Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

I sent it and he's replied. TBH his reply is very indifferent and has just made me feel even worse although it just confirms what I thought that he wasn't as invested as I was.

I feel miles better after sending it though. I feel like I've got some of my power back as daft as that sounds.

@Pepsimaxedout I have respect for you to wait for his reply. When I messaged Mr S on Thursday I just waited for the ticks to turn blue then blocked once I knew he had read it!! I was too nervous to read any reply!!

@2anddone oh I've done that to other people before now!! Sent it, muted the chat and then blocked them without reading the replies.

I’ve been following this topic but have been quiet and named changed. I was seeing a guy from Nov- Feb but he moved back home. We’d been chatting since Aug and we were perfect. He wanted to give long distance a go but I couldn’t face it. We’ve been chatting a bit, he did promise to move back but I don’t think that’ll actually happen.
He's been texting again and it’s just reminding me how much I miss him but can’t block him.

A couple of days before we split a guy from the year before randomly text to apologise for treating me like shit. We’ve been chatting and I realised I miss him but he just wants the sex for now as he’s sent me pics of a girl he’s dating giving him head. Said that he could see a future with me but can’t get over that. Just can’t get him out of my head.

Started chatting to another guy but he’s 8 years younger than me. He seems lovely and is keen to go on a date and doesn’t want kids which is a massive bonus. Just the convo the last couple of days has been 1 sided which is unlike him. Maybe I’m just over thinking?

Not feeling great about any of it and my brain is scrambled.

@ScouseMouse86 in your position, I would be blocking all of them. None of them sound great TBH.

The one sending a photo of a woman giving him head is repulsive and it’s actually a criminal offence so I’d block his disgusting arse. If he send photos to you, he’ll send photos of you.

I agree @ScouseMouse86 I would look for someone new. Him sending you a picture of her giving him head is extremely disturbing.

@ScouseMouse86 definitely block and unmatch number 2 he has no respect for you whatsoever!!
I would give the benefit of the doubt to 1 and 3 and see how the text convos go!

Thinks that what I needed. I told him how it made me feel but he didn’t see it as a big deal. He’s blocked.

I know I should block the one that moved back home just I can’t seem to let him go. He seems to know when I’m low as he pops back up to take over my brain.

The other guy I’ll see how he goes over the next couple of days as I don’t want to bin him off if he was just busy. He could well be playing me but has come across as genuine and answered anything I’ve asked quickly and things add up, which it doesn’t always

To be honest, it's not so much about how he made you feel but the fact that he's committed a sexual offence against this woman by sharing that. It is a criminal offence. I would honestly report that to the police.

I agree. What about the woman who has an intimate sexual moment being shared? She’s been absolutely violated. I would tell her personally

And a man who doesn’t see that as a big deal really deserves all he gets. The Stephen Bear case has hopefully set a precedent to these vile creatures who think this is a bit of fun that actually you’re a nasty grubby sex offending piece of shit.

He said he’d sent me as a turn on and I guess in as much as I had this woman here last night to try and make me jealous. I don’t know the woman in question but he said he’d send me vids which I obviously declined. Not that I asked for the first pic. I know it’s bad but I couldn’t report him. I don’t know her either to have a quiet word with or I would.

@ScouseMouse86 thats awful I hope your ok.
I had a guy message me and made a joke about kidnapping me tonight. It was kind of funny at first. Then he went into a bit more detail. He was a police officer!
He also left me an audio message which halfway through he seemed to read a message out loud from another woman asking him to meet for a drink. Maybe he thought he’d paused the audio or something. So weird!! Maybe he was drunk or his job had messed him up completely!!

@blacksocks33 i just read your update and i am feeling for you. It's really sad when you hope and things turn out right. As Sam said, at least you got closure and you will be better able to move on.

This 'holiday' has been rubbish hasn't it? Feeling so burnt out with personal/family stuff that I couldn't contact my iron (didn't think of a name yet) because i feel so so low 😣

Just checking in xxx

@blacksocks33 Hope you’re feeling a little better today.

Agree with this! Also, maybe take a step back as you may need some you time given how you’re feeling.

@blacksocks33 sorry this has happened. I do think physical chemistry is really key and hindsight has shown me if it's not there initially, then it all struggles to get off the ground.

One thing I hate about online dating (and dating in general) is the anxiety/uncertainty it brings into my life. When I was actively single, I focussed on me whereas with dating, I'm like 'will he turn up, does he care, will we break up later!'

@GeordieLass02 @cassiatwenty
Aww thank you both!
You're right, I am so glad he told me and didn't just ghost me. I don't know how I would've coped being ghosted after our little whirlwind.
Tbh I feel like crap. I think I was just finally starting to allow myself to think it could be going somewhere this week... after all the denial and anxiety 🙈
But saying that, the date yesterday wasn't great. He wasn't chatty and I really picked up on the fact he didn't want to be there. He said he'd kind of made his mind up before our date... I just wish he'd told me then as I didn't like how that date felt. But I'm not criticising him really... he's not done anything wrong.
I just feel sad.
I am looking forward to finding someone new to talk to but also feeling very intimidated. What I liked about this guy was how down to earth he was. Enjoyed the simple things, not a drinker or smoker.... could tell he was just a nice person and that's what I want! How many "nice" people are actually still out there 🤔 I liked that our dates included lots of chatting and board games 🙈
But yeah,,, still feel really sad 😞

Yes definitely! Maybe i am a slow burner... but I definitely was picking up on the lack of anything physical.

You're right.. how do we stop from feeling so insecure in those early days?!

@cassiatwenty I feel like it's been emotionally draining too. I've actually had a lovely week off with my kids. But I feel like other stuff has clouded it. Stuff with my ex, not just dating.

@Loopylooni it's the anxiety I hate. Will he answer, will he call, will he turn up, will he like me. Along with needing to paint my nails and straighten my hair! This is why I need a break!

@blacksocks33 if you find the answer to feeling less insecure let me know. I like to think I am pretty no nonsense with men and too happy by myself to tolerate nonsense. But I still feel it in the early days!

@blacksocks33 I'm also sorry for how your feeling today. Although this bloke seemed nice, he wasn't particularly nice to have agreed to the date if he wasn't feeling it. There will be someone else out there for you. All of these things teach us the lessons we need to learn to find someone right for us.

@Pepsimaxedout aww thank you lovely!
Did you hear anything back from your guy last night after your text?
Yeah I agree, he kind of said he still met me yesterday because he'd agreed to it on Friday night but already knew how he felt.... and when we were on it and I was leading all the conversation etc it made me feel really bad about myself.
It's hard to not think of alll the things I liked about him though! He ticked many boxes.
I will be ok, he obviously wasn't the one for me.
I just feel gutted, and im annoyed at myself for how rubbish I feel!
I just really want to find my person.

@Pepsimaxedout it can be a minefield really and I've had both where partners have been full on into me (and vice versa) only for it to end when reality hits. Current partner is lovely but a bit of a dreamer so I'm never quite sure how into me he is. There are a few outing factors here I cant say but I agree about getting all ready and worried it will be a waste of time and money! Men clearly don't have all this!