Social services called to my home

[ea4843]

Looking for a little reassurance, please be kind.

I have a 2yr old daughter, my own business, a beautiful home, I'm educated and we have a lovely life. My 2yr old is the happiest, brightest child. We are so blessed.
I've been in a relationship for just over a year now with a chap I was friends with for a long time (we belong to the same friendship group) However, he isn't my daughters biological father.
In the middle of December it was a friend of mines birthday and we'd had a lot to drink - I mean, a lot! I was having a once in a blue moon night off from parenting and letting my hair down and having a ruddy good time! It was great. When I eventually made it back to our home I'd decided after being in the house for a short time, that I wanted to go back out again. My partner didn't agree. I think he'd probably thought I was too drunk and being silly and needed my bed.
To cut a long story short, the night ended with him dragging me up the stairs and for some reason (probably frustratrafion for the situation) pinned me on my bed and shouted in my face. It was in this moment that I scratched his chest. I remember feeling terrified and to be honest, quite triggered.
To my shame and embarrassment, my daughter was home when this had happened. He was babysitting while I was out. She had been sleeping and was, up until that point, undisturbed.
My next door neighbour had called the police and when they arrived I was absolutely intoxicated, triggered, obviously couldn't regulate my own emotions and was arrested - and rightly so! How ridiculous of me. I am mortified and ashamed, let that be known.
I was arrested on a domestic abuse charge. So my partner had, a few days later, filed a report to state what his actions had been and what it was that had lead to me scratch him in the first place. So he too, has now been charged with domestic assault.
I've never been arrested or in trouble with anyone before and I've certainly never been involved in a situation like this before.
Although my partner and I haven't really had any contact since this situation, we've both agreed not to press charges, but the police are pushing for them anyway.
I've received a letter today with a social services appointment to visit my home with my daughter in a few days and I'm absolutely terrified!
The police had advised me that due to the nature of the incident and the fact that my daughter was in our home when it had happened, that they would have to inform them.
As I've said, I've never been involved in anything like this before and I just don't know what to expect. We are not this type of family, we don't live this way. This is not a reflection of me as a parent or an adult. I'd had too much wine with my dinner and had reacted based on my partners inappropriate behaviour towards me.
And to be clear, this has never happened before. My partner does have BPD and that shouldn't be held against him. His reaction towards me was wildly inappropriate and he is now seeking help for this. Although that isn't my main concern for now and I'm not even sure I can go forward with the relationship after this, I'm just filling in some gaps.
I'm just unsure of what to expect with a social worker visit. It's worrying and I'm so embarrassed and utterly ashamed of myself by the whole escapade.

Any kind advice is welcome,
Thanks in advance.

The father will be spoken to as part of the assessment.

Ifthe OP refuses totake responsibility the father (or wider family) will be expected to take up the responsibility to protect the child.

The childs needs are paramount.
The OP made poor choices. The child has none.

You have never made one mistake?

No one said anything about not making mistakes I was replying to someone who said we have all been there. Most people have not been in a situation where they are arrested for dv and social services have had to step in

Agreed. All parents make mistakes. This is far more then a mistake.

Agreed. All parents make mistakes. This is far more then a mistake

maybe I’m too old but this is a mistake
I’ve made mistakes (different ones)
I’ve also had SS involved (different reasons )

So so much bad shit happens in life

I’m really not clear how this mass bollocking is helping someone who posted , because she fucked up. She didn’t hide it

i understand people have their own triggers

but this thread is a deeply regrettable and just not helpful

Speaking from similar experience here .
I called the police on my husband after he got epically drunk at a friends house in front of our children . I left him to get children home and he followed . He proceeded to kick at the door when i wouldn't open it and I called the police . He was arrested , not because of me but because of his behaviour . I didn't press charges but he was warned that if he did it again he would be charged
Social services got involved and checked our circumstances , he had to admit he was wrong and promise not to drink in front of the children again . No further actions .

Your poor kids @overthehillandmilesaway I'm so sorry that happened.

Just for clarity's sake for anyone in a similar position, in the UK it's not the victim of a crime who decides whether or not to 'press charges'.

The police put the case to the CPS if they think there is sufficient evidence and they then make a final decision as to whether to there is sufficient evidence for a court case.

It's good and useful for victims of DV to know, in that it means the pressure isn't on the victim to pursue or withdraw charges. Instead the police decide based on the legal parameters in place.

It must have been so scary for your children to witness their drunk dad kicking down the door of the family home. I really hope they are OK

In theory yes, but in reality if the victim of DV doesnt want to make a statement or give evidence (and many dont) then the CPS will not pursue the case as the decision is made on the basis of liklihood of conviction. Without the victims statement, or rather a statement that actually supports prosecution, they will often decide not to go ahead. Its usually only if the evidence is so clear, or an admission is made by the abuser in his interview, that they will go ahead without the victims active participation.

Its a good law in theory, but is rarely actually used in cases like the OPs or indeed mine.

People keep saying it’s a pile on. I disagree.

While People keep posting that is a mistake and that it could happen to anyone, people are going to challenge it. And if op was reading, telling her it was just a mistake wouldn’t be helping. It’s not supportive.

It’s playing it down. And that’s not what Op needs. Playing it down will more likely lead to her living f this man back in.

It’s been a month and Op thinks she still might get back together with him. He is still her partner. She is already playing it down herself.

But it’s not one mistake here. There’s been a few and Op is thinking about making more, like staying with him. Which from a SS POV could be disastrous. Playing it down isn’t going to help.

Except he went himself and admitted it. Genuine question would that not change requiring a statement?