I honestly don't know where to start ! I found out 12 months ago that my husband was having a long term affair. It went on my 3/4 yrs . To say I was devastated is an unstatement . After I found out he denied it until he knew I had 100% proof . He promised it was over and it was me he wanted ,saying all the right things and I decided to give it another go as I was still in love with him and probably in denial..After 6 months he went away on a work trip while away I discovered a old phone of his that was still connected up to Facebook but it had no sim card , I heard messenger go off and low and behold it was her texting him , asking him was he enjoying his work trip . I just couldn't believe he was still in contact with her ..Up until this I hadn't told a single soul about his affair as I didn't want anyone knowing if I was going to stay . Once he got home I packed his bags but he wouldn't move out, so I moved into my own room ...I felt I had enough and told my family and my close friends that my marriage was over .. I went to a solicitor for advice and started separation process..Now he is all sorry , even cried several times saying " your the person I love and I realise now how lucky I was to have you " today he told me he can't imagine life without me ...I wish he would stop trying to fix it now as he is making me feel guilty for going ahead with separation...I do know all the neighbours know he had the affair as apparently most knew before I found out ...I was so sure I wanted out but today I have this doubt in my head saying " can I fix it ,should I throw away a 30 yr marriage. I'm still relatively young at 52 .. We have four children, one due to get married next yr .
..Why am I suddenly so conflicted ?? Have anyone come back from this ??