Dp won’t let me just have a week away with family

[freddosarebest]

Curious about this. How would you feel if you planned a weeks holiday with your dc to meet up with your mum who lives overseas, when dp of 8 months is also on a planned trip to see his family elsewhere, and then dp said he wanted to come and meet up with you on your holiday despite the fact you’d booked and made plans?

this has actually happened to me twice now with this person. I’m not sure if it’s a controlling red flag. We live really close together and see each other all the time, so it’s not a LDR or anything. I was looking forward to a trip with my mum and dc. I feel like if I said that to Dp he would take offence, which is why last time I said yes to him crashing and I ended up taking a day and a night away from my family.

I would send a short message saying its over, please never contact me again. If he has anything at your house put it in a bin bag in a shed or garage and let him know its there.

If he hassles you or keeps contacting you or going to your house tell the police and tell them he is stalking you.

Don't try and understand his behaviour or what he says, there is nothing you could have done or said differently as this is who he really is.

Good luck OP.

Hi OP. I recommend you listen to the episode of Diary of a CEO with "The Narcicism Doctor" -Dr Ramani Durvasula. I'm listening to it right now and so many bells are ringing and making me think of what you have described about this man's behaviour.

I wish you lots of strength in getting out of the relationship. You can do it! You and your children are worth it and are so much better off with him out of your lives. He will only drain you of everything that matters to you. Who's fault the problems you are having or the why of his behaviour is irrelevant, he's wanting to confuse you and make you dwell on those things to stall you and stop you ending the relationship. He's using the threat of ending things ironically to stop you ending it.

Just focus on the fact that he makes your life much worse than he makes you happy. You should be in the blissful honeymoon phase at this early stage and instead you are feeling highly stressed and tormented. It's not right.

Try not to take it as a reflection on you, anyone can be taken in by a highly manipulative person. You will just be able to spot it sooner another time although you have done well to see that things are not okay at this quite early stage in the relationship.

How are you, @freddosarebest?

Getting a bit worried we haven’t heard from you. Please don’t feel you can’t post anymore even if you ended up taking him back. You still deserve support in that situation.

Apparently it takes on average 7 attempts to leave an abusive partner. Those who understand that know how hard it is, and those who don’t get it may inadvertently cause harm by being overly judgmental.

Just please let us know he hasn’t caused you harm.

How are you @freddosarebest