On being called a "pricktease"

[BimbledAgain]

The background is we've been dating a couple of weeks. We've not dtd yet but are indulging in some heavy petting on the sofa. I'm not ready to have sex and call a halt to it when he begins to push for way beyond what I want. Later he calls me a prick tease for not following through to sex and tells me it's wrong that he had to go home and masturbate. We later discuss his 'pricktease' comment and he apologises.

Fast forward a few weeks and our relationship is fully sexual (and it's great - amazing in fact), but another discussion ensues where he tells me I shouldn't start any physically intimate activity if I'm not prepared to follow through to full intercourse or if I don't tell him upfront that it's not going to end in full sex, so at least he's prepared to not expect that outcome. Once again I'm called a prick tease for what happened in that original evening.

I find the comments highly disturbing. Is this really how people conduct themselves sexually. I can't imagine ever imposing such obligations on another person for something that to me should happen organically and without expectation.

That's fine that you always want kissing to lead to sex, not an issue at all

But I would find having to know that, having to consider that the moment I started kissing, or even before, having to weight it up and make a decision so much of a turn off.

The reality is if the OP is left to go with the flow she might feel like you, that she wants to carry on every time.

But if she has to start thinking it through rather than just enjoying what's happening it's actually potentially more likely to kill the mood for her.

I've often been told I have a man's attitude to sex

Plenty of women want to follow through to full sex when they get physically intimate with their partner. This just sounds like "women don't enjoy sex like men do, so women who do must be like men"...

For many it's not all about the full meal though, snacks are just as important! 😅

And that's for men as well as women!

I agree. You need to raise your bar quite a lot OP.

The guy who raped me was surrounded by his supportive family in court. They were 100% convinced that I was lying because the man they knew couldn't possibly be a rapist. They were wrong though. And they'd known him a hell of a lot longer than you've known this guy.

Yeah, it's all a bit "I'm not like other girls!"

Women can enjoy sex. And men can enjoy some light intimacy without sex.

Exactly!

His attitudes to women, sex and consent are really badly messed up.

Continuing to be in a relationship with him will be emotionally and possibly physically damaging to you. It may have done damage already.

It’s not your responsibility to help him straighten his attitudes out either.

The only man who has ever called me a prick tease was a nasty full blown narcissist.

Run. Seriously. He loathes you and loathes women.

because sometimes you just want to hug and kiss a partner (it's called love and showing affection) without the need to go into full blown intercourse. This guy doesn't understand that (or not too interested in affection unless it leads to full blown intercourse), that's a lot of pressure and removes the fun away. Ditch him because it's only going to get worse.Long live romance.

Look, the DEFAULT position is that you won't have full & complete intercourse. Man or woman, at any stage of proceedings, that's the default.

Tell him. It's No until and unless it turns into Yes.

Consent is enthusiastic, ongoing participation. If it's ever less than enthusiastic, and if it ever stops being ongoing, consent is absent. Assume consent and you're a rapist.

For your education, @BimbledAgain - I've hopped out of bed mid-shag, in relationships and one-night stands. I did it because I'd become uncomfortable or bored. All over the world, people are doing it because the baby's woken up, the kids have walked in on them, one of them feels sick or pulled a muscle, an important delivery's arrived, they've just noticed the time ... it's normal to abandon sex!

I'm afraid this guy's sexual entitlement is a gigantic warning flag, however nice he is otherwise. PPs are right, you ought to leg it out of there.

How old is this loser? Prickteaser is an insult I associate with teenage boys. It would give me the immediate ick. Please ditch this sad bastard. Bad, bad things could come from his stance.

The only prick in this scenario is him. If you've already having concerns about these sort of comments (and righly so) so early into the relationship, its probably best to end if before you develop any feelings for him.

That entitlement is the problem. There is no future here.

*Look, the DEFAULT position is that you won't have full & complete intercourse. Man or woman, at any stage of proceedings, that's the default.

Tell him. It's No until and unless it turns into Yes*

This is it exactly, thank you @Garlicking that was an articulate response and is exactly the issue with the guys request because he's ignoring this basic principle

The topic isn't funny at all but your comment made me think of the term pricktease in a whole new way 😂

He sounds awful.

I have met guys who have expressed similar attitudes before and they disgusted me. Like, they'd dump a girl if she wasn't sleeping with him within three weeks.

How about he starts off by not expecting sex then he won’t be disappointed 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Is it 1976?

Well he's got the pricktease comment correct, in the sense he's clearly a prick..

It's big of him to say he won't mind..

Get rid.

😅😂😅

Watch the Tea Consent video online then send him the link to it. That should help him realise how ridiculous he is being and you can rightfully change your mind at any given time!!

It's a good video to share with all men and women!

Whoah! I don’t care how good the sex is - get rid of him.

F ING hell.
Another piece of crap.
So glad I don't have to or need to waste my time with "dating".
🤢

He sounds vile. Sorry.

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