The famous 'how are you?' text from the ex...

[PiningPenelope]

Bf and I broke up after a fight last week. I wanted to work things through, he decided end it. I handled it with what I could muster of dignity and accepted his decision.

He's since been responding to my social media Stories, sent the odd message. Then went quiet for a couple of days as I didn't want to accept breadcrumbs and was in a lot of pain.

Then this morning I get 'How are you?'

Now, have any ladies on here ever successfully reconciled with an ex from this place? I am interested in reconciliation but I don't want to beg for someone who doesn't want me.

But I'm worried if I don't respond to him, he will think I've moved on.

Any advice how to respond to the 'How are you?' when the hope is reconciliation?

Carry on ignoring. Let's see what his next pathetic message is 😆

How pathetic is he?

OP this is now manipulation
He sounds so immature

I encourage you to think about all the red flags you missed and all excuses you made for him during the course of the relationship

Stay strong

You will find 100x better

Keep ignoring him! He's trying to get a response.
The "How are you" text gives booty call vibes every single time!
If this was a genuine reconciliation attempt, it would be more than just how are you. There would be effort there. Just leave it be OP and move on! Honestly you will feel better for it!

Awwww. Bless, two sad faces.... Two more reasons to ignore him.
Stay strong OP, you're amazing and he probably can't for the life of him work out what's happened. Let's do a bingo card on what the next message might be about. 😁

Please don’t reply, even to tell him to stop messaging you.

Just block him. Youve no reason to be involved in his drama at this stage

Just block him.

Even if you are not responding (well done by the way), you are still getting dopamine hits from the messages.

What you need to do is absolutely block his number and his social media profiles so you're not tempted to snoop again. Cold turkey is the only way you'll feel clean and regrow your self esteem.

Op. You might consider you’ll respond when/if he messages a statement that indicates he is willing to take a risk and say what needs to be said, if his intention is to find a healthy way forward.

Otherwise, there is nothing to respond to. Currently, he’s creating a hollow drama. Why would you freely enter into a situation where you put your feelings through the washer?

God he is pathetic. Find power in the patheticness!

Not even mature enough to message something like I'm really sorry I think I've made a mistake, can we talk?

He appears to be a rubbish excuse for a man. Give him no more time.

Off topic, but I like "mind field" it took me a while to work put it should be "mine field", but mind field sounds like a headfuck

Ignore, block and move on.

@PossumintheHouse you made my spit out my cola with laughter 😂

I think he is asking when you are moving the animal because he wants to know if you've taken any action. As in, are you just leaving it near him as an excuse to go up there.

He's looking to boost his ego.

As there's been nothing from him that makes him sound decent in any way, I think you should seriously block him now.

I think in a few weeks you won't believe you ever liked him.

Why is he not blocked by now ?!!!

Blocking shows she cares. Not blocking shows complete indifference. As pp says no response is a response and very powerful.

I have a slightly different perspective, I agree his texts are unnecessary but I’d be inclined to reply and say “I’m doing ok thanks but it’s not helpful to me in for you to message me following the break up. please stop, i won’t be replying again.”

Totally understand that this won’t work for everyone but I find personally I prefer to clearly communicate what I want. There’s no loss of face in the above message if you did want to respond.

Why would she tell him that and make herself seem vulnerable when at the moment she appears strong. She owes him nothing.

Then she should mute him.

I didn’t say she owes him anything and I don’t think she would be giving him anything by replying.

Not everyone has to show strength by ignoring - it’s not the only way to deal with things. It’s also ok to tell someone not to contact you.

🤣

JUST BLOCK AND DELETE HIM!

Reading your posts is like watching someone stick a knitting needle in their eye while crying because it hurts!

The ONLY reason he’s messaging you is precisely because you haven’t replied! As soon as you respond he’ll go back to being a knob. He WANTS you to chase him. Don’t do it, under any guise whatsoever.

Despite a lot of advice suggesting otherwise, I chose to respond with "April", in that it directly answers his question without warranting or inviting further response.

Surprisingly, he replied within seconds, offering assistance with the animal and inquiring about my well-being.

While many of you are suggest blocking and moving on, I'm hesitant to completely shut the door. My gut tells me he might be grappling with doubts about his decision and too much of a coward to outrightly say it. For now.

I am not saying I'm waiting on him changing his mind. Farthest from that, I feel really self-focused and am letting go every hour that passes and all my energy is going into moving on.

I'm just saying, I guess, I still love him & no, I won't settle for breadcrumbs. But I also know he's not an abusive narcissist who I need to block for the sake of my safety and mental health.

But you are settling for breadcrumbs.

this is so sad to watch.

youve been advised to block not because people think you are unsafe, but because you are still waiting for him to say he wants you back, is sorry and wont be an arsehole again.