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Original poster

Blocked after an intimate video call and now I'm panicking

568 replies

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:18

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

OP posts:
AlwaysGinPlease · 30/03/2024 12:33

Oh OP good luck. You'll need it.

hot2trotter · 30/03/2024 12:34

I fully expect to see you in 'Take A Break' or the like in a few months.

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2024 12:39

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 11:10

I very much appreciate everyone's input , I don't take it for granted, as I said before Mumsnet is always my go to place for any problems I'm having or advice. And I like how people tell it how it is on here, so I promise to be very careful

But you're not being careful

Being careful would be blocking him and not doing it again!

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2024 12:39

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 11:12

@Daffodilsarentfluffy I'm sorry that happened to your mil.
If this guy was to ask me for money even in a month or 2 months time or whatever, there's no way I would give it to him. I'm not naive when it comes to money.

But you are regarding photos and videos

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 30/03/2024 12:40

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 08:17

I genuinely believe his father is sick, he's just showed me a picture of him with his dad all hooked up. I told him I hadn't heard from him and he wrote back that he's been to visit his dad and sent me a photo

Would you do that, OP? Send photos of your relative when they are at their most vulnerable? That's what he's done. It's the height of disrespect.

I read your posts and can hear he relief in your voice that you message is now delivered and that you think he hadn't blocked you. You have absolutely no idea. He may have blocked you temporarily, to make you stressed after such an intimate call - and you have leapt on this with "I wasn't blocked, Hooray!!".

You're now primed to make another mistake.

These men are not stupid, they do this as a 'career' and they are very good at it.

Remember your fear when you worried that you'd been recorded. You've now forgotten all about that and are fretting about this man's dad in hospital. That might be a random photo, who knows? Not your business.

If you were my mate I'd be doing all I could to din some sense into you because you're being stupid. I think this is why you haven't told your real life friends, because they would stop you, or try to.

Block this man now, while you still can.

lindyloo57 · 30/03/2024 12:41

If you are so stupid to do what you done you've only got yourself to blame, don't send him any money if he asks just block him.

Lucythecleaner · 30/03/2024 12:42

I would bet my bottom dollar that he's a scammer OP. He's probably used that line about his dad and the picture to many women. Scammer or looking for a visa
Be very careful

Daffodilsarentfluffy · 30/03/2024 12:44

Mil bought land for the house he was going to build for them. For their future. She visited several times...
Reckon his current native dw and dc live in it now.

Meanwhile fil took a second job to pay the loan.

clashreyne · 30/03/2024 12:46

You can’t reason with stupid clearly. I don’t know why OP bothered posting she’s clearly not going to listen.
you will be scammed by this person if you don’t wise up. Stop looking at the physical attributes and look at the bigger picture. He screams scammer.

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2024 12:46

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 12:00

Why can't I take someone at face value until they show me otherwise? I literally have no proof he's a scammer.

Because you have no proof he isn't

And it's not like there aren't clues

But you go and get on with it.

I hope it doesn't bite you in the arse.

And I'd be more worried about photos and videos to be honest

Cailin66 · 30/03/2024 12:47

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 12:00

Why can't I take someone at face value until they show me otherwise? I literally have no proof he's a scammer.

I think he sounds gorgeous based on your posts. A really lovely man. It's good too there is no religious clash what with him being an atheist. The fact it took a full too weeks before you got your clothes off for him shows a really genuine guy. Did you get a lot of thrill out of him coming on camera thanks to you. Ignore the negative comments on here. Most of the woman are plainly jealous. Arab men are hot. Pity his dad being in hospital means he wasn't able to contract you for two whole days. Probably difficult in Morocco to connect, I'm sure their internet is patchy. You need to take this to the next level and fly out to Agadir or Marrakesh to meet him and his family. There are loads of cheap flights. The food is amazing, the mix of French and Arab divine.

Nanny0gg · 30/03/2024 12:47

AdultFemaleWoman · 30/03/2024 11:56

I'm sure everything will be ok, he didn't seem like a sleaze to start with and you didn't get your face in it. Don't worry, but please learn a lesson and don't do it again!!

Show quote history

If he's a sleaze from the beginning, he wouldn't get very far now, would he?

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:49

hot2trotter · 30/03/2024 12:34

I fully expect to see you in 'Take A Break' or the like in a few months.

Or one of the Scam Documentaries that are featured on TV ALL THE TIME!

As a few posters have said, even the most intelligent, well-educated women fall for this kind of shit (that the OP is involved in right now,) because they are lonely, and desperate for attention for a man. So all their common sense goes out of the window!

Caththegreat · 30/03/2024 12:49

Are you mad? Don't do this again.its messing with your head and self esteem.For g sake showing your body online.If it is online it will never be off.There forever.Jeez aren't you guys supposed to be tech savvy? Oh the humanity

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:49

Cailin66 · 30/03/2024 12:47

I think he sounds gorgeous based on your posts. A really lovely man. It's good too there is no religious clash what with him being an atheist. The fact it took a full too weeks before you got your clothes off for him shows a really genuine guy. Did you get a lot of thrill out of him coming on camera thanks to you. Ignore the negative comments on here. Most of the woman are plainly jealous. Arab men are hot. Pity his dad being in hospital means he wasn't able to contract you for two whole days. Probably difficult in Morocco to connect, I'm sure their internet is patchy. You need to take this to the next level and fly out to Agadir or Marrakesh to meet him and his family. There are loads of cheap flights. The food is amazing, the mix of French and Arab divine.

Show quote history

WTAF. This is not a serious post surely? 😆

CustardySergeant · 30/03/2024 12:52

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:49

WTAF. This is not a serious post surely? 😆

Show quote history

I took it as sarcasm.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 30/03/2024 12:54

It doesn't mean the OP will though. It would be good if that poster could clearly state that it absolutely was meant sarcastically otherwise OP will probably print it off and use it as a blueprint for her next steps. Hmm

TeaGinandFags · 30/03/2024 12:55

OP if you left your front door open then chances are people would walk on by. Maybe not even notice. Possibly someone would peer in to make sure everything was alright. Thing is, you lock your front door because sooner or later someone will take your stuff.

Do that with your heart. Let it listen to your head and not your knickers. So he's sexy and so he's everything you want.

RUN.

A 28 yr old Moroccan man has a wife and children and will never be yours. You wouldn't just flash your tits to a stranger in real-life, so why in cyberspace?

RosaRoja · 30/03/2024 12:55

OP, what’s happening with the other bloke you’re seeing IRL?

Man alive.

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:56

CustardySergeant · 30/03/2024 12:52

I took it as sarcasm.

Show quote history

I hope it was! 😬 I have a really horrible feeling @Cailin66 is being serious though. Hard to tell. As a pp said, I think they need to clarify!

SabreIsMyFave · 30/03/2024 12:56

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 30/03/2024 12:54

It doesn't mean the OP will though. It would be good if that poster could clearly state that it absolutely was meant sarcastically otherwise OP will probably print it off and use it as a blueprint for her next steps. Hmm

Yep. Judging by her posts so far, she will very likely take that post to heart!

colouredball · 30/03/2024 12:57

@Copenhagener

But if he lives in Morocco, he’ll likely still need to outwardly perform what’s expected of him, even if he’s secretly an atheist.

This isn't really what I was taking about when I said 'He isn't Muslim anymore...'

ChipsCheeseAndGravey · 30/03/2024 13:01

With regards to the blackmail thing I think you’re best to just not do it again and forget about it. It’s good that he’s not blocked you but the pic of his dad sounds… suspicious.
When I split with my ex, his former girlfriend came to me and let me know he had shared intimate stuff of her online. I’m sure he did the same to me but I’ve never actually confirmed it. I used to wonder and get really stressed about it, but these days I don’t because it’s a waste of time. I know that’s harder than it sounds, but best not to stress until you know for sure.
tread carefully tho there are a lot of red flags here OP.

LeafUsAlone · 30/03/2024 13:02

He already has screenshots of your body - he can use tech to put them all together btw, very easy to do. And now pics of you, with one boob out is on the internet for your son to find in 5 years time.... fabulous! But it's ok, because he's handsome and hasn't asked you for money yet 😏

lookwhatyoudidthere · 30/03/2024 13:02

Worriedashell84 · 30/03/2024 07:18

So I got talking to a foreign guy on a dating site 2 weeks ago, a mixture of video calls and phone calls. There was never anything sexual the whole 2 weeks and in fact we were talking about lots of different things, like music , the meaning of life etc. He never once tried to get me to take my top off or anything the whole time. We were chatting most days as well.
However in the last video call, a couple of nights ago, things turned sexual. The app we used is end to end encrypted however in hindsight I'm now panicking that he video recorded it or has screenshotted stuff, especially now that he has blocked me.
I never took my bra or pants off , but I did show him my breasts a bit with my bra on ( I tried not to show my face in that but I can't be sure) and I did show my hand touching underneath my underwear a bit but obviously my face isn't in it.

At most there might be a picture of me with my bra on but showing my breasts and I also didn't show them both at the one time, if he has screenshotted that part.
I should say he was very aroused during the call and actually came during it. He also showed himself down there fully erect and coming. (Sorry if tmi, just trying to get all context in)
If it's a case where he realizes he just didn't fancy me and has blocked me, then fine, I can deal with that.
But if he has screenshotted stuff or recorded anything then yes I would be a bit worried.
So my question is am I jumping to conclusions and panicking needlessly? Would you be worried about this?

I only realized I was blocked today which was 2 days after the call. I can't believe how stupid I've been, I actually liked the guy.
I think the fact that he never tried to make things sexual for the whole 2 weeks made me trust him and actually it was sort of me who initiated it in the last call as I really fancied him. He also works in IT which makes me worry more as he is IT savvy.
I am never ever doing an intimate video call with anyone ever again.

So should I just forget about this awful judgement call and vow to never do anything like this again or should I actually be worried?
I think the fact that he has blocked me has made me think he has done or is doing something sinister.
Sorry for the ramble,, I'm just actually panicking this morning

What an amateur! He didn't even want to get your knickers off in person. Just your regular wanker. Don't give him another thought OP. You are probably too hot for him.