Husband has another child

[LAC247]

Hi All
I am in need of some advice my partner of 23 years has decided to go ahead and have a DNA test with a 32 Year Old without discussing it with his current family 2 DC and his mum decided to blurt it out on the phone, he wont show me the DNA test saying it is non of my business is that normal behavior.
Long Story short this person was conceived in a one off at a young age before our relationship started a few boys was a possible father but the mother decided to tell her child years later my oh was the dad, of which we decided as a couple it wouldn't go anywhere having 2 young children to bring up and with her being an adult nothing would be achieved and now years later its all been brought up again. Our children don't want any relationship so how to moved forward :(

I don't blame your so not wanting to know the other family. You built a life with this man and he lied to you there is no coming back from that. Like the coward he is he has done a runner rather than tell his family the truth. You had every right to challenge him.

@ Carpediemmakeitcount I would never of denied my children the right to know a sibling and given time i would have welcomed them into our family the problem with it all is the way it has been handled it.

Your ex has chosen to hide. Situations like this take time. For now do what's right for your children and be there for them. I wonder what his potential daughter thinks of him if he can't face you then he can't face her. It's sad he's hurting the people around him who loves him. Has he run back to mummy?

@ Carpediemmakeitcount I agree everything will take some time to sink in for the kids, I’m hoping they all meet at some point and at least know each other if a relationship happens great if not at least they all know the full truth if it is. As for the father he obviously doesn’t really care about any of the children involved and neither me or the kids know where he is he hasn’t seen them for weeks.

Do you & your children know where he is staying? Has he told your children why he does not want to see them?

@ Freeme31 no not a clue the kids haven’t seen him for weeks and we don’t speak at all ,

So you've broken up your family because your husband was afraid of losing you back before you got together. He didnt admit he might be a father because there were other possible candidates.

Both of you are being childish now, you in demanding to see the test results, him in refusing to show them. When your 11 year old is older they will resent you doing this.

@anyolddinosaur Interesting interpretation! His behaviour was and is unreasonable - it's not unreasonable of the OP to want an end to a relationship that has begun to break down.

The 11-year-old will hopefully grow up to value trust, honesty, and the importance of knowing your own boundaries - so that they don't get badly-treated by the person that they commit to as a life partner.