The famous 'how are you?' text from the ex...

[PiningPenelope]

Bf and I broke up after a fight last week. I wanted to work things through, he decided end it. I handled it with what I could muster of dignity and accepted his decision.

He's since been responding to my social media Stories, sent the odd message. Then went quiet for a couple of days as I didn't want to accept breadcrumbs and was in a lot of pain.

Then this morning I get 'How are you?'

Now, have any ladies on here ever successfully reconciled with an ex from this place? I am interested in reconciliation but I don't want to beg for someone who doesn't want me.

But I'm worried if I don't respond to him, he will think I've moved on.

Any advice how to respond to the 'How are you?' when the hope is reconciliation?

That's great,have a lovely weekend.

This

Why are men so shit? How can they treat you like this when for three years you have consistently loved them, supported them, respected them, honoured them, pleasured them, encouraged them. Fuck them!

It's far more depressing that you'd even consider getting back with someone who's treated you like shit.

Come on, where's your self-respect? Men only behave like this because you enable it, and even worse go back for more when they've dumped you.

The last one that did this to me got the response "Who is this?" as I'd already deleted the twonk's phone number. I presumed the woman on his nursing course he'd shacked up with must have thrown him out. My life has generally been much better since.

That's the best Freudian slip ever. Mind field says it so much better.

These guys are so arrogant messing with your head to big themselves up.

well done op ! Write a list of all his bad points ans stick them on the fridge.

plan fun things to look forward to.

you’ll probably have a wobble in a few days - we aren’t going anyway ! Just text us instead

Glad you are feeling more positive this morning. It's a bright and sunny morning here, hope it is for you too. Easier to get out and do something nice -walk in the park? Pavement café? Wander round the shops? Read a book in the garden?- when the sun is out. You'll be grand OP, stay strong 😀

Ugh, the following thirst traps.. I can relate. Their fragile sleazy ego needs some massaging.
OP I am loving the positive fuck him energy on this thread.
Stay silent! It is the thing that will hurt him the most.
Silence and dignity are so POWERFUL. I

Remember this if you feel yourself slipping: when you didn't reply, you felt empowered!

Also make sure you have an accurate translation of his question in your mind at all times. Whenever a recent ex asks 'How are you?' doesn't mean 'How are you?' It means: has my absence wrecked you? Are you in pieces that this prize specimen of humanity - ME - has rejected you? Cos you should be. I mean, I'll be really pissed off and ego-wounded if you're not. This is about me, not you.

This is just about him wanting to tell everyone it was mutual and amicable and you are still friends. Keep ignoring g.

Don't reply. Silence is power.

Power doesn't matter. It's not a battle of egos. It's not about how she appears to him or her position in relation to him. He is an irrelevance.

Silence is dignity.

It's all about you, @PiningPenelope , and how you appear to yourself.

What were you fighting about?
DP and I have done this push-pull dance.
Thankfully it's settled now.

Channel your inner Dua Lipa. Play “New Rules” on repeat in your head!

https://open.spotify.com/track/4LihUZcWy0B6lGLqcJ8u9B?si=ktdGDuOkTmK2mH6I1JqzCg

Glad to see you feel better today!

And maybe mute him/block him on SM? You don’t have to see his comments when you’re now separated and he is bring a prick.

There's too little background here to tell. There's a huge difference between being in a relationship with a decent person, and having an argument with both at fault, impulsively ending it to later regret it, and a man who's paying with your emotions as a means of control. You were there, not us, so which sounds most likely to you?

@Watchkeys holding the power means he has no power over her to me. Not an ego thing. No one gives a fuck about that these days surely?

That's what would matter to me.

@Axx

I'd still say that that was referencing yourself by your reference to another person. Why does he even get a mention? Mr Smith next door holds no power over me, but I've never really acknowledged that, because there is no ego involved.

Stating or feeling that you 'have the power' or another person 'has no power' is the definition of 'an ego thing'.

I didn't reply, and you know what? Told I felt LOADS better! Been out on a work trip and didn't think about him all day!

However I've just seen he's messaged again. I haven't blocked, I archived his messages, but saw I had a new one and so had a look.

This time he's asking about a pet of mine.

I didn't answer your first question dude. Take the hint.

I had a terrible breakup a few years ago. He cheated, basically living a double life, the other woman didn’t know I existed blah blah blah. anyhoo they are still together, married, child etc. I couldn’t be arsed with more drama by telling her and so I just went on my merry way and dealt with my heartbreak. I STILL get a how are you message to this day every few months. It just makes me eye roll and I ignore them!
I don’t understand how these men don’t cringe at themselves! It’s so dull.

Sounds like he doesn’t have any other sex lined up…

No response is a response.

Well done op👍👍stay strong xx

I was hoping that you hadn't replied after reading your post yesterday. So glad you stayed strong and resisted the urge to respond to him!

Women do this too i’m afraid - it’s not about gender.