Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

How gang!

I've been reading these threads for two years now... In that time I habe internet dated.... Quick summary intro as to not bore u all!!
-seperated two years (divorced now)
-there kids under 11
-42
-dated someone met irl but got totally realed in with love bombing nice guy act who bled his feeling all over me and drowned my own out. Horrible breaking up with due to him being so victim and poor him
-dated second person from hinge, lot of sexual chemistry, lot of sex, he acted a lot in hindesight and he probably didn't even realise how inauthebtic he was, it ended with him going off the rails and showing himself time be an alcoholic. Not nice. More because I realised so much about myself : -(
-spent since last July being alone, force myself to sit in it and bit distract myself with plans every single spare minute I have.

• at place now where theortrixallt I know how to enter bsck into dating world as I want a Partner. But need u guys to help me along the way because Soon as I catch feelings I go heady and perspective !

So currently only on hinge and opening app once a day or two. Matching with a few but not chatting as I'm being picky!!!

Right now in a caravan with the kids and it's lashing down outside!!!

Hooeni can join u lot?!

@Grenola
Welcome to the gang .

Well I’ve got a date on Sunday! This one seems so nice and normal. He uses whole sentences and everything 🤣

I did go back to him and say I don’t feel comfortable finding a pub in a random midway town that I’m not familiar with but I’m happy to come over to his way. He immediately replied no he will come to me so I can choose somewhere I know and that I’m familiar with as first meeting point. He said he wasn’t trying to put it all on me but he thinks it’s important for the woman to feel comfortable.

@SamW98
That does sound promising
Hope it all goes well
Excited for you 😊

@librauk thanks : -)
@SamW98 good luck with that date! Do u keep the chatting and getting to know u going once a date is arranged

I find that I worry about moving the connection on too much before actually meeting. But then if I don't chat I think myself out of wanting to go!!

@SamW98 ability to use whole sentences is something to shout about and he sounds like he may have some emotional intelligence as well. You so deserve a decent date experience, really hope it goes well on Sunday.

I deleted my match profile last week. As really needed a break but then somehow got hooked into Hinge for a few days but it was depressing, matched the low effort messages for a few days until it reached an all time low and then unmatched and am going to delete that as well. But just went in and checked Bumble which is due to finish tomorrow, I had already cancelled the subscription and all of a sudden I've got loads of new likes after nothing happening for ages.

Presumably designed to hook me back in. Anyway it's worked 😆 just messaged one who sounds interesting and another one who lives in a place I love to visit. So will see if anything comes of either of them. Doubtful but clearly I'm not done with it all yet either

Glad to see you are all still persevering in one way or another 😊

SamW98 Sounds promising!

I'm going to tentatively add that I started chatting to one on Tuesday, All seems good so I just asked him if he'd like to meet & he said that he'd love to... So now trying to match up free-time etc.

I had a second date with Mr sensible. He is coming across much less sensible than his messages and is quite funny. But he seems quite nervous. He has suggested a day date might be more relaxing. I’m finding it hard to read him and work out connection. But he is normal and also can manage whole sentences! 😂 There is actually a good level of conversation so fingers crossed!
I had another guy messaging but he left me a voice note that was a bit loud and ott and it put me off so I’m quietly backing away!
Ive paused my apps because i like a break not because I'm in love or anything close!!!

Tillievanilly Aww Mr sensible sounds nice! Hopefully the daytime date goes well.

Great news! @SamW98 @Tillievanilly

Ooh @SamW98 he sounds promising, hope all goes well.

@Tillievanilly yours also sounds great, nice to hear there are still a few normal men around!

How can I block someone on bumble?

Just seen my ex bf!

In his bio he's said no lip fillers or giraffe lips 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Orchidlie What's giraffe lips? (Or don't I want to know)
At the bottom of the profile you can click 'Hide'.

Oh I meant giraffe eye lashes!!

Do I click on their profile?

Orchidlie Yeah then at the bottom of the profile you click on 'hide & report' then it says 'hide?' Or 'hide & report?'

Not gonna happen with my new one. He's gone from saying that he's free 'at some point on any daytime or evening within reason', to only having one evening free in 3 weeks time, or one daytime free in 4 weeks time.

Of course, he might be genuinely really busy but he's not even apologetic about it, just 'This is when I'm free'.

@NervesOfCotton that sounds ridiculous, even if things would go well, can you imagine trying to date someone like that busy (if real)?

@SamW98 fingers crossed for these being normal men - you've had your share of weird ones 😂

From my side, the 2 that been chatting for a while, have gone quiet. Tbh they were getting into penpal, as been chatting over a week and no date proposed (one of them asked for a call but it never happened). I have few other chats ongoing, but might need to go back to swiping!

User990 I know! I didn't even answer him, just unmatched. I asked him when we first started chatting about date availability (as I always do) & that's when he said about having time daytimes & evenings, but it obviously wasn't true.

Shame about your 2. I can't sit there for a week without arranging a date, I'm just too impatient

@SamW98 @Tillievanilly ooooooh definitely sounds promising both of you!!

This group is the best! (As if that even needs saying 😁😁)
Mr Wozfunnest has emerged and messaged me (using his pet name for me) a clearly carefully crafted wording as namechecks old school friends of his etc who are ‘asking after me’).
But thanks to y’all I am stronger now.
I breezily replied, pleasant and friendly but didn’t ask him any questions and have relegated it to ‘archive’ so not going to look at reads etc.
Thsnk you /this group really has made me feel stronger and I need to pay forward!

Just curious what would be a good idea to do out and about (date 3/4)? Something fun and adventurous? Outdoorsy?

@cassiatwenty Go Ape...do you have one near you?

@cassiatwenty @SortingItOut Go Ape is a great idea! Or axe throwing? Or a black dinner? (where you're eating in total darkness or blindfolded or something)

I had an interesting chat with Mr B this afternoon. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and upset about other things happening in my life at the moment (not to do with men, lol) and did not want to lay additional burden on my closest friends who all have bigger problems at the moment.

So I messaged Mr B to ask for some sympathy. He immediately responded. Called me and listened and empathised and said soothing things and was generally lovely. We both have difficult jobs and families and commitments and don't live that close. But it was actually nice to feel that we have these anxieties in common! Comforting too that he could confide in me and tell me that he feels that fear too.

Yes I am, thank you both for suggesting this @SortingItOut @Chocolatefreak I don't want to just sit down and talk, but my mind went blank

That really sounds like a meaningful moment @Chocolatefreak. I always wonder who could I trust (irons) if/when having a bad day, so Mr B. being emotionally avalible and open is a big plus.

@Chocolatefreak I am impressed that you were brave enough to reach out. I never feel able to do that (even in my marriage I didn’t confide serious work issues (bullying) to my husband and he was amazed when he read my grievance form how bad things were.) Similarly with Mr Wozfunnest I just couldn’t confide, although he did in me.
I recent heard a podcast (Diary of a CEO —fab podcast I first heard about on here) and being vulnerable is really important in developing a relationship-I hadn’t realised that -thought I had to be be breezy and happy all the time. Even tho’ I have fantastic female friendships that are close precisely because we confide our weaknesses and low points as well as the happy stuff.