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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is this abusive? H and DC

245 replies

westofnarnia · 19/01/2024 01:09

Got home tonight after the millionth episode of 'd' H sulking on a nice outing with the dc and i feel incredibly bleak. I would really appreciate a sense check on what happened. I have been in therapy for a while trying to decide whether our marriage is over for several reasons. One of the main ones being how he cannot rein in his moods around dc, and how I have become accustomed to walking on eggshells.

We went out for dinner at his suggestion after dc had a long school day (start at 8, finished afterschool at 5.30). dc is 9 and i suspect becoming a little bit hormonal as she is more emotional these days). Everything seemed fine then we started talking about the Narnia audiobooks dc is listening to that she got for xmas, and i inadvertently gave a 'spoiler' that involves some death, about the last book (sorry-- i dont want to give a spoiler again!) Dc got upset that this death happened and got a little bit teary, i felt terrible, but it opened a good conversation about how CS Lewis was religious and so believed in God and the afterlife and this inspired many of his books, and also that children's books were a little different in the old days perhaps because they were written during/after WW2 when children had to be more comfortable with scary ideas like death (I'm a historian and dc loves history so we do tend to get into these chats.)

Meanwhile H is there and i can tell a sulk is coming on. He's pissed off dc has acted this way, wont get involved in the conversation, tells dc to stop crying and 'acting ridiculous' and says she's being 'a baby'. When her food comes he's still pissed off and tells her she is eating 'like an animal' (she wasn't.) Then in front of her he said to me 'she's ruining this'. I stuck up for her which tends to make it worse. He walked off in front of us all the way home and has just told me that he's not pissed off and I'm the one acting weird.

Writing it out, i know it sounds bad. And it is. But it is also very normal for him. He's had scenes like this on holidays and meals out and at home and when his mood takes over he can't rein it in for dc or me. Often leads to a blowout argument which i try and diffuse if dc is there but he will then shut the door to our room and raise his voice/swear anyway. He cannot tolerate normal dc behaviour. When she was a toddler he would get angry if she was afraid of the dark or if she acted crazy during a long movie. We have clashed over it so many times. He has no patience. Even his mum tells him 'she's just a kid'. He is too strict when i'm not around and i dont really like leaving them together for that reason sometimes. I was out for 2hrs working the other day and by the time i came back he had confiscated her nintendo because she didn't get dressed fast enough.

He has a lot of resentment toward me because i had a short emotional affair which i confessed to quickly, in a very dark time in our marriage during covid when we had a separation, and i know this and i have apologised so many times but i now just think we might be done. I am tired of him ruining a nice evening out or whatever. Me and dc had the chat about the book, moved on, and had a nice dinner. He chose to seethe and get more worked up.

This isn't right, is it?

OP posts:
LauderSyme · 19/01/2024 14:26

I'm don't agree with calling out OP for dripfeeding.

Although this would have been helpful info in the first place, my understanding of a dripfeed is that it is new information which substantially alters one's perception of the situation, and therefore the advice one would give.

I think all of us would still label the man abusive and implore OP to end the relationship. Wouldn't we?

I am sorry your H is so ghastly OP.

PurpleSparkledPixie · 19/01/2024 14:27

westofnarnia · 19/01/2024 14:06

H started an argument with me (both wfh today) as soon as i got back from taking dc to school, about this. Apparently dc is not normal for her age and acts like a baby, and i dont respect, or listen to him when he tells me what to do with her. The thing is, i do listen but if i don't agree, he gets angry. There's a difference between listening and agreeing. For someone who controls with his moods he really claims to be a passive person and that i'm controlling and abusive, and its a head fuck tbh when i know last night happened. He's just shouted at me, said i only think of myself, that i have a problem with men. I'm trying to work and get laundry done and i am dreading the weekend. This has been our life for 7 years.

Btw im sorry if this is a drip feed, but dc is not his bio child. We got together when she just turned 2. I dont think that should make a difference. I will say he has always provided for her and that is one of my main reasons for making excsuses for him and feeling guilty.

Edited

He is abusing you. And worst, he is abusing a child. Look up emotional abuse on womens aid, citizens advice, local council, government, all official websites. They all say you are being abused.
https://www.relate.org.uk/get-help/emotional-abuse

If you need strength and support to leave him then contact Women's Aid. They have an email function if you don't have any privacy for a call.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

Home - Women's Aid

Women's Aid is a grassroots federation working together to provide life-saving services and build a future where domestic violence is not tolerated.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk

onedaysdream · 19/01/2024 14:27

rockstarshoes · 19/01/2024 13:13

Onedaysdream have you ever considered that your son is anxious because of the way he's been treated by his dad, rather than the other way round?

Thanks @rockstarshoes - the worsening of DP's attitude towards the DC seemed to be after the challenging behaviours from youngest DC had started so that's why it was easy to blame it on that, as it has been stressful. And strangely DP's quick to criticise points is more directed at eldest DC rather than the anxious one. It absolutely has crossed my mind though that DP adding his moods into the mix can't be helping.

LauderSyme · 19/01/2024 14:28

@westofnarnia "at least I would have some calm".

Not just that. This thread is full of compelling reasons why your dd would benefit from your separation.

Mielbee · 19/01/2024 14:30

Oh my God this is awful! Please protect your child from him as his actions will have a significant effect on her self-esteem. I'm so sorry OP.

Xmastime2023 · 19/01/2024 14:30

So if you split up do you think he’d want to see her at all? Being happy is priceless.

Quitelikeit · 19/01/2024 14:32

Well initially when reading I thought this man doesn’t like that child, then I thought ofc he does he’s her father. Then I read on and thought the guy is definitely jealous of his own child.

Then I read he is a step father. Boom.

I can only assume you stay for the practicalities like housing and lifestyle but now it’s time to please run if you can

He’s a horrible man simmering in jealousy, resentment and hatred.

Your poor poor child.

Elfyny · 19/01/2024 14:33

He's an evil abusive bastard.

Don't make your child live like this for one more minute.

LightSpeeds · 19/01/2024 14:33

Yes it is abusive. Your poor daughter. Your husband sounds like a twat.

MWNA · 19/01/2024 14:34

God, your dear little girl. Poor sweet innocent thing. My heart aches for her life.
I'm a bit shocked you are still with him.
Get that 1 bed flat. It'll be bliss.
Just set your mind. Don't look back.
I'm excited for the adventure and love and peace ahead of you and your daughter.

westofnarnia · 19/01/2024 14:36

Today, like always he has accused me of being a bad listener, of not letting him have a say in our lives, of having issues like a hatred of men. He makes himself out like this victim. But so often his moods/anger set the tempo of our lives. But i still carry so much guilt for the emotional affair and feel like i truly am 'the bad one'. And that i would be taking away the only dad figure dc has ever had or may ever have, and possibly up-ending her whole life. He just has no patience or compassion with her, and he doesnt even add to her life in terms of being involved or enjoying spending time 1 on 1 with her. Thats why i dont want to have a dc with him even though he keeps pressuring us to do that now we are in early 30s. He takes her out to get a sandwich at lunch occasionally or plays switch with her and always holds this up to me of examples of why he is a great dad. But even just talking about her like that yesterday 'she's ruining this' etc... Its so nasty.Thats the kind of stuff my dad wouldve done before he left when i was younger. And now i am repeating the cycle. I feel incredibly guilty. I know i need to leave.

OP posts:
AlwaysGinPlease · 19/01/2024 14:40

Poor girl. Get rid of this POS before he ruins her life. She'll resent you forever if you stay with him.

PurpleSparkledPixie · 19/01/2024 14:43

Wake up OP. He's punishing you both. Him twisting the narrative to make himself the victim is classic DARVO. Seriously, read up on emotional abuse on the websites I listed, have a think and a cup of tea and then come back to ask for practicalities on leaving.

Beamur · 19/01/2024 14:44

You're a boiled frog.
Really, enough of this. You and especially your DD will be immeasurably happier without this awful man in your lives.
You are not providing her with a stable home life. He's unkind and mean. This will do her far more harm in the long run.
Split up and presumably - as he's not her father, I'd guess he won't press very hard for access, or would be entitled to have it.

MeditatationMum · 19/01/2024 14:45

Sounds like he's jealous of your DC. His manipulative behaviour is not good for you or your daughter.

LifeExperience · 19/01/2024 14:45

You need to put your daughter first! You are all she has! Please get her away from this abusive twat and get counseling for yourself and your daughter. She's spent the majority of her life with a man who can't/won't hide his utter contempt for her, and it has damaged her.

Please don't continue the cycle by subjecting your daughter any further to his abuse.

pointythings · 19/01/2024 14:46

Leave him. He's hideously abusive and you and your DD deserve better. Divorce him now, make a life for yourself and DD and do some work on your self esteem. You don't need a man to be happy.

AlltheFs · 19/01/2024 14:51

You should definitely end it. Absolutely 100%.

Alas when you have a child with a monster they fuck the child up regardless as he will have access to her. That is what it is. But she will have happier times just with you.

Do it now. Don’t wait. Just crack on. The relief will be huge.

roses321 · 19/01/2024 14:53

westofnarnia · 19/01/2024 14:26

I was in a terrible place when i met him. i have always had MH issues, i think i have a form of ptsd from my childhood, but these have been worsened since i got together with DDs bio dad who was abusive and he left when i was pregnant, then came back and left again twice until leaving for good when she was a few months old. I had no money and had to slowly change careers/retrain and we lived in my mums spare room. I used to be in the performing arts and had to stop when i was pregnant. I had terrible post natal depression and anxiety. Excuses, excuses probably but this is what ive been trying to get around in therapy, because i found it almost impossible to accept the idea of my relationship ending, and convinced myself that dc needed a dad at all costs, and because he provides for us and to be fair goes through phases of being more present/better with her, that it is better than the alternative. if we left, our income would be about a quarter of what it is now and we would have to move into 1 bed flat or move very far away back to family. But then, last night, i just thought - fuck this. It was diifferent. And this morning when he started saying i don't give dc boundaries, that she's not normal for her age, that i only care about being seen as a 'good mum', I still feel that way. Like we could move into that 1 bed flat and at least i would have some calm.

Edited

I am so sorry you are dealing with all of this.

I read this and you are being extremely harsh on yourself. I haven't ever had children but I know depression is real, and I know that post natal depression is real too, they are not excuses, they are genuine mental health issues that nobody would choose to have.

So I am 8 months out of an emotionally abusive engagement to someone who treated me like dirt and I learned quite a few things after I left.

Normally you end up with peole like this because you are vulnerable, and you certainly were very vulnerable when you met him. He was better than your last partner so you probably overlooked a lot of things that were red flags at the start.

You also had the belief that your daughter should have a father, probably becasue that is what you always envisaged and nobody can blame you for that at all - you want the best for your daughter and that is often the "traditional" family.

I understand the idea of not being able to accept your relationship ending, I felt so very much the same - I tolerated so much becasue I couldn't handle the idea of it not being a forever thing and I told myself it was all in my head, or not that bad etc. The bottom line here is how you feel, and also how your daughter feels. You can see that this isn't right and I urge you to stay with that thought process because you are dead right, it isn't right at all.

Also understand that he goes through phases of being better, and this is confusing as hell as I found because if they're nice and better for a period of time you blame yourself and wonder did you ever experience what you thought you did or where you blowing it out of proportion. The answer is no you weren't, and intermittent reinforcement/inconsistent behaviour is addictive on the brain - like a slot machine - will I "win" today? Win being - will he be nice to me today? Will I be approved of today? Will he be nice to DD today? It really affects your ability to leave because it is not "all bad" and it messes with your head. I think that is the biggest challenge I had. My ex would cook for me, I hated cooking and he cooked amazing dinners and I thought "well he must care about me then".

At the end of it all though, them being "nice" or "good" for a while doesn't take away from the sheer misery they cause when they are "not good" and they are frankly abusive and vile. There is no excuse for that, ever. One does not directly cancel the other out.

You are living at the whim of someones moods, what THEY decide your day is going to be like today, how THEY decide you're going to be made to feel today. So is your daugther. None of it is ok, that is not something anyone is entitled to do to you, the only person who decides how you feel is you. To add to this, she is not even his daughter, and to be honest I would start to get your ducks in a row and consider how you are going to seperate. I don't say it lightly because I know that it's easy to say "dump" online, but at the same time you and your daughter are being made to feel like absolute shit any time this man decides and you know something? You can have an amazing life together without him making your day awful.

I went through so much anxiety, so much "how do I be better" - i even spend hundreds on a dating coach who claimed she could "help you bring out the best in your man". I'm not saying I was never the issue but bottom line - he was the issue, he would pick fights, dismiss me, insult me, shout at me and swear at me.

The only thing I wished I'd been able to do that I didn't do was to react calmly and not take it personally, I wish I'd just looked at him with the utter disdain he deserves and asked him "are you done yet" and been able to be unaffected by his shitty behaviour. Easy to say when you're not in it though!

squirrelnutkin10 · 19/01/2024 14:53

You are right op this is not normal, he is abusive...no it is not you, dump the guilt you have nothing to be guilty of.

He will destroy her self confidence, better to have less money, a small flat and a happy calm home life with a mum who nurtures her. Be brave for your Daughter op and for yourself you both deserve better.

MamaGhina · 19/01/2024 14:55

Can’t believe I just read that he’s not even her biological Dad, so if you left you wouldn’t even have that fear over split custody. I’m really struggling to think of anything constructive to say other than both your lives would be so much better without this person in it.

HenndigoOZ · 19/01/2024 14:55

I would also say it’s insecure jealousy that her biological father was another man. The fact that he goes on about not being respected as a man and then projects it onto both you and your DC shows how toxic he truly is. He is punishing your poor DC by proxy.

roses321 · 19/01/2024 14:55

squirrelnutkin10 · 19/01/2024 14:53

You are right op this is not normal, he is abusive...no it is not you, dump the guilt you have nothing to be guilty of.

He will destroy her self confidence, better to have less money, a small flat and a happy calm home life with a mum who nurtures her. Be brave for your Daughter op and for yourself you both deserve better.

Spot on. i'm in a room share now because he wouldn't leave our home. My room share is not where i want to be but do I get any hassle in my life? No! None. It is PEACEFUL.

Also one other thing to note: He is blaming you and accusing you of a lot of things, please know that this is a tactic they use to get you to feel worthless, at fault and question your own reality. Treat it as such, it is not the truth. It is a way of grinding you down so you back down. A lot of their accusations are actually confessions!!

Highlandflapped · 19/01/2024 14:56

You are describing a horrible aspect of my marriage. My ex husband sulked and affected the mood of the entire house all the time.

We are now divorced and the children see a counsellor. Much of what is discussed is their self esteem and how their father impacted it. I’d advise you to leave, it’s heaven and will be for your dd too.

Pumpkinpie1 · 19/01/2024 14:57

OP this a dystopian nightmare not a normal family . Your poor daughter.
Her stepfather is an abusive bully who acts like he hates her and her mum who should protect her is just accepting his behaviour. That’s not a healthy environment.
You say you had an unhappy child hood I’m sorry to hear that. But please summon the strength to leave . A happy loving single parent is much better than having two miserable abusive family life