Is it reasonable to charge my partner rent?

[Butterflygypsy]

I'm an older mum with grown up children and have been divorced for a few years. I'm very fortunate in owning my own home and the mortgage is paid off, so I don't have that expense to worry about. I live on my own. I don't earn much so my home is my only real asset.

I have a lovely partner who earns more than me and he's always rented so he doesn't own any property. He's thinking of moving in with me but he thinks it's reasonable that he pays half of the gas, electricity, council tax, etc, but no extra to cover the maintenance of the flat. I think he should pay more than just half the utility costs as he'll be saving money on rent where he currently lives and he will be causing wear and tear by being in the house. He doesn't think he should pay towards the upkeep of the flat as its my flat.

Am I being unreasonable?

I would advise anyone, man or women to protect themselves legally, if they have a financial asset.
The last thing you want is a vindictive ex dragging you through the courts making a claim on your assets.
I would always suggest a co habitation agreement for peace of mind.

That's certainly something to think about

I hope you are able to recognise red flags, because he's a walking one. Do NOT allow him to move in. He has already made it very clear that he's a stingy twat.

I'd just tell him what you want him to pay. If he doesn't want to pay it then he doesn't have to move in does he? He can just carry on paying (more) in rent.

That's what I did when my partner moved in (although I rent so do have that monthly cost) I just decided what I thought was fair and told him he needed to pay XYZ. If he hadn't wanted to pay I wouldn't have minded, but he wouldn't have been moving in 🤷‍♀️

Please please have a proper cohabitation agreement drawn up. If he doesn't like the idea or tries to convince you it will be alright definitely don't do it. I lost over £200k and I had known this man for over 25 years. He was a manipulative liar and a thief.

I'd treat him as a lodger. Agree with pp that you decide how much rent you think he should pay as a lodger and tell him. If he doesn't like it he can stay where he is and keep paying his own rent. I'm struck by the fact that you used the phrasing 'he's thinking of moving in with me'. Did he decide this unilaterally? It feels really cheeky if he's announced this and also that he doesn't think he should pay rent.

I'd also expect 50/50 share of bills and food.

These days half of the bills and room rate would be around £500 a month. So I’d ask for that and half of the grocery bills

And yes get a proper agreement drawn up!

I wouldn't say 'rent' per se, but 'upkeep'.

Paying for utilities etc, fine... paying for what he uses, I get... but having a partner pay 'rent' actually sounds tight.

Worst case scenario, let's say you break up. It is FAIR if he leaves and you are in an equal position as to when you entered. Does 'maintenance' really cost say a standard rent of (London) £12k a year? You're effectively making money from the relationship.

She's just said she has no mortgage!

No! Why should that be joint? He could just empty it if he wanted to.

I love how he's thinking of moving in with you… Of course he is, he's going to save himself a fortune in rent and halve his bills at the same time.

Given his attitude, there is absolutely no way I'd have him moving in with me. I'm in the same position as you and I wouldn't live with anyone who didn't have his own home.

He sounds like the worst kind of cheeky fucker. He's decided to move in and he is deciding how much she's going to give you and arguing the toss over that. Tell him to sod off.

The thing is it's so hard as a single mum to have your own place and pay the mortgage every month and then actually pay it off. It's so bloody expensive. You must've had to restrict what you spent every single month.

Why on earth should someone waltz in and think he can stay there with you for just half the bills?

Think of it this way. Think of all those years you struggled to pay the bills on your own. Think how you wanted to treat yourself and treat your children more than you could and now think about this man who wants to move in and literally spend your children's money and your money on having himself a nice little life.

Given your mortgage is paid off and he's contributing to bills I think it's quite grabby to charge rent.

Grumpy? Do you have any idea how hard a single mum has to work to pay off her mortgage? Do you realise how much spare money the guy will have every month if he moves in with her?

But the mortgage is paid off? I moved in with my boyfriend who didn't have a mortgage and he never charged me rent. It's a relationship, not an opportunity to make a profit. Surely OP is better off too or why would he move in?

I would discuss this further with him before you agree to him moving in.

He will be using your heating. If the boiler needs a repair will he contribute?

He'll expect his laundry to be done in your washing machine. If that needs repair or eventual replacement, will he contribute?

Ditto oven/fridge/freezer/other anppliances and furniture.

When a room requires redecoration, will he help pay? He's living there too after all.

He can't expect to make use of all your furniture and appliances and not contribute to their wear and tear. Make sure he's prepared to do his share of housework and gardening too.

Make sure he's prepared to do his share of housework and gardening too

Definitely this.

Are you for real? You'd ask a partner to contribute to wear and tear to furniture? What would the answers be if the situation was reversed and it was a woman moving in?

Half the bills? Who is this joker 🤡 If anyone should be ‘living on easy street’ it’s YOU in your mortgage-free property 🙄

Come to an arrangement that is at least fair to both of you - or more in your favour!

I mean you can make tax-free income renting out a spare room for several thousand a year. That fact is a good starting point for discussions.

Quick Google search £7500 tax free

I have paid off my mortgage so when partner moved in I charge him nothing toward rent

I wanted zero chance of any equity claim. I pay the ground rent and sny repairs.

We do share the bills and food.

So yes he has a good deal, over last 12 years. But had saved up so we can buy together down the line at equalise percentages.

I also didn't want to "profit" from him. My bills have come down since we split them so I dm better off financially anyway . Plus or course I like his company.

As the OP is providing the home I think he should be providing something too. Don't you agree? Do perhaps he should be paying for all groceries on top of splitting bills or all groceries and council tax (as he would have to pay council tax elsewhere). That way he's winning as he no longer has to pay rent and she's winning as she no longer has to pay council tax and groceries.

I think charging rent is so transactional. You don't have a mortgage. He's offered to pay half the bills. I think you're better off just not moving in together. You"d have to pay maintenance on the property anyway.

I went with him paying £600 pm by Standing Order with the ref "rent a room". That meant he had no legal claim as it was clear the money paid was under the rent a room lodger scheme.

But to be fair, my advice would be, really really look at the red flags here. How old is he and never bought a home despite being well paid?! 🤔 questions, I have questions.

I’d be too concerned about him ending up with a claim on your property to charge any
wouldn’t want to risk my financial security
so soon keep it nice and simple and take no rent but 1/2 the utilities
Granted the utilities will cost more but don’t double with 2 people compared with one