Dumped, but he's text. No contact or reply?

[Soggybuiscut]

I've just been dumped over the phone about an hour ago by bf of 3 years.
He's now text me some love hearts... Mind fuck.

Do I reply, or ultimately go no contact and just ignore?

I'm obviously in turmoil and want him back, but with perspective do think I deserve better.

Time to block him on all platforms so he can't message you again. Keep telling yourself you're well rid of this loser!

Well done - keep ignoring his texts! @Soggybuiscut

He’s clearly trying to act as if this isn’t down to him. Having read your updates about him you’re well rid.

Well done on not caving,your the best gf.. Charlie boy should have thought about that before.as pp have said block and enjoy single life for a bit.

He wants to see you beg him.

I mean, what is the POINT of that message? What response is he trying to provoke?

Dude, YOU decided it was over. I'm already moving on. I'm not interested in checking in. Bye!

I'm kinda tempted to reply "It's all good. Wish you happiness & contentment! Bye!" ... But in reality I think leaving him unread is even more powerful. Will not reply I think.

Your all right though. With a bit of perspective I've genuinely realised I had a attachment to a person who was not good for me. I can do a lot better.

Silence is definitely the answer and you have way more self-control than me! Keep going!!

Absolutely leave him on read. Do not reply, do not give him any power. If he is anywhere near as bad as you make him sound, he will like the idea that he can make you jump and possibly keep you dangling.

I think just one of the things on your list would have had me running for the hills, never mind the whole lot! You deserve better.

Block him?

@Soggybuiscut You had an attachment to a nasty piece of work who wouldn’t be good for anyone.

Well done for realising who is really is and ignoring them messages.In my opinion he either likes the control and he is trying to play mind games love bombing ... or he may well have reflected on what his done he probably realises you were a good thing and wants you on the back burner in case things dont work out for him . But either way his done you a really big favour. Put your energy into you from now on instead of him.

@Gladespade I know, it's ridiculous. I've literally been hypnotised / sleepwalking my way through the most ridiculous relationship.
Lesson thoroughly learned. No looking back now, only forwards.

@Wildflower86 thank you, I will.

I don't WANT to think the worst of him & assume he's playing games. But then I've always tried to see the best of him / make excuses for him etc, and looking at the list maybe I've been an idiot trying to see the best in him.
So maybe he is playing games and this is about control. Either way I don't care. I'm done. His second message has actually helped me flick the switch to 'ICK'.

Yuk!!!
Hes just trying to get you to reply by you thinking hes being reasonable...he isnt. Its just to get what he wants.
Its self serving bullshit.get lost indeed. Wd OP.

I just have to say, you’re handling this with so much class and dignity. And he sounds like he’d like to go back, but only if you roll over and beg (and never question any relapses ever again!). I think you’ve realised you’re worth more. That his faults aren’t what you want in a forever relationship. Stay strong. Lick your wounds, cry. But keep moving forward. Read the list of you waver.

He's talking as if he's the injured party! The cheeky bugger. Like...fucking diddums mate!
Oh boohoo the world is so mean it made you do drugs and get called out and so you had to break up. Because heaven forbid anyone pull you up on your bullshit and expect you to behave like a decent human being. Pfffft.

What a self involved narcissist he is.
Well done for not messaging. He's shot himself in the foot and not to trivialise what it's putting you through but, it's hilarious when assholes like him get their comeuppance.

Heads up btw, might be wise to change your locks if he's ever had a key.

Don't be surprised if he tries to contact you in other ways seen as you aren't reading his texts. Give your friends and family the heads up. His sort like to tell them they are worried about you etc...trying to fish for info/damage your reputation first.

That’s a great reply and if you’re going to reply I’d send that, BUT, as I said before, not saying anything leaves him on the back foot so totally agree with what you’ve decided for now. He won’t be able to sign you off and have done, he’ll be left in a state of bewilderment - are you devastated? which means he’s a sack of shit and all your family and friends will know - or are you too busy out having fun to even read/respond? which means he wasn’t that big of a deal to you and you’re already getting over him.

With the stuff he’s put you through it’s the least he deserves.

Good for you 🌟

The next message will be...

"I'm finding this soooo hard - I thought we'd spend the rest of our lives together "

🙄

I'll vote: 'at least reply and let me know you're alright'.

Followed by 'why are you ignoring me? I thought you were nice'. Or some similar goady bullshit.

I reckon he'll follow up with the 'can't we be adult about this and be friends'. Wanker.

That list you posted on everything that's wrong with the relationship is just horrendous. He's extremely abusive and a cheat too. please do the Freedom programme.

Re his message above, it's all about him. it's like he wants you to comfort him after he ended it. Forget the pain he's caused you, he wants you to kiss his pain better.
Is there a reason you haven't blocked him?

Sorry you’re hurting right now, OP. But read your list again. He is a nightmare! Hooked on drugs and alcohol, and probably on porn too. Unfaithful. For those two reasons alone you’ll never be able to relax and trust him. Add to that, he’s uncaring towards his child, poor little soul. He’s dirty in his personal habits, unhygienic …

You can do so much better, OP! Don’t let him play on your sympathy.

He's a nightmare and you're well rid. But, this is the beauty of silence. It's not for use with decent people. But for people like him it's the only way he'll ever think about his actions while you hold onto your dignity. Keep moving forwards!

He sounds like an absolute arsehole
Please please don't go back to him
Don't reply to him
Just move on