Despite a lot of advice suggesting otherwise, I chose to respond with "April", in that it directly answers his question without warranting or inviting further response I think you’ll end up regretting that decision in the future. I’ve had a similar situation and I promise you that there is no positive outcome for you here. Best case scenario is that it delays your healing by months. Worst case is that he messes with your head so much that it breaks your heart and causes you all sorts of upset.
Surprisingly, he replied within seconds, offering assistance with the animal and inquiring about my well-being Well yes, of course he did. Because he doesn’t give a shit about the animal; he was using it as an excuse to have a conversation with you because you didn’t fall for his ‘how are you’ opening gambit. If I owned one, I’d bet my house that he has absolutely zero interest in this animal. How many times has he been to visit it since you moved it up there? It’s not about the animal. It’s about manipulating you into replying to him.
While many of you are suggest blocking and moving on, I'm hesitant to completely shut the door. My gut tells me he might be grappling with doubts about his decision and too much of a coward to outrightly say it Is that your gut? Or is that wishful thinking? And if he’s having doubts and realising that there isn’t a queue of beautiful women waiting to have nsa sex with him, isn’t he just hedging his bets with you to decide whether he prefers single life or a relationship with you? If he keeps that door open, he’s got a way to come back in if things don’t work out for him, but doesn’t have to go as far as actually making you any promises about the future. If any of those gorgeous Instagram girls came knocking, would he still be messaging?
I am not saying I'm waiting on him changing his mind. Farthest from that, I feel really self-focused and am letting go every hour that passes and all my energy is going into moving on And yet, he’s still there, in the background, taking up drips of your emotional energy. He’s the human equivalent of a slow puncture. You might feel like you’re able to move on, but you can’t properly heal until he’s gone.
I'm just saying, I guess, I still love him & no, I won't settle for breadcrumbs. But I also know he's not an abusive narcissist who I need to block for the sake of my safety and mental health Of course you still love him. Those feelings don’t go away overnight. And he might not be an abusive narcissist or a risk to your safety. But he is unbelievably selfish. What possible motives could he have for contacting you? Perhaps he’s feeling guilty and is worried about you? Well that’s all to do with him and his conscience, isn’t it? Making him feel better and less guilty. Or perhaps he thought that you’d be begging and pleading with him to change his mind. So that’ll be his ego; wanting to know that you are actually broken hearted over him and not merrily getting on with your life. Or perhaps he’s missing you and thinking that he made the wrong decision? He hasn’t driven down and asked to talk things through, has he? He hasn’t unfollowed any of those local girls on Instagram, has he? He hasn’t said sorry for how suddenly things ended? Even the nicest, kindest people have it in them to be selfish when it comes to their own love life.
You spent three years loving this man. Travelling up and down the country to see him. Being faithful to him and trusting in him that he was being faithful to you. And after three years of that, he dumps you over the phone without even discussing what the problem was or how you could work through it together? Where was his loyalty and his love and care for you? And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if it was an argument over nothing that blew up out of nowhere. Please don’t fall for his rubbish, it’s such a cliche.