Husband beat me up. Help and advice please

[unmumsyma1]

My husband and I went out on the weekend had a few drinks
Got home had an argument that he started over nothing and he beat me.
Threw me on the floor kicked me, strangled me and smashed my face into the wall and made my nose bleed.

I tried to call the police and my friends but he took my phone so I just went to bed and sobbed and fell asleep

I've ignored him since he is still in the house I don't know what to do... he's saying he remembers nothing and he's cried when he has saw my bruises and cuts and ripped out hair.

I know he has to go I can't even look at him or speak to him or even have the energy to tell him to get out I haven't slept hardly since it happened. My body is black and blue

I'm too ashamed to tell my family or anyone that I've just not done anything and lied about why I called them at that hour, I've just been going to work and carrying on caring for my 2 boys like normal.. (they where not in the house) I feel like I'm in a dream just like I'm just functioning but not really here.

I can't process what has happened at all

What do I do now
I am literally just surviving for my kids and in some kind of limbo I need to snap out of

Oh sweetheart, I've only just read this. Sending strong thoughts to you to help you through today. I really hope you're seeing the GP and especially, your mum x

It's never too late. Until it is.

Please act now. For you. For your boys.

The first time is never the last time.

You can get through this. And you will.

How are you doing today op?
I hope you've managed to tell someone. You have nothing to be ashamed of, he has.
These things are never a one off...It will ramp up and he may kill you. Your kids need you well and alive.

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. If you go to the police yes they will probably call social services but they won’t take the kids off you if your actively doing something about it. Report to police, end the relationship and restrict his access to children etc. if social see you’ve filed a police report and are trying to get away from him this will go in your favour.

However if you don’t report anything and continue this relationship who’s to say he won’t hit you in front of the kids next time. A neighbour could call police from noise concerns etc and they would report you to social then any way and also let them know it wasn’t you who called them but the neighbour. Reporting it goes in your favour much more than doing nothing about it.

get out if not for yourself then for your children. You say this is the first time he’s attacked you in 7 years so who’s to say he won’t seriously hurt your children next.

Oh op So very sorry this happened to you, please follow the good advice on here.

Hi all

Been with mum all day have told her everything and I have shown her, she's been amazing listening to me stress over how I'm going to manage dropping and picking up kids and working on my own.

Think I have my practical head on now.

I've told him over text to leave and he has agreed, I'll be collecting the kids and staying here until I know he has gone and posted the keys back through

It's a start

Well done OP, you’re amazing

Well done @unmumsyma1

@unmumsyma1 Well done!
You have been very wise and brave to do this rather than wait for another serious assault.

Assume the house is yours?
Get the locks changed, please, as a matter of urgency.

You don’t want him letting himself in .

Oh well done @unmumsyma1 . I am so relieved for you and the kids and so proud too.

However, I wouldn't trust him. You have to stop thinking he is the man you love, who you trusted and who you were in a team with. He is now an enemy and dangerous. Very few men beat their partners then meekly say okay when you say you want them to leave. Do not go to the house alone. Don't let the children see him alone. I'm sorry to add to any worries but plenty of men kill their kids as a way at getting back at the wife who has dared to leave them.

Please tell the police and the school. Any questions, post on here as someone will know the answer.

Just to say I'm sorry this has happened to you and glad you've asked him to leave. Strangling, choking etc is an identifiable indicator of risk of further serious harm, including murder. Please think of your children too.

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I thought you would have facial bruises after he smashed your face into the wall, that’s probably what the poster thought too.

Im so sorry to hear what you have gone through and well done for being so brave to share this with your Mother and ask him to leave.

I can only imagine how hard this must be for you to manage and come to terms with but you have done the right thing. Xx

Have just read this, bless your heart. I'm so sorry you are going through this. You are a strong woman!! xx

Well done. Stay strong and dont allow him back.

what about the police/womens aid?

@unmumsyma1 I've just read your update and I wanted to say that you are absolutely amazing. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you 😁

Big hugs OP, well done for standing your ground and telling him to leave, that really took a lot of courage. You are taking the steps to protect yourself and your children. Everyone on here is rooting for you.

@unmumsyma1 well done, stay strong, so glad you've taken 2 very important steps today and your mum knows now and can support you xx

@unmumsyma1 Well done you! That's the first step, I agree with someone else that just to agree so meekly to move out is a bit unbelievable really, make sure when you go back everything is secure and also let the police know with the photos of your bruises, there will be a marker on your house if gets in and you ring them, they'll get there quicker. Also, if he asks to talk, which he will, do it in a public place not in your home when you're alone. There are next steps but for now, this is a huge step and we're all worrying about you. Keep us updated, stay strong x

I’m glad your mum is supporting you OP.
But this still needs reporting to the police.
For your safety and your childrens.

@tuvamoodyson

I just had a nose bleed no visible brusies on my face just a lump to the side of my forehead that's a bit tender

I know I need to

It's taken a lot for me to do what I have today I just need to make sure he's out and lock up everything tonight before I make my next move

I might even stay at my mums it's just hectic with the kids

@unmumsyma1 to be honest, I think tonight that's a good move, stay at your mums and if nothing else, today you need her support and you can think clearly tomorrow.

Please seek medical attention. Just to be safe.

So glad to see your update op. Maybe staying with your mum will help you to continue getting stronger, and ensure that you continue to be safe. You made a massive step today x