Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

@Dadjoke007 you sound great! Though I do agree with @2anddone maybe don't highlight the beer bit! I personally want to meet someone who like a drink, but not someone who really likes a drink, so it might put me off! Saying that two or three of my pictures have me holding a glass of wine!! Mainly because I only get pictures of me at birthdays/weddings etc! Good luck, you sound nice. Just be patient and I bet you'll get some likes. Remember, the rule of OLD is quality over quantity!

@blacksocks33 sorry I never replied to your message!! Yes, I think he is. Though he did message Thursday and Friday saying he is back to normal self (and seemed more chipper)! I have ignored him as had really important hospital tests yesterday which I told him about and he didn't even mention. I will message him today. But think I'm going to do the slow fade! It's highlighted to me how he would be going forward!!! Maybe I'm being unfair.

Who has dates this weekend? Sorry can't keep up with thread! Good luck and hope you all have a lovely time! Xxx

Mr IRL has gone away for a week fishing with his friends so will be interesting to see how much he stays in contact and if we see each other when he gets back, so far he has messaged both last night and this morning. Last night he messaged saying he thought we should go away somewhere together....baring in mind we are still sneaking around because if his adult daughters while the divorce goes through and also he had probably had a few beers I replied...sounds good I can go whenever you are brave enough! Not going to lie the sneaking around is starting to get on my nerves a bit but also helping me not catch too many feelings...though some are starting to sneak in!
Good luck to everyone on dates this weekend I look forward to the updates

@Dadjoke007 - in a similar place. I think a couple of pictures doing outdoorsy stuff bike/kayak would be good. This would give a more balanced profile. Agree a full body or 3/4 length shot as well. Think a couple of pics with beer is fine, though would think about what kind of person you would be most interested in appealing to and tailor accordingly.

Ran into Mr Wozfunnest in the pub last night. He decided that a noisy pub (live music) was the place to apologise for his poor communication style (ghosted me a year ago after 20 months) and tell my friend about all the really good fun we had together (amazed at the detail of the incidents he remembered. We danced a bit and it was nice but we won’t resume. He told me he had decided that he doesn’t want a relationship -now has a dog that is the love of his life (dog was with him!) three full time consultancy jobs (!!) and difficult teenage sons.
I’m sad but really do feel that we’ve had closure and no longer need to b anxious about running into him locally.

new to the thread so don't know the history with your men @2anddone and @VanillaSox . A RL iron sounds ideal though! (agree I couldn't put up with the sneaking for long though..)

I did have a date last night, with the poshest man I've met for a long time! Nice date, definitely fancied him a bit. He did keep trying to hold my hand over the table which was a bit too soon for me! He bought the (very expensive) bottle of wine. I will see him again. I'll call him MrGilet.

Have a date also this evening with another beardy man (I have a type) will name him if it goes well!

Meanwhile my ex has viewed my profile AGAIN on Match. I did message him drunkenly last night but deleted the message this morning. I really loved him, but reminding myself that the relationship did end for very good reasons! It's hard though as I haven't met anyone else who I've clicked with to such an extent on a personality level.

Just started a chat with some guy in tinder. He seems nice but also seems to just agreeing with everything I say out of, I assume, politeness. But because of that I don't know how I feel about him. Anyway, he's sent me a message today continuing a chat about food and said "well I know where to take you if I'm lucky to get a date"....
I don't really want to talk about going on a date right now... how do I address that or do I just respond to all the other things he's said and ignore it 🙈

Also... I've seen a few of you refer to matches as irons... what does that mean? 🙈

@blacksocks33 I think if you are finding him too nice / agreeable then maybe just be honest and bin him off. Sounds ruthless but if you’re not feeling his chit chat you might be better off investing time chatting to someone else.

I don’t know what irons means either 🤔

Irons as in irons in the fire @blacksocks33
And I ignore questions/comments that I’m not keen on answering, if I was in your situation and he brought it up again then I would say something like ‘I’d like to get to know you a bit more first’

Thank you! I've just had to Google irons in the fire 🙈

I don't think I want to stop the chat just yet, will see how it flows. I just don't want to start date talk just yet! 🙂

I hope everyone dating has a lovely time this weekend ☺️

I love this already ❤️

Fingers crossed for you.

This is nice and exciting. Have you got a date confirmed now?

@HelenHywater That’s a good update. How did you manage the bill splitting?

@blacksocks33 would you be open to FaceTime or a call with him? I seem to get through men quite quickly after matching. Those where the chat is good and reasonably responsive, I’ll suggest a call or FaceTime. Only after that would I entertain an in person date, I’m time poor and dating is expensive! 😂

I have only had two in-person dates this year, but about six FaceTime calls (I call them dates too!). Only MrTeacher has progressed to a second date.

Hi LittleFloatingGhost How's things going with you? No, he changed from saying he has a little free time most daytimes & evenings, to not being available at all apart from one daytime & one evening in 3/4 weeks time. So I just unmatched.

@NervesOfCotton that’s annoying. I find it frustrating on your behalf!

MrTeacher is away this weekend and we never arranged anything for his return. However, he messaged me on the way to the airport and when he landed. He has been in contact each day - driven by him as he is away with his friends. He is back on Monday, so I feel like we will get something in this week given how engaged he is being.

I think I’m getting to the stage where I feel like I am dating a lot and other than MrMusic and the other one, there hasn’t been anything substantial in nearly two years. I keep swiping and talking to people as worried I may miss something, but also feeling a little transactional as I’m so experienced and quick to filter. Am I alone in this?

IMr Teacher sounds great! Those little bits of contact matter don't they.

I know what you mean, LittleFloatingGhost. I used to feel like that more in the Speed dating days as I'd have loads of chats on the go. I still never managed many physical dates but I felt like a bit of an expert at the chatting part!

It's still quiet for me on Bumble now though, I barely chat to anybody. I'm not constantly on there but I have a little swiping session once a day at least. I had another one word man yesterday (who took the entire day to tell me in one word messages that he'd gone out for breakfast & where he'd gone, & not ask a single thing back)

I don't understand the opening line on a profile of 'Shut your mouth about the Dutch. It has nothing to do with you'. ???

Also another one with the famous 'No drama' & he mentions it 5 times! ending with 'Seriously, I just want a drama free life'.

Imagine anybody ever trying to say to him 'Ahh, I had a rough day today, this happened...' & him butting in saying 'No! I said no drama! Don't tell me! No drama! Ssshhh!'

@NervesOfCotton that has made me laugh 😂 (the last part!).

A quiet weekend here on the dating front. Mr N (current preference) is busy with his kids (fair enough) but my other option (Mr Kit) is a bit rubbish at actually telling me when he’s free so haven’t seen him either. Spoke to someone last night after I had been to the pub and was possibly a bit too straightforward about a couple of things, although this didn’t appear to deter him so we’re probably meeting up on Tuesday 😂

@NervesOfCotton ahahaaaaa that last part is hilarious … and so true 😂

I think anyone who says “no drama” most likely creates any drama they’ve had and lack any self awareness to realise why.

@LittleFloatingGhost that sounds really promising 🙂

Very strange this morning I got a message on Bumble from someone I hadn’t messaged first.

I thought Bumble the woman absolutely had to send the first message

I just let him pay!

I had that too @SamW98 from the guy I went out with last night. I don't know how it happened!