Husband says he's 'relieved' when we have a ready meal instead of me cooking

[Coralinea]

My husband and I sometimes cook from scratch, and sometimes have a ready meal (for the oven, such as a fish pie).

I've always really liked cooking. If we cook anything from scratch, it's normally me who cooks, and we normally eat a bit later (closer to 8pm than 7pm) because of the prep. I like making things like curries and pasta bakes, and I experiment with new things.

The other day, my husband said he feels 'relieved' when we have a ready meal, because we eat earlier and there's no clanking around of pans and extra washing up (though we have a big dishwasher that does most of this).

AIBU to feel really annoyed he said this, and to feel like I just don't want to cook for him anymore? I feel like if it's not ready before 7.30, then he's annoyed it's 'late' and would prefer a ready meal.

All the hate for eating early.

As kids we all ate at 5 round the table.. When mine were little they ate at five but due to jobs and commute we ate at 7:30. Now I’m retired and late fifties, I eat brunch around 10, at four I’m starving so eat like an old person at 16:30. I’m up at 6, I’m in bed at 9.

your eating habits change as your life changes. It’s fine to not want to wait until 7:30 if you’re starving.

I also would find 8 pm too late, so I see his point. Instead of the scorched earth childish approach of I never wish to cook for him again, as it’s something you enjoy doing, why not try to find a compromise, hear what he’s telling you.

Any adult who eats before 7 has been childified. I have friends who all eat at 5. 🤮 I wouldn’t be remotely hungry then. I book restaurant reservations for no earlier than 8.

In what world is 8 late to eat 🤣

I just double up portions when I cook. Two packs of sausages in the oven instead of one. Twice as much mash. If you do this on a Sunday night then you can have the leftovers on Monday night (microwave some peas). Tuesday night is a ready meal. Wednesday is something one pan and quick, stir-fry maybe.
Thursday is leftover stir-fry. Friday ready meal again. Repeat.

I'm getting older and although I'm a big foodie I'm getting more and more grumpy about the time I spend cooking. We eat probably 90% from scratch. If we have precooked stuff I tend to embellish.

Eg. I will buy supermarket curry but fry up my own paneer and veggies in spices to go with it while the rice is cooking and the currys are in the microwave. Whole meal takes about 15 minutes.

Getting a really good nonstick frying pan has been great for speed.

I love the phrases like ‘I can abide eating before 8pm’. It reminds me of the threads where people are talking about what time they get up. With the some of the early risers acting like sleeping in is a moral failing.

People have preferences. These will come from their life style, routine and so on.

I wouldn’t be eating at 7.30pm or later. I want to walk the dogs, have a shower, chill out with a book and actually have digested my meal before bed. My kids are the same, because that’s what they have been brought up. My teenage son would be eating dog if I made him wait til 8pm.

In fact, either him or my adult daughter would have made something themselves before it got to that point.

The husband here made a comment about how he prefers eating late. That’s it. He expressed his preference. I cook most nights, but something that takes 20-30mins at most. Cooking mid week doesn’t mean you need to eat late.

If ops preference is to eat late and his is to eat earlier, they will just have to come up with a compromise.

Reminds me of the time DD told I’d made the nicest pesto ever (the one day I’d got it out of a jar) 😂

This is what I would suggest too ( and it’s what we used to do when working to a schedule). Sensible, practical advice , if you don’t mind my saying so.

I can’t understand why some posters want to wind up the OP into some sort of LTB frenzy over a bit of simple household management. Misery loves company, though, my Gran used to say.

In my case it's not horror, it's surprise. We're all working until at least 6pm, often later.

We work with the US a lot, so obviously things get later, but even when I was working in an office, I don't think anyone ever left the office before 6pm, and was usually later. Then commuting, etc. meant no way was it possible to sit at the table at 7, let alone 6.

People must be finishing work very early.

He'd probably love to do that, but OP would be offended. That's literally what she's complaining about in the post- that he'd rather not wait for her to cook and serve around 8pm. How does him rejecting her food entirely solve the issue at hand?

I agree with other posters that batch cooking and freezing is the way to go.

I would not be impressed if my DH preferred ready meals to home cooked meals.

We both cook and often batch cook at weekends and freeze or just cook double portions of a meal and freeze one portion.

I am retired (70) and DH still works but is home by 4pm at the latest. We still never eat until 7.30 at the earliest. I know quite a lot of neighbours eat between 5pm and 6pm but that just seems far to early to us and we would be starving again by 10pm. We go to bed between 11pm and midnight (still up at 6.30am)

Your husband was probably trying to (clumsily) give you the message that you don’t need to feel you have to go to so much effort! I think you’re overthinking what he said. Why don’t you just have a conversation with him?

We eat at 5pm every day. I always cook from scratch. Either make it the night before / batch cook for the freezer or start really early if it's the weekend 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes YABU to feel like that. He gave good reasons as to why he said that. He’s obviously hungry so wants to eat earlier than 8pm. I thought it was going to be a post about how he’s slagged your awful cooking off but that isn’t the case.

We used to eat at 7/7.30 when commuting however both working from home since Covid so now we sit down to eat in time for House of Games (6pm) every night.

When we go out to eat (usually 7.30/8pm) we're both ravenous! I couldn't eat that 'late' every night!

We do too.
cannot eat later unless I want severe indigestion when I go to bed and this way I can get my 18:6 fasting in three days a week.

No, I finish at 5pm and home for 5.10pm -5.15pm depending on traffic. Plenty of time to get in and get dinner in the table by 6pm

OP I’m the same, either DH or I always cook from scratch and usually eat with our teens between 7 and 7.30. I used to love cooking but it’s feeling more and more like a chore. Recently DH took DS away for half term and DD and pretty much ate either really quick things like noodles and pasta or M&S ready meals. It was great 😊.

We rarely eat before 8, DH never leaves work before 6 and then has an hour's commute. If he goes to the gym on the way home it's 8:15 to 9 when he walks in! What I make depends on his eta, I prep for a stir fry if he's straight home and something in the slow cooker if it's later (I wfh) and the 1st few meals of the week are reheated from the weekend.

Any faffing is done at the weekend so that weekdays are quick & easy!

Do the people who eat at 8pm have kids? There would be a mutiny at our house if I fed them that late. Also I skip breakfast, have lunch around 1pm and I'm also starving by 6:00. I had no idea people had such strong opinions on the "correct" time to eat dinner 😂

Do you feel superior saying that ?
Ever thought that some people prefer to live differently from you ?

I find the discussion about meal time very interesting! So many different ways of doing it! We are obviously outliers as we eat after 9. DH does all the cooking. On weekdays I work (wfh) till about 8.30. My choice, it enables me to start later in the morning. I am not a morning person.

Fifteen year old DS has a snack when he gets home from school and so is fine to wait till 9 for supper. On weekend nights we'll have some nibbles in the early evening, hummus with breadsticks, that kind of thing.

Personally, 8pm is too late for me to eat my evening meal. I'm with your DH on this one.

We don't have children to cook for and our mealtime is driven by the practicalities of combining it with work and commuting - it's not a free choice.

We don't go to bed until about 23:30 either

I’d have thought it was better to eat earlier and give your system a longer break and not have all that food at night, but for some reason it’s very uncool to eat earlier than 8pm lol. Silly isn’t it.

Once I’m living alone my aim is to stop eating after about 4pm and give myself a big break before breakfast.