Dating Thread 247

[SamW98]

Continued from 246

The Rules:

1.The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. Know your worth.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.
11. Treat others as you'd like to be treated
12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
13. The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
14. OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy.

Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item

Thank you @blacksocks33 yes I have that feeling too. Trying hard to not get excited!

I paid £30 for a month on match. It does seem to be less morons than on any of the others I tried. I agree @Loopylooni and this seems a thing that they all do. Hinge did it to me, I went with barely any likes for weeks and then the day my subscription ended, there were loads allegedly hidden ready for me if I rejoined! Nope!

I am on match
Have not paid
I just look out for ones that have pd
Green crown on profile
I have chatted to a few
But all are too far from me
But it is easy to use

A poem for the OLD age 😂

I'm pausing my profiles because I'm talking to four people (3 men and 1 woman) and I'm getting overwhelmed by it.

Thing is, I have reservations about all of them having been on 1 date (two in the case of Mr Sneaker) or in the process of arranging our first date. How many dates would you go on with someone before you would expect them to stop dating other people?

@friendswiththemonstera If I really like someone, I know on the first date, although I give it a couple more to get to know them a bit better and see if they are on the same page.

In my experience by date 5, you generally know whether you want to go exclusive.

@blacksocks33 sounds like you're already over Mr Shy tbh. I think the experience with him should restore your faith in men a bit, no? He clearly liked a lot about you and, even though it was painful, ultimately did the decent thing at the end. Now you know there are decent guys out there - you just need to have fun looking for one that's a better fit!

@RadiantRainbow yours sounds nice, I would continue with him a bit longer if you don't mind waiting. I have one I'm waiting for, I will call him Mr Crash. He sends thoughtful and insightful messages - and I would like to meet him in person. The only thing is....he drunkenly fell off his bike and broke his nose (!) and I think he's feeling a bit self-conscious because of that. The other thing is he has a history of addiction....My ex was an addict, but Mr Crash sounds like he is much more realistic about it. I have another chat going with someone who's my type physically. Big and bald, lol. I will call him Mr Beefy. Meanwhile Mr B is checking in regularly, but away for two weeks.

I want to delete Bumble and start again - can I use the same email address? I can see lots of new likes but Bumble is not letting me see them. My cleavage photo has risen to become most clicked photo so I'm going to replace that - although have had nothing but respectfully complimentary remarks I don't want to continue to use it, it's a bit old and quite frankly, gives an unrealistic impression!

Thank you @Starseeking that's useful. I think I won't let any of them get past the third date if I don't intend to keep seeing just them. I want to give them all a chance but I am finding it hard to tell who I'd be most compatible with for a relationship.

@friendswiththemonstera I agree with @Starseeking , would give it a few dates before deciding.

@Chocolatefreak aww thank you ❤️ tbh im still feeling wounded and I do miss talking to him, but I think I need to just power on through because I can't change the outcome of what happened!
I really hope I can find another nice guy!

You will find someone even nicer who doesn't have you guessing! Mr Not Too Shy!

@friendswiththemonstera awww thank you! 🥲🥲🥲❤️
God you're all making me emotional 😂🙈

I can't keep up with all the updates! Really glad that some good things are happening for some of us, very heartening.

@blacksocks33 I would just get back onto it if you haven't already. Absolutely no reason why there isn't a nice guy out there who will be right for you or any of us.

I've been exchanging messages with someone who I liked the look of but only really in one of his photos, not sure about the rest of his photos. He seems fine in his chat, basically nothing is setting me on fire but his written profile resonated and he is at least messaging consistently and seems interested. Pretty sure I could suggest meeting and he'd be keen.

Has anyone gone to meet someone in RL and physically liked them more than they anticipated from the photos?

I am just feeling a bit underwhelmed by it all and preferring the two others I've been chatting to who are physically more attractive to me from their photos but either showing some red flags in the chat or being inconsistent with messaging.

@Mckittens yeah you're right! I'm just using my free time chilling at soft, whilst the kids play, resigning up to tinder 🙈
I think I need to get out of my Mr shy bubble now. It's done and dusted! Going to try my best to be more positive now.
Not sure about bumble... I never have any luck on there!

@Mckittens I met up with someone at the end of last week who was much nicer in real life than in his photos so it can happen 😎

@Browniesandcustard that's good to know- thank you! Aware I've become ruthless in some ways so don't want to write something off that could be something but equally don't want to waste anyone's time.

@blacksocks33 have you tried Match? I am finding it busier than Bumble but I am a different demographic to you 😆

I know Bumble is tricky in terms of the first message thing but I just have a stock first message that I cope and paste. I change it slightly depending on the content of the profile I'm responding to but basically it's usually the same message just customised and it seems to work as in I usually get a reply and I don't feel like I'm putting too much effort in.

Having said that I have just written a brand new message to someone because there were quite few things in their profile that I really like so thought he deserved more effort. Bet he doesn't respond 😬

@Mckittens

my iron I only fancied in one photo and that must have been from a few years ago, however his WhatsApp photo nearly made me reconsider meeting up, it was so bad!! 😀 Turns out he is just really bad at taking selfies or has a bad phone for it. He takes selfies which are like looking in the side of a kettle, with the face wider/nose bigger/eyes further apart than in real life 😂
But I also googled him and found a professional picture online(not a selfie) which though it was obviously older he just looked normal/attractive, and that’s what he turned out to be.
He had a little bit of a chub on him but surprisingly I wasn’t too bothered, also body can be worked on, I know he used to be athletic in the past and it’s not out of bounds of reality that he could get trim again…

I have now met up with Mr ITW 4 times since we got together for the coffee on Wednesday. Not a lot of talking goes on 😉😉 have checked repeatedly he actually wants to meet up as we still haven't managed to have full sex and he assures me he does!
To be fair we live in the next street from each other so our meet ups have been an hour here and there when our kids have been out. Talking about a night away together in a few weeks also he is still reluctant to go anywhere where we might be seen at the moment as doesn't want his kids or ex wife finding out (only separated 5 months and divorce going through they are just working out how he buys her out the house and he doesn't want her finding out about us as she will make things difficult)
I am happy how we are at the moment and happy to see where it goes

@2anddone isn't it mad how quickly things can change, this time last week you had no idea you'd see him so much! Are you still hppy with the FWB situation?

I've had 3 matches in tinder. None of them started the convo with me (shock) and limited info in their bios (shock again!). Need help with good ice breakers?

One I used to use was "what's the worst opening line you've had on here"..... but I'm sick of listening to them now and want something different! Anyone have anything I can use 🙈

@Mckittens i have met a few that look better in real life. I have a chat going on with mr 8 years younger we have discussed meeting at the weekend. Since becoming single my “type” has definitely changed and he is my type! I was mainly looking for fwb but we will see. I have a few other chats going on but one is hard work another one I’m not sure I can bothered…

Also does anyone else have reoccurring matches. The same person then every time they hardly chat! I think maybe this time it’s different but no! So odd! Ego boost maybe!

@blacksocks33 I know it's crazy honestly didn't think I would see him so often even if it is for an hour or so at a time....still very happy with the FWB situation his head is too messed up for anything else at the moment and by doing this it stops me getting too invested!
His first day back at work today and I am in London all day tomorrow so not sure when I might see him again!

I think I have unlocked a new “code for” comment. If they say they are easy going….. lazy buggers who will make zero effort.

I deleted tinder a few weeks ago as found I was doing better with hinge. Then after the last ghosting situation I thought, I haven’t given bumble a go in a while. I lasted in there 48 hours. It is such a bad design!

hinge is now rubbish. Re-downloaded tinder and set up a new account and it definitely has the best match and chat rate. Whether anything comes of them is a different question.

@blacksocks33 one I use on bumble is...this is awkward having to start a conversation, what happened to going up to randoms in bars...usually gets a chat going

Mr Crash has now asked me if I'm on Bumble just for chatting. This is after we both agreed we were on there to find someone nice. I wondered if he was being reticent because of his accident - broken nose, covered in cuts and bruises etc since he hasn't suggested meeting. But when I pointed out we'd already had that conversation he got huffy with me and has now 'wished me good luck' etc.

I would have maybe suggested meeting before but he first had his accident and then it was Easter and I had family over.

I'm wondering if he's chatting to someone else and he's trying to tell me that he wants to stop?

FFS I've just given him my number in case he wants to move to WhatsApp and he's 'considering it'. This seems a little ridiculous.