A true definition of 'single' and why it kicks ass

[Stratos72]

Capital 'S' 'Single' should be defined as a state in which you're not a) still pining for an ex, b) pining for a particular crush, or c) pining for a relationship generally.

Because let me tell you, it feels fantastic. It feels like what human adulthood is actually meant for.

Nature doesn't give a flying fuck whether you're happy, it only cares that you reproduce. That's why it curses you with overwhelming lust, jealousies, you name it.

And that's why you wake up one morning and your life has become nothing other than a series of reactions and obligations - some of which might be irreversible.

That's why you can intellectually know someone isn't worth your time, doesn't respect you, whatever - yet your 'heart' still leaps when they text.

Nature just wants those damn babies.

Next time you break up, I recommend NOT looking to someone else to fill the void AND until you're truly, undeniably, non-negotiably OVER your ex - if only just to experience the feeling of emancipation and freedom for a while.

You can always get back to the drama then if you want. But at least you'll be doing it with your eyes open.

Why ignore one question and not the others? Also the suggestion was to report you not carry on a private message conversation
Although either option you'd be destroyed, loser

@Whyisegg Why ignore one question and not the others?

Because my response to @Superlambaanana was on-topic, and my response to you would have been continuing an off-topic discussion.

Also the suggestion was to report you not carry on a private message conversation

Actually, there was a suggestion to carry on the discussion in private. What @JamSandle said was:

"You guys are derailing the thread. Please take it to DMs. Its putting a negative slant on what was an uplifting thread."

Although either option you'd be destroyed, loser

Well, I think we know who the troll is.

The last point though is that this very discussion we are having is indeed off-topic, so I will not be continuing this either.

Future comments from myself will strictly be on-topic.

But your so called response was not in sequence. And my last question 'Why does anything women do 'MAKE' men hate them? Aren't all adults responsible for their own actions?' garnered zero response. Just so all future readers are clear

@Whyisegg And my last question 'Why does anything women do 'MAKE' men hate them? Aren't all adults responsible for their own actions?' garnered zero response. Just so all future readers are clear

It did get a response, because you finally sent me a private message about it. Which is what you were asked to do, about 10 comments ago.

If ever the point needed to be definitively proven that men spoil everything for women and we are far better off without them....

Why do you think that? I get that my previous comment pointed out many of the disadvantages of being single, but I was speaking from my own experience and I am offering a balanced perspective.

Your response was to ask me what I said 😂😂😂 I can copy and paste to the end of time LOL

Been single for 25 years, absolutely no intention of changing that. No drama, just free.
Then someone like shuggles pops up to prove why we feel like this!

@shuggles you have not been offering a balanced perspective, you’ve been derailing by repeatedly asserting your opinion as the right one on a thread where women are discussing the joy they are finding in no longer having to suffer the tedium of men giving opinions that weren’t asked for and dominating every conversation because they need to be heard over everyone else.

Why would you whe you are so happy single? What’s the point ?

Being single is not a universally positive experience. There are advantages and disadvantages with being single. Given that I have been single for far longer than the overwhelming majority of people, I have a thorough understanding of the disadvantages.

I offered an explanation of the disadvantages just to ensure that people who embark on being single understand what they are getting into.

Regarding end of life sickness; A senior nurse once told me how very often women diagnosed with fatal or otherwise debilitating illnesses are simply abandoned by their male partners. The opposite it seems however; is rarely true.

Find someone with a good heart. Pay attention not to how they treat you, but how they treat other people. When they interact with retailers, waiters, service-providers, how do they talk to people? How do they interact with co-workers? What is their attitude towards animals, nature, and the environment?

If they do not have a heart that cares about other people and animals, then they don't care about you either.

Why thank you for this. However, as the newly widowed wife of a medical consultant, your advice is probably not for me. I contributed to this post as a mere cautionary tale, for those who choose to remain in miserable relationships as a hedge against potential serious illness.

No answer was forthcoming, shocking

Thank goodness this definitive guide to the downsides of single life exists via your comment

Absolutely! I have zero interest in his opinion hence why I post on a predominantly female site. I've just been ignoring him is what I generally do in real life where men can't help themselves from muscling in on female friendly spaces.

Well, hopefully he’ll be quiet now.

I’ve just woken up, fairly soon I’m going to get up, feed the cats, do the next step in my batch of sourdough rolls, have breakfast, go to the gym, go for coffee & then come back to do a bit of DIY & crocheting to an audio book. Peaceful yet productive Sunday.

@EmpressaurusDeiGatti that sounds like an ideal Sunday!

I’ve been awake since 7, drinking tea, reading magazines and catching up on podcasts. It’s been a very peaceful and gentle morning so far. Next up is a bike ride to get some bread and pastries then back to do some decorating. I’ve been out so much over the last couple of weeks, the social battery is on 0 so time to recharge!

That sounds like a pretty ideal Sunday too @Over40Overdating! Running about an hour later than I meant to because obviously, morning cuddles take priority but off to the gym now. Good luck with the decorating.

I offered an explanation of the disadvantages just to ensure that people who embark on being single understand what they are getting into.

This is a great example of one of the JOYs of being single. I never have to listen to this kind of crap from someone who is supposed to love me. Sit there having to think about how to say in a kind way how patronising it is and how setting yourself up as an authority over me is such a turn off. Wonder if there's any way to assert my equal personhood without making him feel bad. Tell myself it doesn't really matter, it's not important, it's just words, he loves me really, he doesn't really think he's better than me and that I need to have my own life and decisions explained to me. Swallow down my anger and hurt, keep the peace, choose my battles...

It's one of those things that looks like nothing from the outside, that many women just tolerate (because it could be so much worse), but which chips away at your soul.

I think the best thing we can do is ignore the mansplainer & keep talking about the joys of being single women.

I am talking about the joys of being a single woman. Not having to put up with that crap in my personal life.

(And I'm not talking to him, just using his words as an example to demonstrate what I mean.)

@shuggles your male entitlement is really shining through.

The prejudices and stereotypes faced by single women and NOT single men:

Always on the pull

Bunny Boiler

Witch

Lesbian

Frigid

Home wrecker

Can't get a man

Unstable

Cold, selfish

Ugly, hairy feminist

A Karen

....

And blaming misogyny on women. Do us all a favour and FO.