@Macaroni46
So that's a very complex situation then and different than the OPs.
And I was in a fairly similar situation myself. Abusive ex, didn't want him to touch me. Got on as friends. Cared about him a lot, more than I cared about myself because I'd been brainwashed to, he'd been psychologically abusive from before we were even together, threatening suicide, self harming in front of me etc. because he wanted to be with me. I was only 16 so very vulnerable to it. There was definitely an element of setting him free for me but the situation had also become unbearable for me.
And I think it's far easier to leave when you yourself are not happy, and people generally don't leave their partners to 'set them free' if they themselves are happy. There's also no suggestion that he wants to be 'set free'. Generally the one who is the unhappiest will end the relationship.
Like you, I love sex and have amazing sex, my libido in that relationship was no reflection on me or my sexuality at all. Anyone else in the same situation would have been the same.
However, I will say that over the years I've spoken to friends who have gone off sex with their partners, and their experience of going through with sex they don't want was just as bad as mine even though they had at one point enjoyed the sex with their partners. The reason they avoid it is because it genuinely feels that bad. The tension and arguments over it were awful but preferable to having sex they didn't want. Now granted in a lot of cases that's because a lot of love has gone, but when the bedroom issues initially started it tended to have been because they were postpartum etc and felt pressured and all the tension and arguments that followed seemed to be what caused the relationship to end up as it did and the love to go, but they did love their partners when they first lost their libidos. One common reason why it never comes back is because many people in that situation do go along with sex they don't want even if it's infrequent, because they want their partner to be happy, but in a lot of cases that can lead to a sexual aversion, so there's only so long that a person can do it for.
The vast majority of dead bedrooms follow very similar patterns.
Personally, I don't understand how someone can love their partner but not want to be intimate with them or at least, acknowledge their feelings. To just dismiss their need for physical intimacy by saying have a wank suggests a complete lack of love and respect, in my opinion.
She's saying this on a forum though, not to her husband. By her account her husband doesn't make her feel bad over this, it's other people who do, so they are the people she responds to with the dismissive attitude.