Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

[Worriedashell84]

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

Right, because only chubby short women who look their age are susceptible to scams? All you need to be is gullible, naive and have poor judgement and boundaries. All of which you appear to be in spades, OP.

And if you’re such a catch and have no difficulty meeting men, as you’ve said several times, why are you apparently thrilled Mr Booty Call didn’t ’ask You to take your top off’ for, gasp, a full fortnight? And only after a fortnight livestreamed himself wanking over you in your knickers, including a cumshot?

Truly a Prince among men.

(The genuinely shocking thing here is your age, OP. I thought you were some naive 20 year old who struggled with he real world and barely left her bedroom.)

When you put it like that, it’s almost a Mills & Boon novel

What do you want to happen with this “relationship “ ?
Do you him to him to come here to live ,or you go to Morroco and uproot your child or you to travel there frequently meaning you spend money that’s for your family ?

There is no future in this situation,only thing is you being scammed and hurt by someone who has made out he is some atheist Prince Charming except he is willing to wank on camera,he sounds so grim.

you need to be careful,who you show your tits too,and your bank balance,

OP please becareful none of this sounds good. Please protect yourself.

OP what is the point in all this?

you live in the UK and have a 7 year old child. He lives in Morocco. Unless he is very wealthy you have no chance of him coming over here to visit you so it would be down to you to go over there. Do you, a single white English woman, want to visit a man you’ve never met in a Muslim country to meet up with a man who claims to be a virgin?

if you have no intentions of doing the above, then what is the point in continuing this online situation? it’s not going anywhere.

You don’t know this man. You’ve gone from saying he’s Muslim to suddenly him not being religious at all.

There are plenty foreign men in England that you can try dating.

and fwiw, it doesn’t have to involve money for something to be a scam.

Sorry OP but why the eff are you remotely interested in someone who tosses himself off at a lens among other questionable behaviours? Raise your expectations. I know many men are shits but there are also many nice and even handsome men (if you care about looks) closer so you don’t need to have a long distance relationship. Plenty of Arab men of this description too since that seems to be your type although I’d be open to dating outside a type too personally.

The dad in hospital photo might be him laying the foundations to scam you. I’d be very wary now. He knows you’re comfortable enough with him to do an intimate call and that you really like him so he’s probably orchestrating this purposefully.

How do you know for sure you're wrong?

It takes years for people to get full residence and citizenship in many countries.

It's in their interests to keep the person sweet.

Even having kids in that country doesn't necessarily guarantee residence/citizenship after they're a certain age.

Does he know you have a child???

If a man posted about his strong attraction for ‘younger, Asian* women’ he’d be ripped apart, You sound like a lech op 🤮 the ‘younger’ bit is especially grim

*or whichever race/nationality

If you want to chat with, video, maybe meet attractive, dark men - you've got the whole of Southern Europe.

There may be scammers everywhere but it tends to be a culture in developing countries without a welfare state etc.

You'd be much less likely to encounter a scammer (or at the very least someone who "can't help" but bring financial and visa issues into it) if you go for Southern European men.

I'm definitely NOT suggesting attractive Moroccan men must be scammers and users. I know some attractive Moroccan men with much-loved, happy English wives.

However ... using an international dating site does suggest he's looking specifically for a foreign girlfriend overseas. Since plenty of European women visit Morocco, one might think he could meet 'em in the flesh, if he wants. And don't forget that a lot of Moroccan women are white, too. He's particularly interested in online relationships at a distance ... why?

It's great that you're clear about not sending him funds. But the online sex will escalate, won't it? I don't know if you're particularly vulnerable to sexual blackmail but your OP indicates you would be. That risk won't go away while you're exposing yourself to him on camera.

Where do you imagine this going? If it's a short-term adventure for you, you can't afford to worry about sexy videos (but you are worried). If you're hoping for a proper relationship, how do you see it working out?

I'm glad you've had a lovely fortnight! Now it's time to ask yourself a couple of hard questions.

I am British and married to a Moroccan who i met on a marriage site so i think i can give some advice here..

I have been married for over 5 years and have children together and living happily.

However when we first started chatting there was nothing sexual for the first 2 years.

Also my husband joked once recently that breasts are something that moroccan men arent too obsessed with because during their childhood they have to attend public baths with their mothers until they reach 6 years of age so they are all exposed to all sorts of breasts lol so the fact that you say that your man exploded at just the sight of your semi exposed tits does seem abit odd as it would have took more than that to get him to do that.. also he is 28 and then he says he is an atheist but looking for a relatio ship online.. ?as far as i know, atheism is not common in morocco especially if you are living with a religious family who would keep you on track as atheism is a crime there just as making a small bad comment about the moroccan king is. So for him to openly tell you he is an atheist is alittle unusual as well.

There are plenty of beautiful women in Morocco, even very very attractive white women with blonde/ Brunette hair, blue/ green eyes etc. that can be found in the North of Morocco so if he is an atheist who wants a relationship with no boundaries regarding sex due to him being an atheist he can just find one where he is.. why would he need to find one abroad and give himself the headache of having to speak another language to communicate with you? That too with a 7 year old kid? I mean.. he is a kid himself (28)

If you do find middle eastern men attractive there are plenty of honest and good men but the main problem is going to be that they are muslim and middle aged and would want you to be a muslim too because they would want their kids to grow up being muslims as well and are looking for long term solid relationships. That also means you would need to be solid with his family as well (and as far as i know, most of the british women on mumsnet hate their MIL, if this is you then regardless of you marrying an atheist or muslim, if he is a middle easterner you will need to LOVE his family. No "AIBU about MIL" posts will help you on that on.

Mine is 8 years older than me. He waited until he was 35 before he decided he wanted to settle down and have kids (before that he was working and paying for the house bills and his sisters education etc. Until his father and brothers decided to move their small business back to morocco which then gave him the chance to settle down) and therefore made a marraige profiel and i met him on there. He didnt ask me for any wierd pics and as a matter of fact, when i sent him a pic of me wearing a pair of skimpy pj shorts he told me not to send him revealing pics like that as we werent married 😅 this was 1 and a half years into our online relationship.

We met in person after 2 years and then got engaged and so on.

Im sorry about the long post im just trying to show you the difference.

If i was in your shoes my first concern would be the age.
Second would be the atheism thing.

Third if you are that seriius about this guy and it gets to the point where the realtionship has become real then to test him you need to drill it into his mind that you want to love in morocco as getting a visa etc. For him is impossible due to the new rules. 🤷🏻‍♀️ frighten him with these possibilities to see his reaction and if he is genuine then maybe you have got yourself a keeper? But dont give into him this early.

this

That’s what all the scammed women think though.

Well that was a bit daft, thank goodness you didn't flash anything, doubt you'll be on pornhub tho, be careful it's a mad world out there

It's doubtful that as a young Muslim man he wanted a relationship with you, OP.

He got what he wanted.

He has manipulated you enough to stay engaged and not block him after the sexy video.

He continues to manipulate and draw you in as he tries to figure out if he should use the blackmail angle to extract money from you or if he should use the sick relative pity money extraction method.

The first "money ask" will be a small amount and you will move your boundary. You said you won't send money, but that will change to, You won't send large amounts of money.

But, it's cool.
You like your lessons hard and he already has you where he wants you.

Often the first ask isn’t even money. It’s a gift card or a small item from Amazon. The grooming is drip drip drip.

I hope I'm not diverting the thread too much, but what you said, momager1, really made sense.
I think that you were (rightly) judging the situation, not the man.
How could you judge him, having not met him.

That's why I think it is sad that your friend didn't see that you were being protective of her, and she decided to put the barriers in place for ever.

But the probabilities in OP's situation, and in your friend's, point to scams.
Even more so in OP's case, because of the sexual/possibly recording stuff and the well worn cliches of sick relative, inexperience, etc.

So here we are, all doing the job of a good friend for you, OP

I'm puzzled as to why you're using an international dating site. Unless you plan on moving abroad; travel a lot; or want to sponsor someone's residency, why would you do international dating?

I don't recommend flashing your privates at someone you've never met if you aren't happy for them to potentially end up anywhere on the internet, or used against you at some point.

In your position I would probably remove myself from online dating while I figured out my boundaries.

You’ve done nothing wrong, and realistically, what is he going to do with any pics/screenshots?
sounds like he’s been a bit of a shit bag, but that’s everything about him, and nothing about you.
Don’t feel bad, try and let it go, and make sure your face isn’t in the shot at the same time as any body parts if you do it again
Hugs to you.

yes, exactly, confidence is good but On The tinder swindler (On Netflix) those women were young, slim, very attractive, they had jobs, families and friends. I guess on the one hand their healthy self-esteem made them think 'why wouldn't a pilot want me'. I would never have imagined he'd have real interest in me.