Husband says he's 'relieved' when we have a ready meal instead of me cooking

[Coralinea]

My husband and I sometimes cook from scratch, and sometimes have a ready meal (for the oven, such as a fish pie).

I've always really liked cooking. If we cook anything from scratch, it's normally me who cooks, and we normally eat a bit later (closer to 8pm than 7pm) because of the prep. I like making things like curries and pasta bakes, and I experiment with new things.

The other day, my husband said he feels 'relieved' when we have a ready meal, because we eat earlier and there's no clanking around of pans and extra washing up (though we have a big dishwasher that does most of this).

AIBU to feel really annoyed he said this, and to feel like I just don't want to cook for him anymore? I feel like if it's not ready before 7.30, then he's annoyed it's 'late' and would prefer a ready meal.

He may sleep worst, have reflux at night or other problems because of the late meals. Or be super hungry by then.
Why don't you cook today for tomorrow's dinner? So you eat early. Cook for next day. Tidy up.
Or batch cook and freeze?

How is 8pm too late? Not everyone has a 9-5 job you know. DH works in London and is never home before 8.15pm.

We cook 100% from scratch. Tbf I even made my own granola the other day to avoid palm
oil and preservatives. However, the compromise is the slow cooker. We use the slow cooker endlessly to ensure an earlier mealtime with fewer dishes. Total game changer.

my other half would eat a ready meal endlessly and not blink so slow cooker compromise.

we both work until six. Collect baby and eat by seven.

The same as 5pm would be too early for you I imagine

I guess it depends what time you’re getting home and starting the prep for your evening meal ?
The latest I like to eat is 7pm , any later than than that and I don’t think I’d sleep well unless it was just a small snack for dinner .
I have lots of very quick and easy recipes that are still cooking from scratch and you’d have them on the table in no time .
Best to leave the more complicated cooking for your day off or another time you can start prepping earlier

Yes Ur being too sensitive and definitely unreasonable. He's obvi starving and is ready for his tea, doesn't really care what, just something and fast and no faff. Keep Ur culinary adventures to the weekend or when he's not starving. I feel for him.

Prepare in advance so straight into the oven or on the hob when you get home?

Why doesn’t he cook himself?

When do folks come home from work or stop working if wfh? Agreed.

Also OP, your husband sounds like her cares about you having some downtime.

No, but there was a lot less obesity in 1975.
Everything I hear from reliable sources these days says there should be a good gap - at least twelve hours - between your evening meal and breakfast.

I hate eating after 7- prefer to have my evening meal between 5-6. Just sits on my stomach- horrible.

I understand what he means - he just phrased it badly!

Having a ready meal is easier and less hassle. It isn't a patch on cooking from scratch but actually sometimes it is a relief to bung a supermarket lasagne in the oven and sit down rather than dirtying pans and the kitchen before the blasted thing even goes near the oven. Fish pie uses so many pans but my homemade one is vastly superior. Other things mine is better but not so much that I don't feel an immense relief at not having to cook it!

Tonight we're having Sweet and Sour Pork... I buy Sainsbury's sauce in a jar because it works out cheaper and my husband doesn't have to faff in the kitchen making it from scratch.

I’m glad because people claiming they can’t possibly eat before 8 just seem incredibly pretentious.

Bit late to be eating then all the clearing up. I have a house full of lads and they eat at 5pm on the nose, they like their food and they are starving. Waiting for another couple of hours wouldn’t be doable. We meal prep of a weekend and do curries, soups, casseroles, I make a couple of loaves of bread for the week and we have meals that can be done in the air fryer. Tea is home made from scratch with the meal prep we do and takes about 10 minutes to get out on the table. Roasts every other Sunday. We have eaten and kitchen cleaned down by 6 at the latest so we can enjoy the rest of the evening. Kids will have supper at 7:30 before bed.

I do sympathise @Coralinea though, as I can’t make very much from scratch in under thirty minutes, but ready meals every day would be a bit depressing.

Sounds like excellent organisation.
Supper being a drink of cocoa?

Similar situation, but mine goes to the pub every night after work and so doesn’t get in until after 7 by then I’m so hungry I don’t want to cook and so we live off Deliveroo. He has no interest in food so I’ve gone from someone who loved cooking and having the family round, to someone whose lost all interest and confidence hence Deliveroo. Mind you it does help with the airmiles 🙄😂

🤣🤣

So you have tea at 5pm then supper at 7.30pm? What do you have for your supper?

Your fresh bread sounds amazing, btw.

@Coralinea could you not batch cook and freeze? Or perhaps prepare everything into freezer bags, freeze these and defrost in the morning for the evening meal. Both of you can prep for these type meals.

???? do MUMs not work shifts now? even in office jobs 6pm isn't particularly late to finish.

I read your headline aloud before the full post, my husband chuckled and said yours is rude. Mind you, he cooks most nights and we eat around 6 pm (we used to eat later before kids and he started taking the lead in the cooking partly because he always wanted to eat earlier than me). I am sure your husband does not realise how ungrateful he sounds, he may even think he is doing you a favour so you don’t have to go through the effort. Have you spoken to him about it?

I think the class thing is a bit historic these days, although there may be legacy attitudes. Most of us eat when we can fit it into life.....

I was brought up to eat at 7.30, and when I left home I did the same - although I worked locally and was home by 5.30. Later I met DH who had a manual job locally. His parents were retired farmers and always ate a big lunch then 'tea' at 5/5.30. I think they fed him a plated version of their lunch when he got home from work, but either way he always ate early (and was probably hungry after a physical day). They all then tended towards snacks later in the evening.

It was a big issue when we got together as I then worked away and didn't get home until gone 6, or even 7 if I needed to go via the supermarket. He's not a cook, so think he had a bit of a shock. When we had DC he was happy as mealtimes were brought forward (I was a SAHM apart from a few hours P/T) but now they are teens I have crept the mealtimes back again.

I usually start cooking at 5 (while the Chase is on ) and then dish up at 6.30 after Richard Osman's House of Games. Sometimes I do have to drag it out....😁!

He does make the odd comment that he's starving and weak/cold until he's eaten, but funnily enough he's fine when it's his hobby night and he gets fed really late. And the alternative is cooking for himself, which would mean a fry up.

I do think your DH is rude and ungrateful but I suppose 8 is quite late for people like him and my DH. Agree that batch cooking and freezing is the answer. Ready meals are UHPFs and decent ones are crazily expensive - really not a good solution except for occasional emergencies (sadly....).

I just had a great idea,
You COOK a home made meal alternate nights.
( Its time you started to take it easy)....but on the nights you cook this home made meal ASK your husband what he prefers. If he prefers a microwave then put his portion IN FREEZER. That way you have a homemade meal for the micro nights for yourself.

I usually can't eat before 8 because I or my kids are doing sport in the eve...not because I'm pretentious! (I'm also usually starving at 6 and often have a snack around then)

Why are the people claiming they can't possibly eat before 8 any worse than those claiming they can't possibly eat after 6....? surely everyone just ears when most convenient for their work/family lifestyle set up