still seeing FwB and veering between feeling dissatisfied and frustrated that it isn’t more - more meaningful, more satisfying, more frequent- but then also feeling like it suits me as I don’t have to compromise or change much. And really enjoy seeing him when we’re together.

I am enjoying the sunshine @Clytemnestra21 and having a lazy weekend doing nothing. Still sometimes being stupid with FwB which is maybe not ideal, but isn’t hurting anyone.

Hi @mummypigoinkglad you’re enjoying the sunshine. Is it the same FwB as before Christmas? X

No.

But he’s currently weaving a tangled web with others and I’m not getting caught up in it, so we’ll go back to friends only.

Anyone got any helpful tips for accepting that you’re just not an attractive person.

Just checked back on this @mummypigoink, please don’t think of yourself in that way. One fuckwit’s behaviour is no way indicative of your attractiveness or worth.

But it’s not just one. I know what I need to do. I just don’t know how.

Hey all 👋
thinking of you all
have hit a point again where I think maybe my FwB is taking the p!##.
I know it’s my fault.
I know I’m the only one can change it.
and I know there’s just enough there that I don’t want to.
also know I’m like a stuck record and anyone who is still reading this probably find me very tedious (sorry! 😬)
thank goodness MN is anonymous!

👋 what’s he been doing now?!

Not even slightly tedious. This is what we’re here for….

Thanks @mummypigoink
@MoresunlessrainIve been felling quite crap and basically asked him this week to be kind and affectionate to me. He hasn’t been sufficiently kind or affectionate but still got what he wanted.

I feel stupid.
I’m going to re-read this thread tonight and look at all the times he’s upset me and I’ve posted about it. And going to look at the brilliant advice of the other posters and the experiences of those of you who have moved on. I need some inspiration.

Awww @Clytemnestra21 that is truly shit. But I really do understand why you stay with it.

Have a read of the situationship got back in touch after a year @Clytemnestra21! She dated others as new he wasn’t hood enough then when he got back in touch she told him she had a bf 🤩

@Moresunlessrain makes a very good point here @Clytemnestra21. It might be a pain but you could find someone who deserves you!!

Sorry to hear he hasn’t been able to step up and be affectionate when you needed him to @Clytemnestra21.. and it’s not tedious at all, we’ve all been there or we wouldn’t be on this thread, so please do keep on sharing.

Thanks all for your replies. I think we’re done

good luck @Clytemnestra21

Well done you

Sounds like you've found the tipping point where he's causing you more headwork than joy. Just not worth it.

We're behind you. Dump and be done. You've got this 💪🏻

@Clytemnestra21 I hope you’re doing okay. Months and months ago, you and FWB had a heart to heart about where you both stood—and it was clear that you weren’t aligned. It’s pretty obvious that since that time, one person has done 100% of the compromising of what their needs are, and the other person has done 0% of the compromising of what their needs are. Looking back over the past year, adding up all of the heartache versus the fun times, which experience outweighs the other? Are there more good times, or more bad feelings? x

How are you doing today @Clytemnestra21?

Not great @Moresunlessrain
feel pretty sad (and a bit humiliated)