Last minute cancellation. Take it at face value or throw this one back?

[Itslegitimatesalvage]

I’ve been dating a guy for a little while and last weekend, we spent the night together for the first time. Been chatting everyday like normal but didn’t see each other over the weekend for the first time since we started dating. Arranged to meet after work today, so I drove half an hour into the city to meet him. I was waiting in a coffee shop around 400 meters from his flat, when he messaged to say he’d been in a bad mood since getting soaked going to work that morning and wouldn’t be good company so would it be ok to cancel. I couldn’t exactly argue with him or say he had to come so I said that’s fine and just went back to the car and drove home, but being a few minutes walk from
his flat and told to go home… that’s a hard rejection to swallow. I don’t know whether to let it go and take it as he said; just a bad day or if this is a bit too far to cancel like that. Should I start to distance it, leave it now?

Sorry, but this one has been avoiding you since you DTD. It can happen, there will be a reason he didn't see you at the weekend too, so it's been over a week since you've seen him, since you slept together and that is a longer gap than you've had. Unfortunately, he's all about the chase it seems, he just hasn't admitted it yet and is likely to keep avoiding until you either get the message or challenge him because he's too chicken to bring it up.
I wouldn't even bother challenging him, just ghost him. If he messages again, just say you've moved on as it's not for you.

No fuck that. Hes a few minutes away and can’t even be arsed to spend an hour over coffee.

Ghost him. Dont waste a minute on him.

I'd ghost him, he sounds awful. Don't give him the benefit of an amicable ending.

I think I will just do this. I’ll leave it. I’m not going to chase him and give him any thrill from that, and if he ever messages, I’ll just ignore or be breezy and say no thanks.

Me too. I’m really sorry OP, it’s rubbish of him. And what a ridiculous reason to give too, in a bad mood from getting wet?! If this sort of thing genuinely puts him in a bad mood rendering him unable to see someone who has made a special effort to go to him, then I feel you have dodged a bullet here and better to find out how flaky he is now rather than later. 😤You will meet someone who deserves you, and makes an effort

You are correct. Do not message him. He won’t care.
Onwards and upwards!
💐

In the bin.

I agree with everyone else unfortunately. Treat others are you want to be treated....I'm sure he'd be pissed off if you did that to him!

I'm sorry this happened to you!

Ugh he sounds like he was only after a shag.

What a wanker. Yeah don't bother replying if he does text you. I'm angry for you too.

Only just realised you’ve not seen him
since you had sex.

Sounds like he’s too cowardly to admit he’s lost interest after sex and is doing a slow fade hoping you get the hint.

Pathetic excuse of a man.
At least you know now.
Your approach is exactly what I would do.

This is it about getting to know someone properly before shagging them. I know some say find out what they're like in the sack early on but at that stage you're disposable and they (and you) merrily go off looking for the next one if it's not earth shattering. If you've taken it a bit more slowly there's more of an inclination to care a bit more, sex isn't always just scratching an itch or something to get out of the way and score like on Strictly. Not blaming you OP here but lamenting dating scene. Maybe I should go back to 1955.

Excuse me? Wtf? We dated for 6 weeks before sleeping together, seeing each other 2 or 3 times a week. So what… 15 dates before sex? When I’m 35 and he is 42. That’s a glacial pace.

@Itslegitimatesalvage I'm being general here not having a go at you. It happens a lot. But your story just shows how even worse he is for doing this. He might still have been looking and that's terrible.

He’s rude

that would be a hard core delete for me

I wouldn’t even say anything
delete and disappear 🫠

he’s not likely to be texting back sadly

@Indifferentchickenwings
He messaged at 7am asking if I had slept well and telling me he slept like a log and feels much better today and hopes I’m doing good this morning…

Reply 👍

Cheeky fucker

42? From his attitude in the OP I honestly expected him to be early 20’s - pathetic attitude from a supposed grown adult.

I haven’t replied. Even if he did feel incredibly down and crappy yesterday, he had all day and all afternoon when he was feeling it to let me know before I drove for half an hour and sorted childcare. I’m still annoyed about it! So no, not replying.

Even if his reason were legit, the fact he is still in a mood from a small inconvenience is a massive red flag

He’s either doing this deliberately or is so up his own arse and full of his own self importance or he has no idea of how to treat someone well.

Personally I’d either ghost him or tell him it’s a shame you couldn’t see him in person last night as you don’t like dumping people via text but you realise you are not compatible and wish him all the best for the future. I certainly wouldn’t mention last night - I certainly would not be assisting a 40 plus year old man with dating etiquette!

He sounds like a stroppy teenager. I mean, he got wet, awwww diddums. Hot shower, warm drink sorted within 20 minutes.

I think you're right to bin him, he gave no thought to you just to himself.

Wow, he should be massively apologetic, this tells you that he is not emotionally intelligent.

Do the thumbs up like @SamW98 suggested it's worse than no reply and will piss him off.