Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

[Worriedashell84]

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

This......

Or on BBC daytime tv with Kym Marsh telling ‘he’s not real’ at her

OP I think you need to learn from this. Sexual things should only happen in person. A saucy message to a long term bf is no issue. But being sexual with strangers is risky.

Some people are fine with this risk- they aren’t fussed.

You clearly aren’t one of those people. Please please take care of yourself and don’t do this again. Block this man and move on.

If you're OK with the fact that you're quite possibly this guys job, and one of several projects he's got in various stages right now..Shirley from Nuneaton on Monday who's almost ready to be asked for help with his course fees so he can get a job in the UK; Tuesday its Julie who fell hard and early and is paying his dad's medical bills already; you on Wednesday, maybe a tougher nut than Julie, but he's playing the long game...if you can KNOW that and still think its worth it for whatever you're getting, well you're a grown woman and that's up to you. Just brace yourself though, because when his fee for his services arrives and you don't want to pay, he will probably turn very nasty and hurtful.

I’ve sat opposite intelligent, educated, very savvy men and women who’ve lost their homes and savings to an online scammer crying hysterically because they can’t believe they could scammed by a man/woman they thought loved them.

Some of these scans go on for years, slowly grooming the victims. And I would say 95% of the time there’s been a photo of a sick relative somewhere along the line.

And as I’ve said previously you have no idea who you’re acting speaking and showing your tits to. AI and deep fake is so clever and believable these days.
The police have whole units dealing with cybercrime now and the vast majority of that involved sexual/romance scamming from outside the UK.

My 'favourite' of those was a man who (despite having turned up at the airport to meet a 'woman' who had conned him out of vast sums of money (and failed to arrive at the airport more than once previously) was brought into the studio, shown cast iron evidence he was bieng scammed by a team of people (probably all men) and definitely not even in the country his 'woman' was meant to be from, said he was still going to the airport the next day to see if "she" turned up.

This....

If he is a scammer they have their story worked out long before you've ever had contact with them.
They bide their time, keep you hanging on, they're in no rush, until you're reeled in.

I watch these shows with my head in my hands.

I remember the old man who really believed a 25 year old virgin wanted to marry 75 year old Albert from Wigan even after they FaceTimed the actual woman whose photos had been stolen.

Or the woman who sent £400k to Gerard Butler the actor who contacted her on FB messenger- the A lister’s communication channel of choice obviously

Absolutely this. I’m sure 65 year old Doris from Bolton was also happy to flash her tits at a deep fake video of a Moroccan man wanking while his dad was having open heart surgery.

have not read the whole thread (gave up at page 5,but have read all the OP's posts) I lost a dear friend because I voiced my opinion on her Morrocan BF that she met on line. I very wrongly assumed that as she was a short chubby legally blind white woman, can see but wears very thick glasses, that this prince of a man , tall , dark, handsome, was scamming her and I read her the riot act when she flew to Morroco to meet him in person. I was close enough to this woman that I was in the birthing room for her 3rd child along with her husband at that time. Her children are still very close to me. She hates me. She married him . That was twelve years ago. He lives with her in canada. He took any job he could. He has worked very hard and absolutely dotes on his wife. She is one of the lucky ones. I should have kept my mouth shut and realized that she was a grown woman with a good head on her shoulders.

This is straight out of Take a Break, isn’t it? It’s quite worrying that the OP can’t see it.

FWIW to give context to my reply- I bloody love Morocco. It is an incredible country. One of my white British friends married a Moroccan man and he is now one of my closest friends. I do not think all Moroccan men who want relationships with British women are scammers. It is racist and absurd to suggest that. But this has more red flags and stereotypes than I can count:

• vulnerable single parent with a young child.
• fetishising ‘Arab’ men.
• poor boundaries regarding sex (like, no hate from me if you want to get laid immediately - fill your boots. But it is what it is - don’t mistake it for care or love. It’s just the ride. And in the op’s case, it’s virtual. It’s not even real).
• over investing in the relationship in such a short space of time. Two weeks is nothing, OP. I’ve had cheese in the fridge for longer.
• unwell relative.

Relationships very rarely survive ‘against all odds’ even if they are genuine to start with (which I’m not so sure this one is). Even if they did, my own personal opinion is that it shouldn’t be something to aspire to. You have a child - why would you invite drama and trouble in to his life if you didn’t need to?

I was born in 82 can I be 32 instead for 42 please 😂

I wouldn't be surprised if, after all these warnings, the OP comes back to say that, OK, she's "seen the light" and won't be contacting him again - just to shut us all up. Then she will continue video calling as before, because 'deep in her heart she knows he's the one'. I wonder how old she is. She hasn't reacted to all the people saying she's 40 (i.e. assuming the 84 in her username is her birth year).

Also, quoting myself like a fool to say - all those red flags would still be red flags if the bloke was white British.

Oh dear, momager1.
This OP is already fooling herself and on dangerous ground.

This is a vanishingly rare outcome.
We all know the strong probability, almost certainty, that this is a scam.
You thought so yourself, with your friend.
And you were being a good friend to her; it is such a shame that she couldn't see it.

Islamophobia? Give it a rest.
Why do you think this young man is in contact with the older, English, lonely op?

Just don't keep in touch with him. This person is a complete stranger and you know nothing about him. Do not do this kind of thing again and give yourself all this angst.

@Giggorata I was wrong though. VERY wrong. So now, I will never interfere in anyones relationship again . He never asked her for a single penny, but I still thought he was a scammer. I know through her daughters that they are very happy and he has been nothing but an amazing husband. He was a teacher in morocco, but in canada he works in construction. I have never met him in person as she shunned me.. but according to her daughters he is amazing , and one daughter has two little ones now and he is the ultimate granda. I am happy for her. AND a bit ashamed of myself for judging before I knew the man

Look I don't know if it makes any difference but to comment on a previous post mentioning a chubby short woman, I'm told I am apparently "good looking" I'm slim and I've been told many times that I look in my early 30s. I'm 40.

I'm not the stereotypical overweight older woman who gets lured in by these younger handsome men because they can't believe their luck. I can quite easily attract men in real life. As I said before I'm already sort of seeing someone else anyway.

Nobody here can stop her, Custardy and it's up to OP if she ignores and carries on. It's her life to complicate/ruin if she chooses. <shrugs>

If you're seeing somebody already, OP, then what are you doing with this online man and why are you so invested in him?

Sorry to say, but conventionally attractive people do not need to do what you are doing.

Once again you're kidding yourself that you're different. You aren't. Gorgeous women in their 20s get scammed too. Regardless of looks and age, the more common unifying factor is this idea that it's some other 'stereotypical' women this happens to, not you. Which adds to the panic and shame when it finally sinks in that it is happening/has happened to you. Don't be a deluded fool. If you can attract men so easily IRL and indeed have one on the go, then all the more reason to stop fucking around with this random on the internet FFS.

@Worriedashell84 the reason i said chubby short woman..was that was actually what she said to me when she started talking with him online. She showed me his photo and I was blown away with how handsome he was . SHE said.. omg, I am short, chubby , on disability , I have nothing to offer this man. He could really HURT me. I told her she was beautiful and that there were lots of men right there in Canada that would be happy to have such a lovely woman in their life. She wouldn't listen. She believed all the lovely comments coming from him. I did not. I was wrong. He still tells her constantly that he loves her and she is beautiful. (her daughters tell me) They also were not on board with it in the beginning. Now they love him and love the fact he brings their mum joy

I hate to say it but even this comment suggests a level of delusionality and willingness to take what people say at face value. There is nobody age 40 who looks early 30s. Good for 40 yes but not almost a decade younger than their age.
People (like this guy) will say flattering things for their own benefit.

You can choose to believe him if you wish OP.

Your anxiety suggests that at least some part of your self-preservation instinct is working. (Intuition is often common sense in disguise .)

I fear that you are in line to be 'Jemima Puddleduck' and that you have met your foxy gentleman.