Last minute cancellation. Take it at face value or throw this one back?

[Itslegitimatesalvage]

I’ve been dating a guy for a little while and last weekend, we spent the night together for the first time. Been chatting everyday like normal but didn’t see each other over the weekend for the first time since we started dating. Arranged to meet after work today, so I drove half an hour into the city to meet him. I was waiting in a coffee shop around 400 meters from his flat, when he messaged to say he’d been in a bad mood since getting soaked going to work that morning and wouldn’t be good company so would it be ok to cancel. I couldn’t exactly argue with him or say he had to come so I said that’s fine and just went back to the car and drove home, but being a few minutes walk from
his flat and told to go home… that’s a hard rejection to swallow. I don’t know whether to let it go and take it as he said; just a bad day or if this is a bit too far to cancel like that. Should I start to distance it, leave it now?

Throw that fish back in the sea!

In the bin in these circumstances.

I would leave it and look for someone else.

Definitely kick this one to the kerb

He had all day to decide he was in too much of a mood, for him to leave it til he knew you'd travelled and basically given up your evening for him... yeah bin it.

Timing poor, excuse poor - don’t speak to him again.

So rude. I wouldn't rush to contact him..

Bin him

Bin for that one! How inconsiderate!

That’s what I thought. About three hours before, he was messaging to say getting something to eat and then home to warm up and cuddle up cosy in bed sounded perfect. That’s the last message I got from him, until he cancelled when I was sitting waiting. It did sting a bit, but I don’t want to make a thing of it and tell him that. Think I’ll leave it and if he does message again to chat or arrange something, I’ll say that it’s not feeling right for me and wish him the best etc.

Thanks all.

That’s poor. Men who want you will move heaven and earth to see you. Throw this one back.

Yeah bugger that
He couldn't even be arsed to make up a decent excuse

I’ve got kids too so it involved getting my parents to take them for the night. That makes it so much worse!
I upset earlier but now I’m actually quite angry about how inconsiderate it was.

Yeah, this one can go back.

what a loser. Sound like you got a lucky escape OP it’s not you - he sounds pathetic.

That’s even worse. Casually cancelling like that with no acknowledgement of how much effort you’ve made (or not caring).

I'm angry for you

Bin time!

Telling him that you don't appreciate being cancelled on so late and meters from his flat cos he got cold and grumpy (dear god, is he five?) isn't making a 'thing' of it.
It's setting perfectly reasonable boundaries that you are worth more than that. Worth thinking about why you feel so hesitant to say that?

I'd say he was testing how much shit you'll put up with.

He’s shown you who he is, definitely leave it alone and look elsewhere. You sound lovely and you deserve better

I think the hesitancy comes from thinking that all that should be obvious, that he shouldn’t need to be told. So, if he does need to be told then will he even understand it or care? Which makes me feel it isn’t worth explaining something so obvious, and actually downright hurtful, to someone who seems totally oblivious. If he thought it was fine to do that, then it doesn’t feel worth it to make a thing of telling him and wasting my breath on someone I’m now having second thoughts over. And no one has told me to let it go so I think that feeling was right.

to say he’d been in a bad mood since getting soaked going to work that morning

The Arsehole was letting you know he’s prone to moods. Don’t speak to him ever again.

Bin that's so inconsiderate to cancel when you're already waiting for him, the bad mood is a red flag you'll be walking on egg shells not knowing if he's in a good mood today or not, best you end it now before you got further into it.

I wouldn’t waste your breath on this one. If he tried to get in touch again just say ‘no thanks’ and then block. Or just block him now. He knows he’s been a dick.

he wasn’t ’in a bad mood’, if a man is genuinely interested they wouldn’t let anything like that get in the way of seeing you. Sounds like he just wanted a shag and was too cowardly to be upfront about it.

Go with your gut. Chuck this one back. If he can't be arsed to make an effort this early on, it's not a good sign. You deserve better.

I often think women on here are too sensitive when it comes to little things putting them off a new relationship but OMG that’s appalling. You’re not angry enough!
Keep your dignity. No explanations needed. Dump.