Would your husband make you wait 90 minutes to leave NYE Gathering because he didn’t want to leave?

[Sallymorton81]

Bit annoyed today, we went for a meal to celebrate New Year’s Eve and then back to his uncles house for a party. I wanted to play it by ear but no because his friend already committed to going we had to show up for the friend. It got to 12.20 and I was so uncomfortable from dinner and exhausted (4th day drinking and socialising in a row)
i gave my husband the heads up I was looking to leave shortly. He kept asking me are you sure you want to go, oh I didn’t really want to leave yet, would you be annoyed if I dropped you home and came back? I told him I was feeling sick and not great. He said can I have one more drink and then got it anyway because I was too embarrased to say NO Infront of people. I really felt he took my kindness for weakness.

It was really awkward for me because you could tell I wanted to go for about 90 minutes I must of looked like I was fed up! It got to the point where 90 minutes later his friend asked him to go for a smoke and he said have I got time for a smoke and I lost my temper infront oc his family and said I’ve been waiting nearly 2 hours to leave. Then we left and had a blazing row on the way home. He said that I didn’t make it clear enough I wanted to leave and I never look serious? And he didn’t want to leave.
Am I in the wrong here?

No you aren't.

Dropping you home and going back to the party sounded a reasonable offer tbh? Unless he had been drinking of course. Was that not an option?

Could have taken his offer to take you home then return by himself. Seemed like a solution.

Why didn't you let him drop you home and go back?

It was new year's eve...

I mean, he offered to drop you home and return. It seems a bit mean to decline and then stand around giving him the stink eye.

How is he in the wrong here when he offered to drop you home?

Is there a reason you had to stay or leave together?

I said he could drop me home and return and his friend said no once he leaves he leaves, and his sister said that’s unfair if I'm not feeling well. In the end I said I was totally fine with it as I just wanted to go home.

YABU he offered to drop you home.

He offered to bring you back home which is what you said you wanted. But you declined. So the fact you stayed longer than you wanted was your own choice.

How was he going to drop you home if he was drinking?

His friend told him he couldn't return to his uncle's house?

It got to 1am and everyone said no once he leaves he won’t want to come back etc etc.

Why would they think that, is this a pattern?

Could you put on your big girl pants and go home, telling your husband you will see him later? I can’t see why he should cut short his night.

I'd be concerned about the so called friend deciding what your husband's allowed to do.

He drove. No Ubers in this part of town.

"would you be annoyed if I dropped you home and came back? I told him I was feeling sick and not great."

Sounds like you were pretty insistent he go home too...sad story and all that. I feel sick.

As an adult I wouldn't have pulled that one out as leverage.

How far away was it, could you have got a taxi?

Hmm I wondered the same.

How far from home? I’d just get myself a cab and go.

So you're the boss, because you've been drinking for 4 days in a row? You want what you want, and what he wants is irrelevant?

Not on either side here, but it sounds like you both need to consider your behaviours and planning.

No taxis unfortunately. I had been being unwell that morning but he wanted me to go with him. I don’t know growing up I would never imagine my dad not leaving with my mum at a party but I guess everyone is different.

You both sound like wet lettuces . You should have accepted his offer to drop you home and he should have ignored his friend telling him what to do.

You should have taken the offer of a lift and you could have jumped out and he gone back.

You said it's fine youl wait so he took that as you were fine to wait,as that's what you said,and if you said it and didn't mean it (clearly)that's on you.

To sit there with a face on and moody is down to you

If it was the other way round what would you have done?

I wouldn't have expected my dh to leave with me earlier if he was having a good time with his mates and family and neither would he expect me to