The famous 'how are you?' text from the ex...

[PiningPenelope]

Bf and I broke up after a fight last week. I wanted to work things through, he decided end it. I handled it with what I could muster of dignity and accepted his decision.

He's since been responding to my social media Stories, sent the odd message. Then went quiet for a couple of days as I didn't want to accept breadcrumbs and was in a lot of pain.

Then this morning I get 'How are you?'

Now, have any ladies on here ever successfully reconciled with an ex from this place? I am interested in reconciliation but I don't want to beg for someone who doesn't want me.

But I'm worried if I don't respond to him, he will think I've moved on.

Any advice how to respond to the 'How are you?' when the hope is reconciliation?

I've replied, thanked her for checking in, said I'm doing good now and that it did come as a shock initially when he called it off.

I think it's a very good point about him spinning sob stories.. so I'm glad I've got the bit about HIM ending it in there!

Your response was perfect. Polite, short, shows you're not pining for him and shows he dropped a bomb shell but you've dealt with it.

This really blew up in his face didn't it. I bet he's so shocked you aren't desperately waiting around and hanging on to any thread of attention he's giving you.

This hasn't gone at all how he expected has it
Good call on your reply to the friends wife
I bet he has spun a tale about how he can't understand what's happened between you
I got ghosted by an ex who I'd been with 15 months and we worked in the same place
It broke me
He told everyone I ended it
Total bs

I agree with pp's, I suspect he was cross, heat of the moment and thought he'd have more fun single. But he's realised it's not much fun and now wants it all back.

I expect it's been quite a shock to him to find that you're not waiting with open arms for his sorry arse to come back. I bet he's spun a tale that you've dumped and ghosted him, he's playing the victim - you've played a blinder by remaining calm and classy. Good response too

This, with bells on. I think it’s not working out to be as much fun as he thought it was going to be and he’s now regretting his decision. I also suspect that he had ideas of keeping you in reserve. Giving you enough attention so that you’d be willing to puff up his ego if he wanted, but not going as far as apologising or asking for another chance, just in case one of those dolly birds he has started following on social media decides that he’s just too wonderful to resist. At which point, he can bin you off safe in the knowledge that he can remind you that you’ve got no reason to be upset with him because you’re both single.

I think you’ve handled it so well. I’m sure the best friend’s wife has been asked to message you and you’ve handled it with huge amounts of dignity. I would consider whether you want to block her now though, just so nothing else comes through that drags you back down again.

She just replied that the things that are meant for us won't pass us by... Think she was well intentioned bless her.

I don't like that reply. It sounds like she's saying you two will get back together and that's not helpful. Or maybe I'm overreading.

I’d interpreted it as her saying it just wasn’t meant to be and this sort of nonsense won’t happen with the person the OP is meant to be with.

Very odd and random response from her but whatever, you don't have to engage. I suspect she's trying to say some version of "if it wasn't meant to be, so be it" but odd. But then, you said yourself you liked her but weren't exactly good friends.

I suspect that EITHER he's told everyone it was mutual, you're still good friends etc etc. This is the classic story - they don't want to look like the bad guy AND they want to get out there dating asap which is easier if it's a supposedly amicable break up made as a joint decision. OR he's claiming that you are heartbroken and he feels so guilty but you just weren't right for him and were super clingy/needy whatever and now he's TRYING to be nice but you are refusing to engage with him and he's SOOOOO worried about your mental health.

To be honest, her response makes me think the second. Originally I was sure it was the first.

Ahh ok, see I read her reply as really well meaning 😂but my friends have said the same as you guys.

Maybe I'm too naive about these things!

I'm pretty certain that text was a fishing exercise, especially if she's never or rarely messaged you before. I'd draw a line under it now, no need to reply. Your ex is a right saddo, just can't let go of the need for attention, can he?