Husband says he's 'relieved' when we have a ready meal instead of me cooking

[Coralinea]

My husband and I sometimes cook from scratch, and sometimes have a ready meal (for the oven, such as a fish pie).

I've always really liked cooking. If we cook anything from scratch, it's normally me who cooks, and we normally eat a bit later (closer to 8pm than 7pm) because of the prep. I like making things like curries and pasta bakes, and I experiment with new things.

The other day, my husband said he feels 'relieved' when we have a ready meal, because we eat earlier and there's no clanking around of pans and extra washing up (though we have a big dishwasher that does most of this).

AIBU to feel really annoyed he said this, and to feel like I just don't want to cook for him anymore? I feel like if it's not ready before 7.30, then he's annoyed it's 'late' and would prefer a ready meal.

OK. Maybe I'm wrong about this. I honestly thought that people, everyone, decided when to eat their evening meal, based on what was happening in their lives each day

Not because their grandfather, who was a Lord, ate at 8.30 pm or because their Grandmother, who was a factory worker, ate at 5pm because she did manual labour and was hungrier

I mean.....if I'm wrong, I'm wrong....but the social history of eating dinner idea, seems pretty crazy to me!

They are just saying the same as you though?

Why is it okay to say you won't eat after 7.30 but not they won't eat till 8pm

There's a lot more faux horror at eating at a reasonable time of 7.30 on this thread that fauz horror at eating early.

Even as a child I wouldn't have eaten at 5, we would have been doing hobbies our out playing till we'll gone that time.
You make a good point about restaurant reservations, when I worked in a restaurant we never had early dinner reservations, they were all 7/7.30/8.

Why’s it patronising?

Bringing class into some random discussion about a woman's husband not wanting to eat late is patronising. Whatever is middle class is the right way.

Same with shoes off- "ooh in the past miners had to take off their grubby shoes at the door but aristocracy can afford cleaners so didn't need to, so it's actually middle class☺️"

So?! Who cares, what relevance does that have? It literally depends on the family, why is every dumb thing a class signifier on here???

Class wars enter the room.😂

Don't you think culture comes into it! Surely food is one of the biggest bits of culture. DH had never eaten corn beef hash when I met him!

Oh sure! With TYPES of food. I agree

But choosing to eat your evening meal at 8pm because your grandfather ate his at 8.30 pm because he did nothing all day and therefore wasn't hungry before 8.30 pm.....mind blown 🙀

It would be too late for me. It was clumsily said. I would cook one day or two in advance - both of u, so then all u have to do is warm things through. Agree re slow cooker. Try taming twins website- hood ideas here. Made the chicken casserol and chicken saray- delicious

I’m with your husband on this. We used to eat at 8 or so but, as I’ve got older, I find that it really upsets my digestion and sleep to eat so late. Plus I’m hungry so will end up snacking at 5/6 to keep me going. And it’s nice to have some time after dinner to do things.

why not cook some curries or other meals at the weekend that can be taken out of the freezer ready to heat up quickly for 7, or plan meals that are quick - stir fries, pasta etc, rather than meals take an hour to cook.

It’s not healthy to eat late though.

Why not? What happens? And is 7pm late?

This has been debunked.

I don't think 8 buy this. Most people I know eat as soon as they / their family gets home which is between 5-6 - the type of job they do does not matter...not to mention that if you have kids they will eat you before they will wait till 7 or 8 😂

btw, I sense a slight snobbish attitudes here - people who are not concerned with their social standing probably would not spend so much time thinking about when to eat to appear proper middle class

even in the most corporate, sit-on-your-ass, work-from-home type of job there is around 5h between your lunch and dinner. it's not that unusual to be hungry by the time you get home unless you eat very heavy lunches or snack a lot (which I do and I still fancy dinner by 6 at the latest).

It’s not healthy to eat late though

I don’t know anybody who has died from it or even become mildly unwell.

I don’t get home until after 7 most weekdays so eating late is inevitable. My husband cooks and aims to serve at 8.

I’ve never eaten later than 6.30.

I just wouldn’t eat from 7.00 onwards. Too much faff clearing up leaves no evening.

Also, l eat around 1 during the day. I’m starving by 6.

Those who eat later must eat massive amounts during the day.

Any adult who eats before 7 has been childified.

Or has a different schedule from you and is hungry at that time. I eat lunch at 12:25 because of my work schedule. I'm getting really hungry by about 5:30 and find it hard to resist snacks. We generally eat between 6 and 7:30 depending on whether any of us (usually dh) has some kind of activity in the evening and/or when we feel hungry enough to eat. I am not childified . I eat when it is practical to do so and when I am hungry.

I think most people are focusing on his late it may or may not be to eat, but surely no one wants to contend with washing up around 9 after a long day at work?

This is exactly why I rarely cook from scratch, I work long hours and the last thing I want to do after a tiring day is stand in front of the sink dealing with dishes on top of it all.

It's generally a family and class thing. Which are usually culturally one and the same

You mean it’s a snob type thing? I eat later therefore I’m more superior?

Df did not do a ‘manual’ job. He still ate at 6.

No kids? I don't think 8 is too late, if you both don't get home until after 6.

Home cooked meals are invariably healthier and cheaper than ready meals. And they taste better.

I'd just respond that you're not willing to be fat and poor because he's too lazy to do the washing up. (Or maybe something constructive like suggesting a bigger lunch?)

all the snobs here forgot that middle class people have afternoon tea to keep them going

Even as a child I wouldn't have eaten at 5, we would have been doing hobbies our out playing till we'll gone that time

You can also do these things after eating at 5

personally id also prefer it, past 7pm i want to chill, i dont want to be thinking of food and then having to eat, normally if i havent eaten by 6.30/7 i just grab a snack and miss a meal

I think whether other people eat later or earlier is neither here nor there. I would be upset at your dh’s comment as it shows a lack of appreciation at (a) the effort put into cooking and (b) the benefits of home cooked meals. If he’d said “I love having home cooked meals but I’m starving by 8, how can I help to get dinner on the table earlier” that would be one thing but he’s basically said he doesn’t gaf about your cooking, which is a form of nurturing.

Living on ready meals is revolting and far worse for your health than eating a bit later.

YABU if you’re eating that late because you’re spending too long cooking. Cooking is great, but during the working week go for quick options and save the long-cook things and experimenting until the weekend.

There are loads of nice, healthy meals you can make in 30 mins or so. In fact, there are lots of books geared round this.in addition, make double portions so you can have the same again the next day as you’re very own ‘ready meal’.