Why does there have to be a reason for low libido?

[milkonesugar35]

I have very low sex drive - always have done.

Whenever I mention it I'm quizzed with:
Are you on hormonal contraception?
Are you on medication?
Are you depressed?

The answers to all three is no. I just don't want or need frequent sex. It's as if it has to be justified!

Yes my husband would like more frequent sex but he's known me this way for 12 years.

Anyone else experienced this too? It's really annoying!!

I had a bloke tell me to come of the antidepressants I was prescribed, in the hope that off them I'd want more sex. I got so depressed without the medication that was keeping me well, that he got less sex.

He was just a rapey pest and that's the opposite of an aphrodisiac.

That's a fairly decent chance.

It's not uncommon at all for people in sexless relationships to have children even though the sex was infrequent even at its best.

@harerunner
1 in 20 is for a random day also.

It's say it's more likely that for women who don't enjoy sex that the times they are more open to it naturally occurs around ovulation time....even if they don't specifically plan it that way, so that would increase the chances a lot more.

I'd say it was far more likely OP used sex to get what she wanted and once that was done, she stopped having it. Not uncommon at all.

@kkloo OP makes those multiple threads and people saying that her husband must have sex somewhere else often base this opinion on her own words - there were few posts from her where she admitted outright telling her husband to get it somewhere else and not tell her, then insisted that he didn't

He told her he didn't want to do that.

When people come to those arrangements they will normally have some kind of discussion about ground rules if it were to happen in future and then keep it quiet if they go ahead with it, they don't say "oh I'd never do that and don't want to" to maintain the illusion 😂They just 'don't tell' later on if they go ahead with it.

I seem to remember her saying that she'd be stunned if he had because he works from home and doesn't go out in the evenings.

Hey, I can relate to what you're going through. I've always had a low sex drive too, and it can be frustrating when people try to diagnose or justify it. My partner and I have been navigating this for years, and understanding each other's needs has been key. I've heard about "does Spanish Fly Pro works" and looked into it out of curiosity. Exploring different ways to connect intimately has been more helpful. It's all about finding what works best for you and your relationship.