A thread for fwb survivors (perhaps a little tongue in cheek)

[FWBSurvivor]

This is a thread for people who've had fwb where it hasn't ended in an ideal way? Which is kinda where I am at the moment.

Usually fwb suits me fine and when things come to a natural end I walk away it takes a little time to mend a bruised ego of course if they've been the one to end it. This situation is a little different.

Maybe I let it go on too long (nearly a year, I usually limit to around 6 months) and I did really like him. There were/are good reasons why it could never have become a serious/permanent relationship and I knew that from the start as did he and it didn't seem as if it would be a problem.

But then time goes on and I did come to like him quite a lot. He's chosen to end things as there are things he wants from a relationship which I simply cannot provide unfortunately. Nobody's fault just... life.

But I am feeling a little bruised as a result of things ending and not sure how long this will last or the best way to move forward.

So I thought a thread to chat with others who've been in a similar boat may help. You never know.

He’s either a manipulative knob or an emotionally stunted knob. Since it’s MN, bring out the 🚩 @Clytemnestra21. No one should be behaving the way he is with you and you really are better off without him.

What an absolute dick @Clytemnestra21 . I agree with @mummypigoink

He was probably testing to see if you'd blocked him or not.

I know you're reluctant to block because he told you to, but you can't have him messing with your head like this with his childish games. Messaging then deleting for goodness sake. He wants you to still want him and remind you he's there.

Don't give him that power over you. Block and delete. The first few days will be hard but it'll be easier as time goes on.

Thanks @OfcourseitsaNC and @mummypigoink
We chatted again. He sent me a message I couldn't really ignore. But no further forward.

He says you're not his person but obviously can't let you go. What on earth is his problem.

He’s currently moving towards the manipulative knob end of the scale @Clytemnestra21. Keep that in your head!

You're no further forward @Clytemnestra21 as there is no forward.

You're stuck in the place of wanting different things.

It's never going to work.

You can ignore him, whatever message he sends. You need to give yourself the power to do so.

Reread your messages about him on this thread and find your strength to stay strong.

That "Do you miss me?" text really showed him for who he is (self centred at best, I'm thinking of a few choice swear words at worst! ..) @Clytemnestra21, which is probably why he deleted it. It's very telling that it wasn't "I miss you" but was self-referential. He obviously doesn't want it to end, but he also seems to have no intention (or ability? Is he very avoidant?) of stepping it up, so it depends how long you want to stay in this zone .. You get to choose whether you stay or go and there is a power in that, despite how powerless you feel now...

@shivermetimbers77 is right about you having the power in deciding what to do @Clytemnestra21 And that there’s a few choice swear words for him.

as both @OfcourseitsaNC and I can confirm, that moment when the scales fall from your eyes and you realise what an emotionally stunted manchild he is, is truly absolutely liberating. And it won’t take you long to find that realisation!!

How’s everyone doing?

Hey @mummypigoink how are you? Xx

I'm okay. But reeled back in. So have chosen very slow hard by @OfcourseitsaNC 's criteria.
We've had endless messaging back and forth. Im looking forward to seeing him though.

Look after yourself @Clytemnestra21

I’m OK. Still being a bit stupid, but trying really hard to be happy with just me as I am

Thanks @mummypigoink
Glad you're ok
I'm definitely being stupid
But can't help myself
Good friend gave me a serious talking to tonight

No judgement on the being stupid. It’s literally part of the deal here. Does your friend also know FwB?

No, none of my friends know him. She's just going off what she knows about him from me.
How's your weekend been @mummypigoink

@Clytemnestra21 have decided there is no more being stupid by me. No more messing about with people where I know it’s never going anywhere. FwB is one thing, making your social circle awkward is another.

what’s happening with you.

Hi @mummypigoink 5"that makes perfect sense on not complicating the friendship circle:
I'm ok. I saw him. It was nice. In a phase where I feel like it suits me.

@Clytemnestra21 if it suits you, it suits you. I get where you are.

Hope everyone's well and surviving x

Mores the point, how are you doing @Clytemnestra21

Ok thanks @mummypigoink. Still seeing FwB which isn't entirely sensible but I'm lonely. How are you? X

I’m being a wee bit stupid again @Clytemnestra21 because I absolutely agree that sometimes the loneliness gets too much

@mummypigoink it's so normal to want connection and intimacy. Even when it isn't ideal, some feels better than none doesn't it?

i know exactly what you mean @Clytemnestra21. It’s made me realise how much I missed the little things.

In same boat, but I'm beginning to see that life's to short to be stuck with a stinking breath liar