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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

568 replies

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:18

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 30/03/2024 15:39

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:56

I hope it was! 😬 I have a really horrible feeling @Cailin66 is being serious though. Hard to tell. As a pp said, I think they need to clarify!

Edited

No! Sarcasm...surely

Vive42 · 30/03/2024 15:40

Apolloneuro · 30/03/2024 15:19

Whether he’s a scammer or not, raise the feckin bar for yourself.

Showing your breasts and touching yourself online to a stranger you’ve known two weeks is really trashy.

Have a bit of class.

Or at least make an Only Fans account and don’t give it for free.

Edited

Solid advice. OP getting carried away on all counts. Completely deluded.

It’s reminded me of Shirley Valentine. What a blast from the past.

5128gap · 30/03/2024 15:43

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 13:43

Look I don't know if it makes any difference but to comment on a previous post mentioning a chubby short woman, I'm told I am apparently "good looking" I'm slim and I've been told many times that I look in my early 30s. I'm 40.

I'm not the stereotypical overweight older woman who gets lured in by these younger handsome men because they can't believe their luck. I can quite easily attract men in real life. As I said before I'm already sort of seeing someone else anyway.

No, it makes no difference. He may well find you very sexually attractive. The red flag isn't omg a man like that couldn't possibly be interested in OP-none of us have seen you or him. Besides which there's no accounting for tastes. The red flag is that he's doing some things that are quite typical of scammers, and stretch credulity. A 28 year old man with no sexual experience who was despite this quite comfortable and confident with your 'intimacy', the disappearing, the father in hospital complete with photo. Its not what you might look like that makes people doubt his sincerity, it's his behaviour.

WallaceinAnderland · 30/03/2024 15:47

He's probably married. The photos of sick father are probably 5 years old. He probably gets his kicks off lots of women. He may well ask for money at some point.

As long as you ok with all that OP, crack on. We all have our own boundaries.

LargeGreenMonsterPlant · 30/03/2024 15:50

Your online friend shared a picture of his dad aka uncle / neighbour / cousin's FIL / shop owner from down the road?

Wait for the medical bill to arrive soon. 😂😂😂

If this is real I am very worried about you OP. Hope it's not real.

Astartn · 30/03/2024 15:54

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 13:43

Look I don't know if it makes any difference but to comment on a previous post mentioning a chubby short woman, I'm told I am apparently "good looking" I'm slim and I've been told many times that I look in my early 30s. I'm 40.

I'm not the stereotypical overweight older woman who gets lured in by these younger handsome men because they can't believe their luck. I can quite easily attract men in real life. As I said before I'm already sort of seeing someone else anyway.

There’s a show I saw on YouTube about “holiday scams”. I’m actually slightly loathe to call them scams as I feel the women know exactly what kind of young men they are fetishising /giving a British passport, erm I mean marrying!

But anyway on this show many of the women that were “scammed” were slim and attractive in their 30s and 40s. I find them very predatory anyway and most had kids closer to the men’s age!

btw, how would you feel if the person you are currently seeing were to be masturbating online with a random online woman via video call?

Astartn · 30/03/2024 16:00

BanditoShipman · 30/03/2024 14:09

If a man posted about his strong attraction for ‘younger, Asian* women’ he’d be ripped apart, You sound like a lech op 🤮 the ‘younger’ bit is especially grim

*or whichever race/nationality

This. I was about to make the exact same comparison.

CustardySergeant · 30/03/2024 16:11

Astartn "btw, how would you feel if the person you are currently seeing were to be masturbating online with a random online woman via video call?"

That's a very good question. OP?

ididnotcapturethecastle · 30/03/2024 16:12

Until you physically meet someone in the flesh, nothing is real. With this in mind, you were naive, if not stupid, to be steered into this position. Next time someone you have never met asks you to participate in something this, say no and cease contact with them again.

xSideshowAuntSallyx · 30/03/2024 16:12

I read the first post this morning thinking it was a joke. Seems not.

Is this what happens these days, people basically being cam girls so a man they've never met can have a wank to them(probably some bored, married man in East London).

It doesn't matter if you're ' pretty' or look like 'a 30 year old' have some self respect or has self respect gone too.

GreekDogRescue · 30/03/2024 16:14

Think about doing a reverse search on his photo and photo of his sick father in hospital. It’s amazing what can be revealed!

JJathome · 30/03/2024 16:15

Oh god op, you’re 40 and he’s 28 and you believe you look not far off his age?

what happened to you? What’s your story? Are you just lonely? Were you hurt by someone?

Vacantstare · 30/03/2024 16:16

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:18

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

Was all that detail really necessary?🥴

Plus this all sounds like a Daily Mail article waiting to be written...

MzHz · 30/03/2024 16:16

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 15:27

@MarygoldRose a pervert for having a consensual intimate video call with an adult , ok whatever you say.

consensual intimate video call with an adult you don’t know from Adam

stop kidding yourself that this is a relationship.

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 16:18

@Astartn not sure what you mean, I wasn't masturbating and I'm not cheating on the person I'm seeing as it's literally only been a few weeks since I met him.

OP posts:
QueenBitch666 · 30/03/2024 16:19

Theres no such thing as an atheist Muslim. ( apostate ) Their religion is so deeply ingrained. And the hospital photo screams scam. You're being taken for a fool. If you've one iota of sense you'll block

SofaSpuds · 30/03/2024 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That's a bit much @MarygoldRose!
Scammer-in-waiting Or Not, this was a sex call between 2 consenting adults - nothing perverted in it.

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 16:20

S@xSideshowAuntSallyx ok thanks gran

OP posts:
xSideshowAuntSallyx · 30/03/2024 16:21

QueenBitch666 · 30/03/2024 16:19

Theres no such thing as an atheist Muslim. ( apostate ) Their religion is so deeply ingrained. And the hospital photo screams scam. You're being taken for a fool. If you've one iota of sense you'll block

I missed the atheist Muslim bit, you're either a Muslim or an atheist you can't be both. Sounds even worse now.

swimlyn · 30/03/2024 16:21

So here we are, all doing the job of a good friend for you, OP

Ha ha ha ha. IPMSL...

Such nastiness on here. As usual.

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 16:22

Ok I will block him , you have given me enough doubt , it's not worth my peace of mind worrying about it everytime I speak with him

OP posts:
RosaMoline · 30/03/2024 16:22

I think you’re all wasting your time. The OP (again, if this is real) is hellbent on ignoring all the excellent advice given here.
Also, OP, If you’re seeing someone here, in the UK, why are you continuing contact with Mr Morocco? What’s to be gained? Scammer or not, complete waste of time.
Why am I even bothering to reply? It’s all a work of fiction anyway, isn’t it?

YoureALizardHarry11 · 30/03/2024 16:22

I agree with pp, do a reverse image search on the photos, sometimes no matches will show if they’ve flipped the image or put a filter on it so no matches doesn’t necessarily mean it’s not a scam, but if you do get results can be enlightening, I’ve caught a few liars out on OLD using googled photos this way.

Sidebeforeself · 30/03/2024 16:23

It is still the Easter holidays

RosaMoline · 30/03/2024 16:23

Just seen your update OP. That’s good anyway.

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