Would your husband make you wait 90 minutes to leave NYE Gathering because he didn’t want to leave?

[Sallymorton81]

Bit annoyed today, we went for a meal to celebrate New Year’s Eve and then back to his uncles house for a party. I wanted to play it by ear but no because his friend already committed to going we had to show up for the friend. It got to 12.20 and I was so uncomfortable from dinner and exhausted (4th day drinking and socialising in a row)
i gave my husband the heads up I was looking to leave shortly. He kept asking me are you sure you want to go, oh I didn’t really want to leave yet, would you be annoyed if I dropped you home and came back? I told him I was feeling sick and not great. He said can I have one more drink and then got it anyway because I was too embarrased to say NO Infront of people. I really felt he took my kindness for weakness.

It was really awkward for me because you could tell I wanted to go for about 90 minutes I must of looked like I was fed up! It got to the point where 90 minutes later his friend asked him to go for a smoke and he said have I got time for a smoke and I lost my temper infront oc his family and said I’ve been waiting nearly 2 hours to leave. Then we left and had a blazing row on the way home. He said that I didn’t make it clear enough I wanted to leave and I never look serious? And he didn’t want to leave.
Am I in the wrong here?

Exactly. Probably too much drink and funny smelling smokes over the last few days.

OP - no-one would have needed an explanation as to why you weren’t there - “She’s not feeling well” would have sufficed. Your DH could then have bunked on the sofa overnight until he was fit to drive - it’s really not a big deal.

My DH shows he cares by not drink driving. He can however go to a party without me if I don't feel like it.

Can't you see how badly skewed your priorities are?

'Make sure he had his keys and ask him to come in quietly' 😂 This must be your child you're talking about?

Lol the irony in you saying no two persons are thd same yet you want your husband to be t your side all the time and vice versa. If you or he wants to go home the other has to aswell. Lolllll

Yes I think this is a more appropriate way to show care for a loved one.

why didn’t you go home and leave him there?

So he offered to drive you home drunk, then drive back to the party drunk, then drive home again even more drunk and additionally stoned? And your problem with it is that he should have been looking after you instead?

Fuck that. There could well be someone near you who is only alive today because he didn't make that second and third trip. I could never be with someone who values the lives of others less than a drink, nor with someone happy to risk manslaughter just so they can smoke a spliff. Why are you happy with this? Your husband is scum irrespective of what time you left.

Well he wanted to stay. You wanted to go home. Neither of you is right or wrong.

Why didn’t you accept his compromise of taking you home and then going back to the party?

Love how OP is talking as if she has higher standards of respect than others when it sounds very much like her husband drove under the influence.

Why didn't your excuses and get a taxi? Why should he have to go home because you say so?

No taxis apparently. The only way they could get home from the party was for them both to get in the car with her drunk, stoned husband at the wheel. Her staying at home while he went to the party and then staying there overnight until sober and clean wasn’t an option, nor was not drinking/smoking weed apparently.

This

Drink and stoned driving is a hell of a lot more serious than just a minor disagreement about what time to leave a party. What planet are you on?

When your husband said he wanted to stay for another drink, it naturally sounds like he was drinking alcohol. This coupled with smoking a joint and him being the designated driver is not exactly ideal...

Was the party in a remote village in the highlands? I don't get why there were no cabs whatsoever.

Pair of absolute arseholes

Was

He

Drink

Driving

It was NYE OP … PARTY TIME!!
YABU

'Yes. Thank you. My mum would not of stayed out partying without my dad if they WENT to a party TOGETHER, NYE or not. Also my dad would not of stayed without my mother. They would have left together, at a time they both felt was fair (eg not straight away, but not taking the pee) Maybe everyone’s been brought up differently.' @Sallymorton81

And thank the Lord they have. I don't think a relationship whereby you're both constantly compromising is one many people aspire to op. I would absolutely hate that - why not both do what you want to do, and if that's a different thing sometimes, that's fine. And, it's have, not of.

I mean it doesn't really make sense, as others have said, was he drinking alcohol before driving home? Why on earth would you be okay with that? That's miles worse than anything else you've said. You weren't poorly though were you, you were tired and feeling sick from going out for 4 nights.

Drugs Drinking and Driving OP?

You have some very peculiar, old fashioned and really quite cringe-worthy views on marriage, men/women, right/wrong thing to do, not least that your biggest issue seems to have been your discomfort rather than whether you might have DIED OR FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE DRINK DRIVING.

You are behaving like a child throughout this whole charade. Are you not capable of acting independently? Do you need your husband’s permission for everything? Can you make decisions about yourself by yourself? DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING STUPID YOU BOTH WERE GETTING INTO A CAR AFTER DRINKING?

You should be embarrassed or ashamed of yourself for practically everything in your post.

Yes.

You wanted to leave and didn't take his offer to drop you off and come back to the party.

If he was too drunk, and had the means you could have caught a cab or something...

Or perhaps you could have chosen the option of a cab for yourself, so that he could remain there. Could have asked someone or him to take a picture of the car, license, driver...and you let him know that you've arrived as soon as you did.

You lost your cool over something that you had the option to change. You chose to remain 2 hours fuming and sulking.

He doesn't have to leave and remain with you, just because you weren't having a good time.
Why were you resentful of him enjoying himself?

This.

Drink and drug driving and the op is whinging about being out later than midnight.

He was going to smoke a joint then drive??