As a women, in her 30's, I think she's saying don't waste her time if you aren't alligned in wanting those things for the future.
It doesn't mean she wants it now, but that she wants to be in a relationship where it's building to that.
As a women in your thirties, you have a finite amount of time before you start to get anxious about being biologically able to have children.
Ie ideally want a stable environment first, some/many want commitment in terms of marriage as a foundation.
Then enough time before menopause (which you don't know when it's going to hit) to have a good chance of having children. Allowing for issues with fertility, miscarriage, potential persons getting ill/putting kids on hold, and time to have another child(s).
It takes 9 months to have a child. Minimum. Allow +1 year(s) for potential fertility and miscarriage?
Plus then young child maternity time.
If you want a second you need to recoup. And then another 9 months. Before having a child ideally you want to be having a child with someone whom you both love eachother deeply and that you have set up a stable and committed relationship and environment. I would say absolute minimum that takes a year, but if marriage is involved that's usually atleast another year of being engaged and planning.
So maths wise
2yrs before trying for baby, 2years from then to have child, 2 years more to have another. >>6 years on a very very rough guessing thing.
What is the average age of menopause and also it's generally preferable to go through pregnancy when you're younger as your body is generally better at recovery.
By age 30, fertility (the ability to get pregnant) starts to decline. This decline happens faster once you reach your mid-30s. By 45, fertility has declined so much that getting pregnant naturally is unlikely
>> for women when you get into your 30s. If you want to have children and a solid relationship, being clear about what you want and not dating for the sake of dating (ie without discussing or valuing if what you both want long term) is important if you have these things in mind.
So hopefully that helps explain her mind. As a guess. As someone who is early 30s.
... In short. Don't waste her time if you're not sure you'd want to get to that point with her.
You should know where you stand in terms of generally wanting children and getting married irrespective of what your partner wants or even having one? Perhaps. So that then you can be clear when you are dating potential partners.
Without doing this inner work and thinking, it is quite selfish to date people without knowing what you yourself want and not working it out.
I think this can happen, and be a problem as the partner who knows can end up waiting and hoping that their undecided partner will 'decide'. But clearly there is no set time frame on reaching a decision. And therefore for women in their 30s wanting to have children, the aim is to mitigating indefinite waiting. And instead find someone who knows their own mind too and someone who's goals align.
Otherwise you're building a relationship but you don't know in what direction. It's like not knowing where you want to live or work. Having done some internal work means that you can build relationships with people with similar goals.
If you don't make decisions in life, you sort of end up just passing time.