Husband says he's 'relieved' when we have a ready meal instead of me cooking

[Coralinea]

My husband and I sometimes cook from scratch, and sometimes have a ready meal (for the oven, such as a fish pie).

I've always really liked cooking. If we cook anything from scratch, it's normally me who cooks, and we normally eat a bit later (closer to 8pm than 7pm) because of the prep. I like making things like curries and pasta bakes, and I experiment with new things.

The other day, my husband said he feels 'relieved' when we have a ready meal, because we eat earlier and there's no clanking around of pans and extra washing up (though we have a big dishwasher that does most of this).

AIBU to feel really annoyed he said this, and to feel like I just don't want to cook for him anymore? I feel like if it's not ready before 7.30, then he's annoyed it's 'late' and would prefer a ready meal.

@Fizbosshoes That's pretty normal to me. I've never finished work before 5 or 5:30 - curious what jobs everyone is doing where they're home by 4:30 to have time be be eating or have finished by 6?

I work 7.15 to 4pm and if I am in the office I am home by 4.20pm

Dp is the same ish.

I eat at different times every day

Work lunch can be 11.30 or 2.30 depending what time I'm working until
Finish at 4.30, 5 or 6 so tea can be anywhere from 5.30 - 8.30

I thought only toddlers and old people ate at 6pm! And I don’t live anywhere near Europe.

I gave my family the choice last night between dinner at 7.15 or a better dinner (with roast potatoes) at 8.15. They all voted for the later meal. Perhaps your DH can open a can of beans for himself if all he cares about is how early he can eat.

And I thought people realised that not everyone is the same as you. I'm in bed by 8.30, most nights. I suffer with indigestion, so eating so late would have me up all night.

We're always all fed by 6pm. With the exception of Fridays and Saturdays when we all stop up a bit later

I’m surprised that so many people eat before 8! I work 8:30-5:30, home by 6:30, shower and change then start dinner. We rarely eat before 8. Then clean up, TV from 9-11:30, in bed for midnight.

I leave at 6:45, work at 7:30. I tend just to have coffee first thing. Lunch is 11:30 ish by the time I’m home at five - five thirty I’m hungry. Normally eating by six. If I don’t eat a proper meal I’d just snack on rubbish till dinner. Bed by about ten.

I know this is MN ...but does no one ever snack?
I'm usually hungry when I get in at 6.15/6.30...but obviously can't eat a meal the moment I step through the door, so I have a snack. 3 nights out of 5 I go running after work, and kids also do sports, so I wouldnt eat my dinner before that anyway.

How much sleep do you need? Yours not getting 8 hours on that schedule

I’m nether a toddler nor elderly.

Tea at 6

I tend to eat between 6-6.45 depending on what's going on that day. We all eat as a family too because that's important to us.

Midweek meals for us are quick and easy home cooked food.

Neither of us could be bothered clattering around have cooking-as-a-hobby time on a weekday evening because those meals take longer and leave the kitchen a mess.

it is interesting how the correlation between class and time we eat may now reverse compared to victorian times

now it's the office dwellers who will be home by 6

it also depends what is considered full time - if someone works 35h they may well finish at 4

I work 38 hours and finish at 4 Mon yo Thurs and dinner on a Friday

there you go! to be fair, even back when I worked 40h and commuted I was home before 6 and would not have waited until 8 to eat, by that point I'd have eaten something out in town or got myself a ready meal in 10 min

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow 6.5-7 hours is plenty for me. DC1 didn’t sleep for more than three consecutive hours during their first five years and I went back to work full time when they were six months old, I think my body just adjusted!

We just eat to suit our schedule. I never get in before 6:30,m. DC are teens and sometimes do/sometimes don’t eat with us due to PT jobs and hobbies. They always get left a plate and eat when they get in.

But on weekends if I cook at 6 I’m making toast or something snacky by about 10:00!

Cooking is the way I wind down of an evening though. I clean up as I go, but I really enjoy planning and cooking different meals. Food is one of my greatest pleasures in life.

This is what l think drives eating meals at different time.

I go to bed at 10. Read until about 11. Then sleep until about 7:30. I need about eight and a bit hours.

So l don’t want to be eating at 8.

I think those who need less sleep might eat later.

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow You could be onto something there.

But I think those of us with longer commutes (mine is about 45 minutes coming home, about 30 minutes going to work) and who don’t have the kinds of jobs that end at a predictable time are somewhat forced into later dinner times too!

That’s what my afternoon bun is for, to bridge the distance between lunch and dinner.

Growing up and when working in my 20s/30s, dinner was 7.30pm or 8pm if something special; 8.30/9 if eating out after work. Most of my circle are the same and the only thing that’s changed this is small DC, but we’re all looking forward to the day they’ll eat at a civilised hour.

Agree, our set up sounds similar to yours. My ideal time to eat would be probably 7.30 but invariably someone (including me) is out/doing sport/need collecting at that time. My hobby is running and I'm not an early bird, I can't make myself go at the crack of dawn so I generally go around 7 or 7.30pm. DS does a sports club that finishes at 8.30pm on a Friday and because everyone else is home by 7 on friday we all find that the hardest one to wait for. Occassionally we eat before collecting him.

@pelargoniums Eating late is by all means the "civilised" way in the same way air pollution is a mark of modern civilisation.

before everyone says there is no correlation, eating late does affect how our body stores fat and has an impact on appetite-controlling hormones - making us feel hungrier and eat more

just another example of how modern lifestyle really messes up our health

I think it depends what time you go to bed. I go to bed 10pm and 8pm is too late to eat!

We eat around 10pm (often later) - didn't realise this was so unusual!

Totally understand why it made you feel that way but I can also empathise what he means, it’s stressful. It’s stressful listening to my OH cook, and the clear up. After a long day an instant meal and no tidy away is nice.
Sometimes how things are taken are not really how they were meant; I’d cut him some slack.